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Photos of ex

(10 Posts)
Fridaysgirl Thu 02-Jun-11 13:07:11

Right- please tell me if you think I'm being overly sensitive.
My husband was engaged several years ago to another girl- she introduced her best friend to his and hey-presto they got on really well and became a serious couple. The four of them went on lots of holidays together and had some good times. I believe it was all a bit difficult for this couple when DH and ex split up and this couple have since got married.
I met DH several months later after his split. We met and married fairly quickly and have had three children. The other couple have always been very friendly to me and we have become good friends and we visit their house frequently. They have loads of photos all over their house including some pretty couple-y ones of DH and his ex. It's always bothered me a bit, but I've tried to ignore my feelings.
But now my eldest is nearly 4 and they have an electronic photo frame in their living room which does occasionally flash up a particularly close photo of ex and DH. I don't particularly want my daughter to ask "Mummy, who's that lady sat on Daddy's knee?".
So.... Do I say something and be seen to be bothered by it, or just leave be and accept the inevitable question that will soon pop up.
I may add I think that this couple are being a bit tactless/thoughtless as opposed to being blatantly nasty. They don't have kids yet so I don't think it has occurred to them.
Honest comments welcome!

QuackQuackSqueak Thu 02-Jun-11 13:21:49

hmmm it does seem a bit thoughtless. You would think they would change it to a single photo of him or him and them, and a seperate photo of her.

What does your DH say about it? Can he not just make a comment one day like "blimey (is he cockney?!) I can't believe you still have that photo up!"

He could also say that it is going to confuse the children? I think it is up to him to say though . . .unless you made an innocent comment next time you were there like "my dc was asking who that was (nodding towards picture) last time we were here". Maybe they would get the hint?

MrsNorthman Thu 02-Jun-11 13:30:17

Very thoughtless. Although I think your husband needs to ask them not you. It would be better coming from him.

glassofwhiteanybody Thu 02-Jun-11 13:38:35

If they have photos on the wall of a couple who are no longer together, that's a bit odd and rather tactless of them.

If they have photos stored on a computer and they are shown in a random order, that's harder as it would be unreasonable to expect them to delete all those photos. However perhaps tactless of them to have the electronic photo frame switched on when you're there

Could you say "Aw, bless, look at Daddy years ago when he still had hair". Perhaps casually mentioning the photo would encourage them to stop and think about it

I wouldn't worry about the children's reactions - you could easily just say to them that this is an old friend of Daddy's who he has lost touch with.

ENormaSnob Thu 02-Jun-11 13:51:58

Very tactless.

I wouldn't dream of doing this to my friends.

bubblecoral Thu 02-Jun-11 14:03:02

I don't think it's that big a deal.

If your child asks the question, just tell the truth. That lady was Daddy's girlfriend before he met me and we got married.

I can't see that being particularly hard for a child to grasp, or why it should be usetting for them in any way.

That said, I wouldn't want to see pictures of my dh and his ex whenever we went to a friends house, for my sake, not the dc's! If anyone says anything, it should be your dh that says he's uncomfortable with it.

hairfullofsnakes Thu 02-Jun-11 15:25:01

What does your dh say about this?!

HerRoyalNotness Thu 02-Jun-11 15:26:32

Do they have a photo of you and DH in their home on view? If not, then I'd have a problem with photo's of him and the ex.

CalamityKate Thu 02-Jun-11 15:31:07

See, I don't see why it should confuse the children.

I'm very friendly with DP's ex (he has a son with her) and the children have known her since they were born. It's no biggie. "Daddy used to be with S, and they had D".

Why can't you just say "That's a lady Daddy used to go out with"??

tallulahxhunny Thu 02-Jun-11 16:59:47

i would ask them to take it off, they can only say no

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