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to want to be told IABU?

(11 Posts)
EggyAllenPoe Sat 04-Jun-11 22:54:12

We had arrranged to meet for high tea - a small group of friends. Booked for months ahead and i had to forgo a weekend camping for it (well, i felt bad for dh as he didn't come with, it being a ladies-only event) Got there, with my sister, and met my lovely friend who organised everyone. And then waited for the fourth guest..
twenty minures later, i texted her, (feeling quite bad about texting in a really nice london hotel, beautiful (i mean really lovely) surroundings) and got a text back saying she felt awful because she had forgotten!

now, this friend is v. disorganised. V V disorganised. but i can't help but feel miffed, as if she really wanted to see us..she would have known which saturday it was. Aibu to be upset and feel like she doesn't really give that much of a toss? I am really sure there was no malicious intent, just lack of organisation. So please tell me i am unreasonable to be upset.

BooyHoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:55:53

no, i dont think you are BU to be upset actually. she didn't turn up or let anyone know. ok we all forget but that doesn't stop otehrs being upset by it.

AgentZigzag Sat 04-Jun-11 22:58:58

Did nobody contact her before the weekend?

You got out of going camping, so silver lining and all that grin

ratspeaker Sat 04-Jun-11 22:59:03

YANBU to be upset at missing the friend
YABU to expect she'd turn up if she's as disorganised/ not interested as much as you;d like

Did you have a good time with those that turned up?

Imnotaslimjim Sat 04-Jun-11 22:59:47

I would have been upset too, so no YANBU

I am seriously disorganised and forgetful, its a running joke in the family that I'm given a weeks reminder for all family birthdays. But something like that, I definitely wouldn't forget!

fivegomadindorset Sat 04-Jun-11 23:02:17

OK YABU, if you knew she was that disorganised then I woule have been textin whatever weekly to remind her.

ratspeaker Sat 04-Jun-11 23:02:57

Avoid the situation in the future
Dont invite her
so then if she gets wind and comes along its a bonus if not nothing lost

or could it be she couldnt really afford it and was too embarssed to say?

onceamai Sat 04-Jun-11 23:03:33

YANBU. Very poor form.

EggyAllenPoe Sat 04-Jun-11 23:07:33

i love camping zigzag
but yes, i did intend to call her in the week before. but i forgot - am not organised either - but i am organised enough to get to things i have agree to go to. She would have got an email a couple of days ago.

we did have a nice time. when i first got the text i thought 'right, now i can order cake!'

but on the way home i thought about it and got miserable.
thing is, i haven't seen her since last year - we have both been very busy.
i am beginning to feel that i am over-invested, and ought to just wait for her to arrange to see me. I texted her a few times last year without reply...


Bluebell99 Sat 04-Jun-11 23:12:20

If you know she is forgetful, you should have texted to remind her. I have a friend who is very disorganised and forgetful. On Wednesday, I reminded her of an event tonight. I texted her today at 2pm to remind her. She didn't show, finally replied at 8pm to say she had forgotten!

EggyAllenPoe Sat 04-Jun-11 23:21:07

well, yes. although as she was actually in a different town, camping overnight, i would have had to phone not just yesterday, but the day before...

no she could afford it. but what i seem to note is often on MN, people get into patterns - some people have crap boyfriends, some people endlessly battle with their children or their Dps over the same things. I just have friends who at least give the impression that I am less important to them than they are to me. I can choose to not contact them..or have very few friends.

tis a bit shite, but its life.

the friend that did turn up is a diamond.

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