In wishing people wouldnt let their kids leap all over their furniture

[opalinski]

Ok OK totally totally BU re telling other people what to do in their own homes.

But I just wish, just a teeny bit and it is just a wish, that people wouldnt OR would at least let their kids know it isnt usual at other houses.

I seem to have had a run of 6/7 year old boys (visitors) who jump all over my furniture, throw stuff around the house and slide down bannisters, throw things down from upstairs etc.

I do politely ask them not to and tell them its my house and our rules are different ...usually after the "we can in our house" line...but always end up looking like a cow because of it. Its bad enough having to ask them to remove their shoes when coming in from the garden to go upstairs where the white/cream carpet is. Its not something I like to do but loads of boys running in from the dirt to the bedroom wrecks the carpet.

We have a kid friendly home and I welcome ds' friends but I really wish people would either have the same rules i their homes as me (yeah, i know but its a pipe dream) or at least tell their kids its not the norm in every household. I hate sounding like a cow to my ds' friends but seriously dont want them to jump all over my couch and kick the wlls with their feet etc

AIBU?

(and before anyone else suggests the kids are just chancing it and they dont at home, Ive visited and they do)

[Mandy2003]

The words "You will fall and break your arm, and when the bone's sticking out through the flesh, I am not taking you to the hospital to have it fixed. Now stop jumping!" or words to that effect usually works for me

My own DS has never jumped on furniture. Ever.

[nancydrewfoundaclue]

YABU if you think children shouldn't be able to do what they want in their own homes.

YANBU if you think children should do what they are told in your home.

I have a lovely home, but am not precious about it - what would be the point? But I do understand, as do my children, that some people do have tables that you cannot paint at, carpets that cannot be walked on, sofas that cannot be lazed on and beds that cannot be bounced on. But I do find that a bit...well...sad...

[Salmotrutta]

Under no circumstances is the sort of behaviour described acceptable in someone else's house.
Why should you feel awful about calling them on it - if you get told "We're allowed at home......" your reply is "But this isn't your home is it?"

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Don't ask. Tell. Do so in an authoritarian(slightly menacing) voice. Don't explain and when they say they are allowed to do it at their house fix them with a stare and say "this isn't your house". Do not explain, do not get into discussions. That way you have a better chance of being heard and you don't feel like a moany cow.

[changeforthebetter]

My kids jump on my (really grotty and ancient) sofa and I let them take the cushions off too but they know not to jump on other people's stuff. They are 3 & 6 and know there are different rules in different houses (eg their Dad's). If they are not sure, they will ask or play safe. They know not to jump on beds - ever - because they are all fairly new. When I have more money and I can trust the little one more, I want to decorate the lounge and replace the furniture. Then there will be no "resident" toys in the lounge and no furniture jumping. Plus, they have a trampoline so plenty of opportunity to jump outside

[opalinski]

nancydrew they are more than weclcome to use the couch for the purpose it was designed for. Jumping on it, however, will break the springs.

[nancydrewfoundaclue]

Opalinski and it is your right to to prevent them from doing anything other than sitting on it in your home.

But in my home I don't actually have an issue with it, becaues whe have a home not a house. So if the DC want to pull the cushions and throws off the sofas and build camps or if DD1 wants to paint her nails on the floor in her bathroom, or DS wants to use his desk as a 'fun' means of accessing his top bunk, I have no issue with it. As i say I am not precious about household items. But I understand that some people are and therefore my DC know that what is acceptable in their home may not be in others.

I like that my DC can have fun in our home, so I still say YABU to what to prevent that.

[opalinski]

Mine can have fun in his home but also respects it and our belongings and the fact that we worked hard to get certain things.

I think it is short sighted to assume people who dont want their stuff wrecked must have a stifled household hich is not a "home" and where kids cant have "fun"

[opalinski]

By the way,we only have a small house and dont have much and it would take us quite a long time to save up for another sofa/couch.

[Punkatheart]

I remember once leaving my daft father in law in charge of little DD and telling him the rules. We looked back and BOTH of them were jumping on the sofa. But no, it's not on. My child is taught to respect other people's homes...

[nancydrewfoundaclue]

Opalinski your views are fine both in respect of what your children do in your home and what other children do in your home but you cannot expect them to extend to what other children do in their own homes.

I wont and don't accept my children deliberatley "wrecking" things but bouncing on beds and pillow fights are one of my fondest memories. Before we had DC we had a beautiful (not to mention expensive) dining table it is now scratched and ingrained with paint and crayon, the legs are bumped where cars and doll buggys have hit them but woul I swap the fun for a pistine table - never.

t's a fact that some people are more woried about material things than others: You should see the cold sweat that forms on DH's brow if we happen to be out in his car and I suggest ice cream... ;-)

[Journey]

Throwing things downstairs, jumping on furniture and not taking dirty shoes off when in the house is not acceptable behaviour. I can't believe some of the MNs on here. What sort of house do you run if you think this is okay?

