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to want to plant my garden myself...when I want not when he wants?

(11 Posts)
maxomummy Tue 31-May-11 19:31:36

The garden has always been my domain because I love to watch things grow and because my DH doesn't like gardening. Of course wheile pregnant with my twins, now 13 months, and when they were born I've let things go a bit...ok a lot but now he's bought a tree and wants to plant it out the front where everyone will see it and it's horrible! He doesn't even know what it is or whether it will have massive roots or anything, he just bought it cos it was cheap! Now he's got a mood on because I told him I don't like it and to stop interfering in my garden! Am I unreasonable? I have so few projects of my own, I'm still picking myself up following the arrival of my girls and now it feels like he's trying to take over the one thing I can just do when I feel like it.

Snuppeline Tue 31-May-11 19:36:26

Erm, does he not pay mortgage? If he does then he owns the garden too surely grin

I know its annoying having projects blasted by OH's bad taste but less you write out a contract stating where OH's influence and taste may be expressed then there's not much you can do. <Looks across mismatched furniture and strange colour scheme's of own house and so so wish I had aforementioned contract in place...sob>

GooGooMuck Tue 31-May-11 19:39:37

YANBU, Tell him how you feel emotionally about it.

If you do not have many avenues to express yourself, then the garden is important to you for that.

If he wants to get involved, then discuss it. He shouldn't just plant stuff.

However, worst case scenario, you should be able to arrange for it to die fairly swiftly.

redexpat Tue 31-May-11 19:44:47

Oooh I hear you! Could you leave it in the pot saying you'll get round to it, and then poison it when he's at work? Oh look it didn't survive...

On the plus side, it sounds like a misguided attempt to help.

Snuppeline Tue 31-May-11 19:49:05

Haha - yes, poison, brilliant idea! <looking around to see what damage a big glass of red wine might do...>

MadameOvary Tue 31-May-11 19:49:30

Tell him you want to find out what it is - mention "companion gardening" and all the complex stuff that he will tune out after 5 seconds, and pay lip service. After that, you can do what you want with it grin

PfftTheMagicDragon Tue 31-May-11 19:51:08

I would tell him that if he can't name it and he doesn't know how it grows or what it nee ds, then he has no business planting it.

GooGooMuck Tue 31-May-11 21:07:24



maxomummy Tue 07-Jun-11 13:13:11

Thanks all, agree with GooGooMuck though re abuse of wine, not sure I'll be doing that one although ketchup or similar might work on the mismatched furniture! Waited til he came to apologise then told him how I feel and said that I don't like the bloody tree and won't plant it. He sort of understood and it's still in its pot outside the front window. Not sure what to do next...cut the grass probably is about a foot high blush

PandaNot Tue 07-Jun-11 13:18:16

YANBU. One thing I was looking forward to when we moved to a house with a garden was looking after the garden. However my DH decided he quite liked gardening whilst I was occupied looking after DD, newborn at the time. Now we have carrots and onions growing in the front garden FFS...I'll swap for your tree!

maxomummy Wed 08-Jun-11 13:08:04

Thanks Panda, sounds awful to have all veg everywhere :-( My DH asked me again last night what I'm going to do with the tree as it can't stay in its pot any longer. I don't see why not, it would at the garden centre and anyway I'm at work until Friday and I'm at the pictures tonight so no time to do anything at the mo. He just can't get the message, I'll do it when I'm ready!

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