Talk

Advanced search

To want DH to stop smoking?

(40 Posts)
MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 21:44:09

we are on our knees broke to the point of being in arrears with our rent. Dc desperately need new clothes that I can't afford to buy them. Dh even had to take a day off work last week because he didn't have the money to put petrol in the car. And yet he is smoking!!! He's changed to rolling his own so it's not as expensive but it's still money we could do with spending on other more essential items.

FabbyChic Sat 04-Jun-11 21:46:58

Its cheap to smoke roll ups. People need an outlet from their every day lives, he works and to be honest is more than entitled to get something from it.

Buy clothes from eBay to reduce costs, I buy all my stuff from there.

Get a part time job to supplement your income.

If times are that hard giving up smoking which costs a tenner a week on roll ups is not going to save you.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 21:49:34

I already buy stuff on eBay and sell as much as I can on there too. Its cost him about £15 a week.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 21:51:21

Not sire what you mean about him working means he is more entitled to get something from it? I work just hard too taking care of his children!

SomersetBelle Sat 04-Jun-11 21:52:28

YANBU and I can see exactly where you're coming from. I can't work out why DH spends money on something so pointless as tobacco but then I am an ex smoker so completely intolerant.

shirleyshortcut Sat 04-Jun-11 21:52:31

i made my OH give up. He was spending approx £200 a month on fags, and when you go to cashpoint you cant just get a fiver out for fags its always at least a tenner.

Its irresponsible and selfish if you are broke

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:02:39

Just worked out it costs over £700 a year for him to smoke! Thats enough to pay for Christmas or a holiday or clothes for the kids.

EricNorthmansMistress Sat 04-Jun-11 22:09:03

YANBU but you know you can't make someone quit. I quit earlier this year and I wish DH would too for many reasons, but if he tried to force me to quit before I was ready I would have lamped him.

FabbyChic Sat 04-Jun-11 22:13:50

When you met him he smoked now you want him to change, get yourself a part time job if money is tight, 15 a week is not going to save you.

AgentZigzag Sat 04-Jun-11 22:18:50

He'll be more likely to fail if he's not doing it off his own back, and do you want him to resent you?

Probably in the same way you're resenting him now.

Is there anything you spend cash on that's not necessary?

If your answer's no, you perhaps need to be looking a bit harder.

I'm not saying he's entitled to the money or anything, or that you're BU questioning his spending, but your OP makes it sound very one sided and that's not usually the case when you take a wider view of the situation.

GingerWrath Sat 04-Jun-11 22:21:04

If he smoked when you met him then YABU.

adamschic Sat 04-Jun-11 22:26:58

Giving up smoking is really hard. I used to smoke and probably spent £25 a week on it which I couldn't afford, BUT, it's not megga money and have seen people waste a lot more on designer labels and other crap. Since giving up the money still gets spent but obviously I can control it better so am better off, but gawd I miss the cigs.

If he is on roll ups then the cost isn't massive so the smoking isn't a cause of your money troubles, sorry.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:29:36

I can't work atm so that's not an option

We both smoked when we met and I've given up because we can't afford it. I've also had to give up other things like getting my hair cut, groups for the Dc, we can't even afford a holiday this year. And I sold my car.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:31:39

I never said his smoking was causing our money problems but an extra £60 a month in the pot makes a big difference when you're really broke. It would mean I could buy the kids some new clothes or take them for a day out.

AgentZigzag Sat 04-Jun-11 22:32:00

A car and holiday are luxuries, so not really indicatiors of being ultra skint.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:32:25

I never said his smoking was causing our money problems but an extra £60 a month in the pot makes a big difference when you're really broke. It would mean I could buy the kids some new clothes or take them for a day out.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:33:42

We're in arrears with our rent, how much slinger can you get! I had to get a crisis loan from the DWP last week just to buy food.

AgentZigzag Sat 04-Jun-11 22:33:59

And again, spending cash taking the DC out for the day is a luxury, plenty of free stuff to do.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:34:23

skinter

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 04-Jun-11 22:36:44

MadamMemoo... As already mentioned on this thread, it's difficult to stop smoking and it has to be your husband who makes the decision to quit.

Rent and food are essentials; new clothes not so much and days out definitely not. What does your DH say when you speak to him about it and are you able to do that without getting angry with him?

By the way, you look after YOUR children, not just HIS.

Have you looked at the Moneysavingexpert website? It's very good and there are so many posters there with useful tips for saving money.

worraliberty Sat 04-Jun-11 22:37:31

Problem is, nicotine replacement is expensive too...though much cheaper in the long run.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:38:34

Even doing 'free' things costs money. To get to town to go museums etc costs me £6 for a return ticket.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:40:18

New clothes are essentials when the kids have outgrown the ones they have.

AgentZigzag Sat 04-Jun-11 22:42:53

I love Martin Lewis Lying, but not listening to him talking, he's far too shouty, bit like Rhod Gilbert.

Does my head in listening.

MadamMemoo Sat 04-Jun-11 22:43:04

We are doing everything we can to save money. We're getting advice from the CCCS and have a DMP in place.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now