[PhyllisDiller]

Well they do say you should pick you battles journey, mine are many atm, DC's leaping about on a knackered second hand couch that I never get the chance to sit my backside on anyway is the very least of my worries.

...they would no DARE leap on anyone else's though.

[PhyllisDiller]

...would NOT dare should I say!

[TandB]

I don't care what people do in their own home as long as they make it clear to their children that they have to behave themselves and respect other people's houses. I knew certain basic things that were expected of me in other people's houses - you didn't climb or jump on furniture, you didn't go wandering about parts of the house you didn't need to be in, you didn't open cupboards or drawers or go into rooms where the doors were closed.

We had a large group of people in our house recently, most of whom we didn't know (we were hosting an event for friends from overseas). I seemed to spend the whole time chasing children out of our bedroom, our sleeping toddler's bedroom, a spare room that is in the middle of being decorated etc. I found two of them in the bathroom with the floor and all the towels soaking after they were paddling in the bath. One of them kept opening my laptop that was on my desk. I found one bouncing up and down on the spare room bed. And it took me a ridiculous length of time to turf them back down to their parents each time. What was unhelpful was that one of the dads kept sending them back upstairs to play after I had quite loudly sent them back down again.

I was seething.

[opalinski]

I had one visiting girl go though my jewellery box. Imagine my surprise when she came downstairs wearing my good stuff.

[opalinski]

kungfu that is dreadful!

[squeakytoy]

I grew up in a house where you did not jump on furniture, did not put drinks down onto polished surfaces, slide down the bannisters (although I do admit to doing this on many occasions when out of sight of my mother as we had a huge staircase with curved open bannisters that you could slide down for ages).... I was also not allowed to touch the (very expensive) stereo system, or go helping myself to the contents of the fridge.

When I got married and became stepmother to 3 young teens, I was horrified at their lack of respect for the house and its contents. Apparently in their own home they were allowed to pretty much do whatever they liked, which included writing on their walls, punching holes in doors, and no common sense whatsoever, ie if you sit at a table to write something, put a mat or book under whatever you are writing on so that the imprint of the fecking pen doesnt go through onto the polished oak dining table.. or drape wet clothes over solid oak polished dining chairs... grrrrrr.

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

I think there is a long way from not being able to lounge on a couch and not being allowed to chuck things down the stairs!

IME small boys will often say 'I am allowed to do it at my house' but that doesnt make it true

I dont allow jumping on sofas and throwing stuff around in my house. Why would you?

[Weloveguineapigs]

Mine don't jump around over the furniture but I am much more relaxed about stuff like that than my own parents are.

I also let my dog on the sofa, which my ex MIL finds unbearable. She is always shoving him off when she comes to visit .

[FabbyChic]

When has jumping on furniture been called having fun? Furniture costs money, those who do let their children jump all over expensive belongings are just arseholes.

I be fucked if some little snotty nosed kid was ever going to be bouncing up and down on a suite that cost 4k.

In my house when the kids were young you couldn't sit on the furniture on Sundays as I'd puffed the cushions.

[tooworried]

Nancydrewfoundisclueless says "YABU if you think children shouldn't be able to do what they want in their own homes."

Can't read anymore of this topic or my blood pressure will boil

[ivykaty44]

when the dc says oh we can at our house - you reply great cos my dear son is coming to your house next week just to jump all over the furniture at your house and throw your toys down the stairs, when your mum comes to pick you up I am going to arrange this trip and ask her how high you can jump on the armchairs and sofas - are they good for jumping high?

I suspects the dc is fibbing and his face may change somewhat at his jumping furniture tricks being rumbled

[opalinski]

I know that 2 of the lads arent lying as ive seen them at their own houses 9or have been told) . The others may be trying it on, for sure.

[defineme]

y kids know that you do whatever the host expects and wouldn't dream of bouncing on your furniture unless your dc encouraged then to-are you sure they didn't?
My kids are allowed to bounce on my 10 yrold ikea sofas that cost £120 and are holding up well, but not if I'm sitting on them. They would never go in rooms without a host and never paddle in the bath, nwell maybe when they were 2 yrs old, but I would have supervised them.
I allow them to slide down the bannister, but they don't in front of Grandad cos it scares him-it's all about respect and a decent fear of a bollocking isn't it?If I heard my kids had done anything that wasn't allowed they'd be in big trouble.
They're not allowed to bounce on my bed now, but when they had cots I think they did.I think if I had more expensive stuff I'd care more? I had trouble with cream carpets getting dirty before I had kids, I don't need the stress, so I don't have them now.