So i called DH this morning on his mob, general chit chat, talking about being 25c here (scotland so a rare thing) and what not! So he comes out with "boss closing office this avo at half 2, since it's so nice" Fab i thought maybe we could do something with DS, instead of me doing something on my own with him like every other afternoon. But he says "i'm going to play golf, so i'll be in about 6" which is bloody later than he would be in if he worked his normal hours today!
Then he has the cheek to say, we can do something tonight?! DS is 2.5 by 6ish he'll be on the way to passing out for bed!
I just said "whatever" as he knew i wasn't impressed, and he hung up.
AIBU? It's one of the nicest warmest days today, tomorrow is to be 13c here and i thought we could do something together?!
Plus he played golf after work on Wed until 9:30pm with my cousin, and did the same on Sunday! If you mention anything to him he goes..."i need me time, i have a stressful job blah blah" 
And he normally would play football tonight, but made it out like he had cancelled his 8-9 football as a grand gesture so we could do something!?
Maybe IABU but what do you think?
Sorry i did rant 
AIBU?
to be pissed at DH playing golf again this avo?!
Lisatheonewhoeatsdrytoast · 03/06/2011 12:48
yeah same here, we're "slotted in" between, work/work nights out with clients, golf and playing football then if we do something together, he acts like he deserves a medal for it as further down the line he can say "we went to the zoo"! BLOODY WOW! grr i'm pissed!
5318008 he worked on wed til 5:30 and met my cousin at the golf course,and they played golf til 9:30. On sunday the booked golf on Sunday morning and were gone until midday but which time he was "shattered"
apparently i can do "whatever i want" "I'm in all day" he says but not on a thurs/fri as they are football nights, I did dare to venture to the cinema on a friday once and he got his mum to watch DS so he could still play football. Apart from that he implies that if i want to do something i can! But if i go out, i'm expected to take DS with me, which i don't mind, but it's rare i'm out myself!
not compared to the hours i'm in the house he hasn't. Once in March, i went to my Bf's for my Birthday at her house in Yorks and was away overnight, that was the longest he's had DS.
It pisses me off, and average week is Sun morning Golf, mon,tues in the house "shattered" wednesday-Golf or house, Thurs and Fri- Football. Saturday sometimes a family day or he's in the house in front of tv watching football!
Because i'm in all day, or go to tesco/or my mums, i live a life of freedom and luxury!
Oh god if i dare raise it tonight when he's home i'll be the bad one.
He'll say he would have been working anyway if he wasn't golfing or he needs some me time/space, or he never does anything! (obv deluded) 
He IS taking the piss 
I'm disabled, walk with sticks etc and live a life of pain, so i'm pretty limited, by 6ish when he claims we can go out, i'll be sore as heck, as been on the go with DS, he knows that. So chances are i won't want to go out then anyway. Which he knows!!
OK, then he is definitely taking the piss.
He appears to have a total lack of appreciation between what it's like having a leisurly afternoon to oneself, childfree with no housework, vs. being home on a day with a kid with a cold and the house a mess.
You need to re-dress his understanding.
Unfortunately the only way I've seen that to work is if you get a part time job and force him to deal with the reality - because talking until you're blue in the face isn't much help. And if you're not strong enough, you'll end up like a friend of mine who works fulltime, just like her DH, in an office, just like her DH, the same hours - and yet she does all the housework too.
Needless to say, this is the same friend of mine who got divorced last year - I remember her talking about the "lightbulb" moment when her DH was away from home for a conference thing for just over a week, and she felt like life was easier without him there... no one to have to pick up after, no changing schedules at the last minute, no having to keep him happy or whines/arguments if something wasn't done his way, no one to say they'll hang the washing out but then it doesn't get done, etc... she's like a different person now. Much lighter and less stressed. That's a terrible thing, I think -to see how much happier she is when she only has her real DCs to deal with! Being part of a relationship is meant to make each party happier, more fulfilled, working together, stable - if that isn't happening, it's sad but sometimes easier to go it alone.
I'm not suggesting that you get divorced, my wider point is that your DH's lack of appreciation for what you're doing day in day out needs addressing. A sharp reality check etc.
Getting his mum to look after DCs whilst his wife is away on a rare occasion? WTF? He's pretty much a weekend father, from the sound of it.
Participates in all the "fun" stuff (going to the park, family time on Satudays) but not a good dad when it comes to cleaning up the shit off the changing table or taking turns to check on an ill child. Poor show really.
Agree re: making a timetable up based on the last 3 or 4 weeks.
Literally get a chart, like you would a child, and have 4 colours..
one for him doing "his" stuff
one for "family" stuff
one for misc (work etc)
final one for you doing "your" stuff
maybe you could do one for "this is how it has been" and then do another one based on "this is how it will be".
p.s. forgot to mention, the true equal time that appeared with DH and me was when we both went back to work 3 days a week after DS. DH was amazed at all the "little" things () that can't be done when you're looking after a toddler who's learning to walk!
He's not taking the piss.
He's being a right selfish bastard.
I'm sorry.
Yes i'm going to do this chart thing, in fact i have an idea to make a chart each week, so we can factor these things in, cause he's being selfish!
I'm fuming today,really fuming!!
I am planning to have a few nights a week now, where i can go do some shopping or visiting without DS and DH, see how he likes it! Grrrrr
and oh yes he likes doing all the fun stuff with DS, not lugging him to tesco, or to the doctors/dentist etc! Just the playing football in the garden, park etc and messing the house together!!!
I fecking hate GOLF!
Time for cheer me up Cake
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Ok well it's 6ish and he has just texted to say another 6 holes to go! plus he said "are you in the huff"
So me and DS away for a little trip to park behind house and then get him ready for bed, Sod DH!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.