to not invite one of DS1's friends (let's call him G) to his birthday party just because DS1 hasn't been invited to G's birthday party?

[ceebeegeebies]

I feel I am being a bit petty but not sure I am bothered tbh

I went out with some other mum's from school a few weeks ago and one of them was G's mum - we were talking about the boys and G's mum said that G was best friends with another boy - who DS1 is always playing with and talking about. She also said that G talked about DS1 a lot and they seemed to be good friends too. I was a bit surprised as DS1 has never really mentioned G.

Anyway, I added G to DS1's birthday list (the invites haven't gone out yet) on the basis of this conversation - however, have found out through FB that G is having his birthday party today and obviously DS1 has not been invited.

I could do with trimming the guest list anyway due to £££ so AIBU to remove G off the list??

[lesley33]

Does your child want G there?

[EveryonesJealousOfGingers]

Really depends on whether DS wants G there, and what kind of life lessons you are trying to teach him, doesn't it?!

[Goblinchild]

Why didn't you talk to your son about his friend G?
How old are they?

[ceebeegeebies]

They are 5.

I did ask DS1 if he wanted G to come to his birthday after I had been out with G's mum and he said yes - but, to be fair, DS1 would say yes to anyone and everyone (as long as they are boys ) if I asked him.

Not sure if I am trying to teach DS1 life lessons or just seeing as a way to save me some money.....

[fatlazymummy]

Yes it is a little bit petty. Perhaps the other Mum could only afford a small number of guests? If your son likes this child and wants to invite them then that's what you should do [assuming you can afford it yourself].

[ZombiePlan]

Depends - if your party is going to be bigger than theirs then I'd say leave it up to your DS. But if they've got roughly the same no of boys coming as you plan to invite, then I think I'd probably look elsewhere for guests - ot to be petty, just because if G doesn't see your DS as a close enough friend to invite to a small party, then it would be better to encourage your son towards other friendships rather than him being in an "uneven" friendship in which he likes G much more than G likes him iyswim.

[ZombiePlan]

ahem, that should read not to be petty...

[swash]

I don't think yabu. You only added him because g's mum said they were great friends in the first place. If you want to reduce numbers you are not obliged to invite him. IMO it's better to ask your child who they actually want.

[theneverendingcleaner]

Depends but probably YABU.
I would give the number limit and let the birthday child choose.
I, due to young baby and limited money set my daughter a limit of four friends as she wanted to go to a craft activity. She is very friendly with about 10 in her class.
A few months later a friend of hers had a large paryt of 30 but her mother did not let her invite DD - the only girl in a large group of friends not invited.
I was told later she had wanted my DD to come.
Really Petty and very unkind to leave just one child out because of a mothers actions.

[ragged]

Presuming he's not one of a tiny handful not invited to the party (that is unkind), then cut from the list, bcuz he's not important to your DS, nothing to do with your DS invited or not anywhere.

[ceebeegeebies]

Of course I wouldn't do it if G was going to be the only one not invited but the Reception class is 40+ children so the guest list is always going to be a 'select' group out of that many anyway.