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to think that raising children actually gets harder as they get older

(36 Posts)
strandedbear Thu 02-Jun-11 12:40:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shirleyshortcut Thu 02-Jun-11 12:41:18

definitely, the problems get bigger as well as the kids sad

mycarscallednev Thu 02-Jun-11 12:41:18

... or easier as we get older with them?

TheReturnoftheSmartArse Thu 02-Jun-11 12:41:29

Yes! But you're not allowed to say it out loud, so sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

In reality, I think every age presents parents with different challenges. smile

SouthStar Thu 02-Jun-11 12:44:08

Totally agree with smartarse, every age has its challenges. But some days I just wish I could click my fingers and my two were back to new borns.

strandedbear Thu 02-Jun-11 12:44:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

overmydeadbody Thu 02-Jun-11 12:44:33


As a baby DS was so so easy.

As a toddler he was charming, loving and adorable.

The older he has got the harder it has got, give me a tantruming toddler anyday over a stroppy angry shouting 8 year old.

At least you can distract toddlers, give them a cuddle, give them a tickle, and they forget all about it. 8 year olds hold grudges for dayyyyys and have iron wills.

Pandemoniaa Thu 02-Jun-11 12:45:08

It all gets differently difficult. Or not, depending on the child. I had 2 dcs under the age of 2. That was surprisingly easy. At 3 and 4 they could be absolute little sods in certain circumstances. At 13 and 14 they alternated between being delightful company and trying to kill each other. But actually, there's no specific phase of their lives to dread because you don't know what challenges are coming your way. Or not.

LindyHemming Thu 02-Jun-11 12:45:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkjenny Thu 02-Jun-11 12:45:21

<<shoots self>>

ShowOfHands Thu 02-Jun-11 12:48:15

Nope. I think there's no such thing as 'rules' when it comes to parenting. When dd was a baby I felt suffocated, anxious and upset most of the time. She never slept, she fed hourly for months and months, she would not be put down, she needed to be held upright and entertained from the very beginning.

She's 4 now and I absolutely enjoy every single minute. She is inquisitive, chatty, funny, gregarious and brilliant. She is independent to an alarming extent (dresses herself, helps herself to breakfast/snacks/drinks, puts on her shoes, brushes her teeth etc). She actually sleeps, she reads and writes and shares the world with us.

I have no doubt that there will be problems in the future and I'll struggle inordinately but as she gets older I find it more and more wonderful and much easier.

Pandemoniaa Thu 02-Jun-11 12:49:39

You never feel you are being totally successful, btw. It comes with being a parent. But you can enjoy your children enormously for all that!

LaurieFairyCake Thu 02-Jun-11 12:49:59

Nah, I only foster Tweens to adults - I could never imagine bringing up a baby - looks incredibly hard and extremely boring - (sorry!)

All that teaching them how to talk, cleaning poo up, all the endless mindnumbing questions.

Fuck that, you people who do that are amazing!

Pinkjenny Thu 02-Jun-11 12:51:12

Spot on, my lovely SOH. Spot on.


cardibach Thu 02-Jun-11 12:51:45

Euphemiadon't beat yourself up! If you are worrying about her confidence/awareness of being loved you are almost certailny addressing the issues too. There is no 'right' way.
OP - YANBU in what you say - kids get more difficult to control as they get older, so in some ways it is harder. However, I think YABU to think that holding on to that control would be better. It's just a different set of problems, with perhaps more far reaching consequences, as they get older (not accusing you of being a control freak by the way smile).
I'm not great with babies, actually, so feel it gets more intuitive/comfortable as they get older. All the ground work you do with toddlers etc about acceptable behaviour has the potential to make the teenage years easier, too.

LittleOneMum Thu 02-Jun-11 12:53:43

showofhands totally agree. Hated the baby stage so much with both mine. Hated it.

Now have two fabulous wonderful toddlers, who love life, who have brilliant interesting conversations with me, who make me laugh every day.

Mind you, maybe I'll change my mind when they are teens...

Bonsoir Thu 02-Jun-11 12:54:58

No, the more you put into it when they are little the easier it becomes. It's when the early (under 6) groundwork isn't done that it gets much harder later.

TobyLerone Thu 02-Jun-11 12:55:46

I'm finding mine easier as they go along. Mind you, I suppose they are 'tweens' now (10 and 11), so I have all the fun of the teenage years to come and you all may feel free to find this post in 2 years and laugh your arses off at me.

woopsidaisy Thu 02-Jun-11 12:57:50

My friend says "little children little problems..."
And I'd say that is probably right!

CinnabarRed Thu 02-Jun-11 13:02:05

As far as I can see, not putting in the early groundwork is a virtual guarantee of problems later. BUT putting in the early groundwork is no guaratee that the later years will be straightforward.

Bonsoir Thu 02-Jun-11 13:03:54

I think there is a lot more early groundwork to be covered than many people realise...

shirleyshortcut Thu 02-Jun-11 13:04:15

sex, pregnancy, unsuitable partners, drugs, drink, prison

and thats just the 14 year old lol

just kidding

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar Thu 02-Jun-11 13:04:31


Different problems, differently rewarding but bloody hell, I'd rather spend the day with a 10 or 12 yo than a 3 yo. Ds was a delight of course but sooo much more interesting these days.

Laurie's description of life with preschoolers is spot on.

youngjoly Thu 02-Jun-11 13:06:55

I found the very early baby stage difficult, but loved the toddler and preschool years. My eldest DD is heading towards 8, and I'm finding that quite a tough age to deal with. I am looking forward to the teenage years, but I work with teenagers, so naturally feel more confident with them as though it is 'in my zone'. Babies, however are way out of my comfort zone!

But different ages present different problems. For us, at the moment, it is all about DD wanting her freedom and how we start giving that to her. I'm finding that a tricky path to steer because there are so many variations between what her friends are allowed to do. Things seem so much more clear cut when they're little!

cricketballs Thu 02-Jun-11 13:08:07

13-14 was the worst age! Eldest did do the Harry Enfield thing and there were times when I really thought I would end up killing him if we stayed in the same room as each other for more than 5 minutes! Once we got over the hormone surge things are so much nicer and we enjoy each others company again now hes 16.

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