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My grandma fell out of her mobility scooter in a shop.........

(25 Posts)
whysolate Thu 02-Jun-11 16:05:27

and a number of people just looked at her on the floor and walked past!!

She's 89 FFS!

AIBU to be upset by this? I have never and would never ignore someone who needed help!

reelingintheyears Thu 02-Jun-11 16:08:56

Your poor Grandma..

I would have helped her.

My Mum is 86 though not using a scooter and i would be so upset if people didn't help her.

lubberlich Thu 02-Jun-11 16:09:02

People are scumbags. Truly. Total scumbags. Your poor grandma - I hope she is alright.

blackeyedsusan Thu 02-Jun-11 16:09:56

shock that's awful.

whysolate Thu 02-Jun-11 16:12:02

She's ok. Very bruised though.

I can't get my head around folk that just walk on by.

BeerTricksPotter Thu 02-Jun-11 16:14:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns Thu 02-Jun-11 16:14:17

People are twats, how awful I do hope she is ok

JanMorrow Thu 02-Jun-11 16:16:33

aw bless her. My gran fella over on the bus once but some lovely people helped her.

LindyHemming Thu 02-Jun-11 16:17:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IprivateI Thu 02-Jun-11 16:19:38

Arseholes. Which shop was it?

Hulababy Thu 02-Jun-11 16:20:16

Poor lady. And how sad that people walked by and left her.

I know that I would have gone to help, or at least offer to help.

MrsBethel Thu 02-Jun-11 16:27:49

Can I just ask: these people who walked on, was that before or after she was already being helped? Makes a massive difference.

After two people are on the scene, helping her, possibly on the mobile phone - after that I would expect people to either quietly ask if they could help, or just linger for bit to gesture as such, then walk on.

BooyHoo Thu 02-Jun-11 16:29:41

was she already being helped though when they walked on?

whysolate Thu 02-Jun-11 16:34:03

It was in her local co-op. Just shows how hazadous reaching for some yoghurts can be when you're nearly 90!

She has recently moved up north to be nearer my parents as she needs more help than she used to. She has only just got the courage to venture out on her own sad

People walked past her whilst she was on the floor and no-one else was assisting her. I can understand if she was already being help - but she wasn't.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 02-Jun-11 16:34:49

I almost crashed my car trying to stop once when I saw an elderly man fall running for a bus. Luckily, I live in Canada so about 50 people mobbed him to help before I could park.

katvond Thu 02-Jun-11 16:35:55

Hope shes ok OP and shame on those that walked passed and did bugger all. Should be ashamed of yourselves.

ShowOfHands Thu 02-Jun-11 16:37:27

There are threads like this every now and then and while I do not in any way approve of or like to think of an elderly woman distressed this way, I must just stand up for humanity a little. It is a very well researched and documented phenomenon. While most people say they would immediately help and are rightly disgusted by the notion that few do, when these things actually happen, very few people do help. It's for many complex, psychological reasons which I can detail if anybody's interested but please be assured that people are not scum or twats.

And what makes the difference in these situations (if you're ever need in of help) is direct orders or singling somebody else. If it's a public/group situation, most people will NOT respond even though they think they would. If you ask them directly to 'help me' or 'ring an ambulance', they will be shocked out of the state of mind that happens when confronted with this sort of experience.

I've been the person on the floor. I've seen it. As have other MNers and expressed outrage on here afterwards. But it's a very certain and quite scarce personality type that acts in these situations. People have been murdered in broad daylight in the street while hundreds of people walk by. They are not bad people. They're human.

I really hope your poor grandma is okay. What a horrible shock for her.

MollyMurphy Thu 02-Jun-11 16:39:01

Where is people's humanity [shocked]? How you can just walk past a person who's hurt themselves....? Its so discouraging.

MrsBethel Thu 02-Jun-11 16:42:57

That's awful. How do these people sleep at night?

idratherbeboarding Thu 02-Jun-11 16:43:36

Some people are just utter scum. I would have helped her, not everybody is totally selfish. Don't lose your faith in human nature!

Hope your gran is ok. If that happened to my lovely 86 year old gran, I would have wanted to hunt down the people who didn't help her!

whysolate Thu 02-Jun-11 16:50:23

I know SOH, I have recently read a psychology book which had a chapter in it explaining the Bystander Effect. Although it makes sense in theory, I know I would rather get involved and be told a situation is being dealt with, than to just assume it is.

MrsBethel Thu 02-Jun-11 16:51:11

AFAIK the 'bystander effect' is mainly driven by people assuming either someone else is already helping, or assuming someone else is better placed to help.

I think there was a murder that became famous because lots of witnesses all assumed someone else had caled the police, or something.

I don't see that applies in this case. You can see if anyone is helping the woman. Either you're the only other one in the aisle, or your the closest. Either way - it's clear you're on deck.

travellingwilbury Thu 02-Jun-11 17:03:03

I agree with SOH also as soon as one person steps forward to help normally a lot of others seem to "wake up" and follow suit .

It is a weird one and I am sure most of those that walked on by have justified their actions in some way or are feeling really guilty now .

Most people are good people . Only a rare few are void of feeling and empathy towards an old lady on the floor .

"I think there was a murder that became famous because lots of witnesses all assumed someone else had caled the police, or something."

Kitty Genovese...in America, I think.

ShowOfHands Thu 02-Jun-11 18:02:55

Yup, Kitty Genovese.

It isn't as simple as seeing that nobody is helping and therefore stepping in. You freeze. Even when the danger is to yourself. There are cases where people have been slaughtered with a sword and hundreds of people just sit there and let the rampage contine, wait to be killed. People are not equipped to deal with things out of the ordinary. And it's so so easy to say 'I would help' but research shows us that despite the best of intentions, most don't. Until somebody else acts.

When you start certain jobs such as emergency services jobs, they have to train you to overcome this natural inclination.

It's that or 90% of people are scum. I know what I believe.

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