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to call myslef a SAHM even though i work

(10 Posts)
MountainDew Wed 01-Jun-11 15:59:39

I work evenings which means i get to spend all day with my young children. As such i go to various groups and have lovely days out with them. When i meet other parents and we are arranging play dates etc I say I can do any time. Generally they assume I am a SAHM. I feel like I am anyway, (start work at 6 and bedtime is 7 so I'm not missing much!) And I tend to forget I work, unless someone asks me outright and then - remember. So I don't correct them.

But should I?

I felt quite awkward last week when one of my DS's friend's mum said 'I am glad I'm not the only SAHM'. Of course I said 'actually i work evenings but feel like a SAHM'. To which she got a teensy bit huffy and said 'well that's not the same AT ALL'.

Isn't it?
And more to the point, why does it bother me?

IWantToBeAFairyWhenIGrowUp Wed 01-Jun-11 16:02:05

I call myself a SAHM even though I work while DD is at school.

I am at home whenever she is at home.

YANBU and your friend is sad if she gets 'huffy' about it.

BooyHoo Wed 01-Jun-11 16:02:44

it's up to you what you call yourself. i am a heck of a lot more than a mum never mind a SAHM so i i chose not to label myself as either.

belgo Wed 01-Jun-11 16:05:14

Just say that you work part time in the evenings. You don't need to label yourself as a SAHM or a WOHM. I find it odd when someone who works half a day a week calls themselves a WOHM.

chicletteeth Wed 01-Jun-11 16:07:35

Call yourself what you like but I fail to see your need to label yourself, or your friends need to get huffy over it.

katvond Wed 01-Jun-11 16:13:53

I class myself as both,I work from home as a dressmaker when I get the work,other times I work for other people,anything to make ends meet. I don't like labels so don't class myself as anything,I am just me.

youngjoly Thu 02-Jun-11 10:37:13

I'd say I work part time - because you do.

I teach and work 3 days, split over 5 mornings, so that at the moment, I mostly work when my children are at school (and because I teach, I get the holidays off too). My eldest DD spends about 4 hours a week away from me (2 hours of which she is in gym club, so wouldn't be with her then anyway).

I have several "SAHM" friends who work one afternoon at the weekend, or evenings, and do find it a bit hmm when they say that they don't work so they can be with their children, but in fact they spend less time with their children than I do!

EssexGurl Thu 02-Jun-11 10:46:51

Why does it matter? You are a mum and you are there for your kids. I hate this labelling of people and the stigma attached with either working or not working.

shirleyshortcut Thu 02-Jun-11 10:52:08

I hate this labelling of people

me too

IAmTheCookieMonster Thu 02-Jun-11 10:54:47

I do about 15 hours a week in a pub, mostly evenings when he is asleep, i think of myself as a SAHM.

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