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to suggest that my sister could cover boobs with a scarf....

(494 Posts)
chocolatehobnobs Tue 31-May-11 22:13:33

Sister has 2 DC 2 and 5 months. I am pg. She reckons she is the world expert on child rearing, never afraid to comment on other's parenting. We went for lunch at the weekend at Wagamama's. Staff were lovely and helpful offered highchair etc sis was vocally demanding a certain table and being a bit precious IMO. We were sitting next to 6 young guys (same table) Sis whips boob out and BF baby. I (and our neigbours who were eating) could see boob, dripping nipple. When she announced loudly that baby had bitten nipple I offered to pass her a scarf to save the boys blushes. She refused and said she was often complimented on being a good role model for BF. AIBU to want to do things differently or is she right?

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 31-May-11 22:15:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy Tue 31-May-11 22:15:55

Sounds like an exhibitionist who is trying to get an excuse to run to the Daily Mail claiming she has been discriminated against.

Booandpops Tue 31-May-11 22:16:43

Is this a wind up? Dripping nipples eugh

candr Tue 31-May-11 22:17:26

I plan to breast feed myself but still feel the need to be aware of others dicomfort and you can be subtle whilst doing it. It sounds like she likes the attention but I would have been a bit embarrassed myself let alone the poor guys - or you get the kind of attention you don't want from them in front of your kids. You don't need yr boobs flapping about to be a good role model

LordOfTheFlies Tue 31-May-11 22:19:59

Well as long as she doesn't complain if people stare.
If she defends the right to whip them out then people defend their right to look.
(Although most people don't stare TBH)

SuchProspects Tue 31-May-11 22:20:10


Babies like having a scarf thrown over them while they eat about as much as you do. Your sister's loudness and the glimps of her nipple would pale into the background compared to the fuss of a baby who does not like a scarf.

If you think your sister is a pretentious git who makes a spectacle of herself don't go out to lunch with her. But complaining about someone BFing without using a scarf is obviously just bunfight fodder.

diggingintheribs Tue 31-May-11 22:21:52

what everyone else said re the bf

I would also make sure you don't let her boss you about when baby is here. There is nothing worse than someone else telling you the best way to look after your baby. No matter what celebs like Myleene etc want you to believe, just because you are a Mum it does not mean you are an expert in how to mother all babies (just like not all pregnancies and births are the same)

"I am his mother and I will do what I believe to be best" you can add "now sod off" if it was a particularly impertinent suggestion

chocolatehobnobs Tue 31-May-11 22:22:04

Candr _ that's how I felt about it too

ginhag Tue 31-May-11 22:24:08

In answer to your question, if you want to do things differently then do. But actually, bf in public without anyone ever seeing a hint of nipple (oooo new dulux paint colour smile) is sometimes hard. And if she is not bothered then there is no need for anyone else to be.

The 'dripping nipple' comment was a bit unnecessary, is kind of what happens when you bf and the thought of friends/family/the people you don't expect to get all 'ooo icky!!' about it commenting in this way is a bit depressing.

Goblinchild Tue 31-May-11 22:26:23

Wagamama's in Brighton? Happens all the time. grin
She's a bit of an uninhibited sort and you are not. Both are fine, but YABU to want her to behave like you would in those circumstances.
When you have your baby, she can buy you a nice scarf. I had several and fed my very happy baby on planes, trains and automobiles as well as in shopping centres and no one paid any attention. DD certainly didn't care what was over her provided her mouth was full.

ginhag Tue 31-May-11 22:27:34

Candr... Actually it's not always that easy. Sometimes your baby likes to scream, paw at you, bob on and off the breast, and generally make you look utterly VISIBLE to the entire world. May be worth knowing in advance.

OTheHugeManatee Tue 31-May-11 22:28:26

Arf at Dulux 'Hint of Nipple' grin

noid Tue 31-May-11 22:28:58

It depends how long it was for. If anyone bfs in public, there'll be an inevitable microsecond of it. If she sat there norks akimbo for five minutes then YANBU

OmniaParatus Tue 31-May-11 22:29:16

Perhaps your sister would have trouble latching on the baby or keeping it latched on if she used a scarf? If the baby is biting he or she might be going through a fussy phase and messing about with a scarf may have made it harder for her.

She might have been a bit overly assertive because she feels bad about having a problem with it- I remember being a bit prickly when bf DD as I felt that after bf DS1 I should know everything, but I didn't!
I have never used a scarf because I found it a faff and felt it drew attention to my bf rather than the other way round- I have always just pulled up my top just enough and put the baby on. I can't be too bad at it because I once bf at the same table as my aunt and she didn't notice until I told her.

If her attitude in general annoys you though, I would avoid lunch with her. There is nothing worse than a self professed parenting expert around constantly when you have your first baby!

hairylights Tue 31-May-11 22:31:10


TeddyMcardle Tue 31-May-11 22:31:27

Sounds like you see breastfeeding itself as showing off, is this your first? Babies can be a whole lot more eww then a dripping nipple, and yeah they do sometimes bite, and sometimes pull themselves off. Such is life.
Baby was eating, if people don't want to look then they don't have to.

yukoncher Tue 31-May-11 22:34:10


I think it's a fantastic thing for women to do, to proudly breastfeed in public.
And try and help fix our society's warped veiws on it.
To help try and normalise it.

The amount of young mums I've known who've chose to bottle feed because they'd be too afraid to BF in public is horrendous.
For people to feel that women shouldn't openly breastfeed is such a terrible thing in that it pressures women to not even breastfeed at all, or makes them feel ashamed or embarassed.

I would have thanked her for breastfeeding in public.
If only to try and fix up everyone else's warped and unhealthy veiws on it.
And show them it's normal and to get real.

Meglet Tue 31-May-11 22:35:42


And I really doubt those boys were blushing. So what if they see her boobs? You sister is a big girl, it's up to her.

yukoncher Tue 31-May-11 22:36:23

Babies puke up, smell like poo, have ear peircing screams.
But omg, there was a bit was milk on her breast? The milk that is the most healthiest substance known to human beings, how offensive!

yukoncher Tue 31-May-11 22:36:58

But I forgive you, product of this sad society

activate Tue 31-May-11 22:38:35

yes you're unreasonable

BooyHoo Tue 31-May-11 22:38:50


do you think those boys would have been uncomfortable if her boobs were on the front cover of FHM?

why, when it is legal for them to see boobs in any newsagents, should your sister have to cover her breasts in order to feed her child? why?

petisa Tue 31-May-11 22:39:21

YABU. Nipples do drip ya know, and so what? They often spray too, OP, all over the place, when you're just starting and your supply is still overenthusiastic.

YABU, the "poor guys" weren't being forced to look. If my dd bites me I scream, so thankfully she hasn't done it in public. If your sister annoys you so much don't have lunch with her. And if she's a parenting "expert", avoid her until your baby is at least 3 18 yo.wink

PacificDogwood Tue 31-May-11 22:39:28

Your choice to do it differently when the time comes wink.

'Hint of Nipple' - surely that is more F+B than plain of Dulux??

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