to feel like workmen treat me as some stupid WAG

[bozemum]

I don't go out to work just now as am at home with our toddler.
We're getting various bits of work done to our house. And I often feel like the workmen think I am some stupid WAG. Whenever I try to ask how they are doing something. Or ask when they'll be back to finish the job etc. I always feel like they treat me like I'm some little girl or something. Goodness it annoys me so much. They try and bamboozle me with technical stuff etc. And they don't like it if I try and tell them I am not happy with the finish etc. Or if I ask them to do something a certain way.

I look quite young and live in quite a nice house. Do they think I'm some spoilt WAG. I am actually intelligent and normally do very well paid job.

Does anyone have any tips to get them to take me more seriously?! I should add that I am very polite. Always make them cups of tea. And generally stay out their way. I'm not watching their every move. And I don't think I have unreasonable requests with they way we want the work done. I'm sure they just take orders better from men!

[worraliberty]

Well if that's the sort of people they are, you're not really going to be able to change them just because they're working in your home.

If you're paying their wages, be assertive...but regarding the 'bamboozling technical stuff'...you can always Google anything you don't understand if you don't want to ask them to explain more clearly.

[bozemum]

Luckily I can mostly tell straight off what they are talking about. They just like to think they are bamboozling me, but they aren't!

[Laquitar]

Hmm they didn't call you WAG, you are the one using this term.

'And they dont like it if i try and tell them that i'm not happy with the finish etc'. Yes, thats usually the case I think it has more to do with the fact that it is your first house-improvement rather than your gender.

[nijinsky]

You have to dominate them OP. Don't let them get the upper hand, you are the employer, you have to be in charge. I get this as I look very young for my age and am small and blond. Once I lost my temper with a pair of Sky tv installations engineers who were trying to explain to me why they couldn't possibly connect up Sky as they assumed I had got preperatory stuff wrong, and told them were lazy fecking beggars who needed to man up and just get on with the job. They kind of sprung to attention, went very silent, and completed the job without any reference to what had gone before.

Tip - this does not work with professionals, such as surveyors who try to silence you by telling you "stop talking too fast". These ones you have to sue in the small claims court to teach them the error of their ways.

[SouthStar]

Why does it bother you so much, its a error on their part not yours and its not like they are going to be in your life forever. Just let them crack on, if the job isnt up to standard then pull them up on it.

Our workmen dont speak English so I just get out of the way and hope for the best!

[Mouseface]

You could always try to play up to their expectations?

Stand there, filing your nails, full face of make-up on, hair done, ridiculously high heels on, holding a small, yapping dog in your giant oversized Gucci clutch bag, asking what that big, long stick is for?

No?

DISCLAIMER - I have no idea what a 'WAG' should or should not look like. Nor do I care.

[bozemum]

If it was just an attitude thing it wouldn't bother me. The problem is that often my husband comes home and says, why have they not finished this properly. And I say, I tried to tell them to do it properly but they didn't listen.

I'm a wimp really. I ask them over and over throughout the job to make various changes and what they do is never quite what I ask for. I just get sick of trying to ask nicely and I don't like confrontation so when they start asking for payment, I just write them a cheque to get rid of them.

I do need to be more assertive, but I am a wimp!

I'm thinking in future I might just say my husband has the money so you'll have to ask him to pay you.

[saidthespiderwithahorridsmile]

lol, they treat me like their mother

[missorinoco]

I find it infuriating that workmen find it appropriate to patronize me. Fine, I am not a builder/electrician/engineer, but you know what, I have a brain, and if you visited me professionally I could also blind you with technical jargon to make you feel stupid and me seemingly look clever. Luckily for you, I am not on a power trip and would not do this to you.

Rant over.

I know what you mean OP, although not even a blind workman would be able to mistake me for a WAG. Way too unglamorous.

[heleninahandcart]

Be direct. Very direct, and then direct some more. Be polite but firm, no fluffy words, no 'would you mind very much' etc. No 'because' explanations unless absolutely necessary. Do not get drawn into their drama (there's always some builder problem). Try to make tea at set times. Forget about impressing with your brain, they are not interested.

Exude strength, be prepared for sighing, moaning. Ignore it.

Say I want this to be like this... Draw on the wall if things like sockets need to be placed (plans or notes get ignored). Repeat I want it like this please. Never mind if this feels rude, you are being direct.

[BlueCat2010]

Why on earth are you paying them if you are not happy with the work done?

If they start asking for money, inspect the job and tell them exactly what you are not happy about and the fact that they will need to rectify it before you release the money!

[bozemum]

Thanks. I def need to try and be direct.
i always use phrases like 'would you mind very much...' and it ends up seeming like they are doing me a favour!

they're always full of dramas - one said he'd had his wallet stolen....