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or is SIL?

(14 Posts)
Chucklecheeks Thu 02-Jun-11 20:18:08

I have a 6 month DS who we have been having a tough time with sleeping. We made the decision after trying everything else to try controlled crying and wake to sleep. It has taken me two weeks but he finally has slept through from 7-11 then till 6am after milk.

SIL phoned on Monday morning saying she would like to visit for the day, with her two DC. We said great as our 4 year old DD loves them visiting as do we. She turned up on the door step with her 8mth old hacking her lungs up, she had a cold and a chest infection. They stayed all day.
Last night my DS was awake on and off all night and today he had had a raging temperature and come out in a cold. He is vomiting all his milk back due to me struggling to get his temp down.

AIBU to think she could have told us that her DD has a cold before she came? I know I sound petty but I have just had three nights of the best sleep I have had since being about 4mnth pregnant and it has all gone back to bow it was.

I keep thinking that DS is ill when he did not need to be and all the controlled crying we did was a waste and have to be done again. I know kids get I'll but SIL is a very "me" person and I just see it as another example of her not giving a thought of anyone but herself. She was having a difficult day with a very grizzly I'll DD so thought it would be easier with us. I understand that but she never gave any thought to passing the bug on.

I know I am being unreasonable so I suppose this is more of a rant than a question.

Thanks

CC

elmofan Thu 02-Jun-11 20:41:28

YANBU - your SIl could have forewarned you that her dd was sick . This would have really annoyed me too as my dd catches everything from everyone atm .
Hope your LO feels better soon and you manage to get him back into his routine smile

katvond Thu 02-Jun-11 20:47:19

Your poor DS
YANBU she should have told you her DC was poorly.

TidyDancer Thu 02-Jun-11 20:49:28

She definitely should've forewarned you, so you could've backed out until a later date. So YANBU.

TidyDancer Thu 02-Jun-11 20:50:13

Hope all DCs are better soon. smile

Chucklecheeks Thu 02-Jun-11 20:55:12

Aw thank you, I feel better now and not worrying that I was over reacting.

Thank you for your replies, I am off to bed as I think tonight is going to be a long one xxxx
CC

HushedTones Thu 02-Jun-11 20:55:46

YANBU - obviously babies can pick up colds and it's not always easy to avoid but it isn't fair of SIL to deliberately expose a tiny baby to a very nasty cold bug.

I am probably quite rude but I would have said something like "it really is lovely to see you but we've just got junior sleeping through. I don't really want him to catch a nasty cold this week. Can we do this next week instead" and basically chucked them out. Sometimes cheeky people rely on everyone else not pulling them up on their cheekiness!

hellymelly Thu 02-Jun-11 20:56:28

YANBU. I really hate it when people do this.Not just because I have a toddler who has never slept well,but also because i would rather avoid them getting ill if at all possible. She should have let you know and left it as your call whether to meet up,that would have been the kind thing to do.

G1nger Thu 02-Jun-11 21:02:10

It's good manners to say in advance and offer to stay away.

Chucklecheeks Thu 02-Jun-11 21:10:07

I felt in an awkward position. She had driven over an hour to see us and only mentioned illness when I opened the front door to DN coughing all over me. I felt I had no choice but to grin and say it was fine. I have been ranting about it to DH all evening poor bloke.

fannybaws Thu 02-Jun-11 21:10:52

Yanbu, my sil visited my 34 weeker newborn Ds when she had a horrible chest infection, and she is a nurse so should know better!
It was all I could do not to snatch him off her.

G1nger Thu 02-Jun-11 21:11:48

You'll know for next time though, won't you? "Can we come over?" "Is anyone ill? I don't want you bringing germs like last time.".

saffy85 Thu 02-Jun-11 21:13:14

YANBU she should have mentioned to you before coming round her baby was poorly. My sister did this once, came round with my nephew then about 1 and a half, forgetting to tell me beforehand he had the worst cold known to man, poor thing. Myself and DD then aged 3 months came down with it within 24 hours and was very sick all over christmas. On the plus side nephew was all better by christmas eve and my sister and her DP both manged to not catch it. hmm

Hope your DS feels better soon. Horrible when they get colds as babies, so miserable for them especially when it's chesty as well and they can't keep their feed down.

ScarletOHaHa Thu 02-Jun-11 21:15:22

YANBU. She should have given you notice so you could postone. Poor kiddo. You have done controlled crying once and you will be able to do it again (if needed). Sleep deprivation is torturexx

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