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To want to invite friends to my own wedding?

(3 Posts)
getagoldtoof Thu 02-Jun-11 17:44:13

I am 6 months pregnant and boyfriend asked me to marry him before the baby arrives. At first he said he didn't really want to invite anyone, except perhaps his mother. I told him I was sure the rest of his family would expect to be invited, and that it would be lovely to have at least our families there. When we discussed it again we talked about inviting some close friends and people we love, he seemed happy with this, and began planning music etc. We booked a date in 8 weeks time at the reg office, and paid for it.

Today I asked him whether he was going to tell his mum our happy news, and he said he really didn't like how this was going... He says he hates being the centre of attention and feels like this is not what he wants. He said that he just wants to do the paperwork now, and a big party after the baby arrives.

I feel really upset, I've told my parents and closest friends how happy I am and would feel devastated to have to disappoint them, and I feel very disappointed myself. I'm not planning a humongous expensive bash, it'll be a few friends, family and lunch and my family will pay. I don't know how to deal with this. Should I just back off and tell him and my family it's off? Should I compromise and have a tiny reg office ceremony with no celebration, which will upset me and my family and probably his too (knowing full well it won't happen after baby arrives)? Part of me wants to carry on planning, and just push him in to it, but I know that's wrong.

TheOriginalFAB Thu 02-Jun-11 17:46:03

You need to talk to him more about exactly what it is you want and say you both might have to compromise. Do not talk to your friends and families any more about it until it is sorted.

QuintessentialOldMoo Thu 02-Jun-11 17:47:27

I understand your upset. But, the most important thing is not the wedding, but the marriage. Your dp wants to marry you, he just does not want to be the center of attention. There is no reason why you should not have just a small family registry office wedding, followed by lunch and cake. Throw a party later!

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