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up shit creek without a paddle.... Urgent help/advice needed please.

(264 Posts)
HolyFail Tue 31-May-11 15:45:16

Regular poster with recent namechange here....

A friend of mine was seeing this guy - a lot older than her, he is very well off and as a birthday present offered to buy her veneers (sp*)

So she went to a dental clinic, had her actual teeth filed down to pins and is wearing temp veneers until her appointment next week.

1st payment was made (cash, by him)
2nd payment is due next week before the job is complete (thousands of pounds due)

He has dumped her! And told her to sort it out herself - she is a young woman with no money - sure she works, but is not earning enough to pay for this and she has requested to pay on finance but she has a crap credit rating so has therefore been declined!

In addition to "How could you be so stupid" What can I advise her here? Does anyone have any experience in this kind of thing?

Any suggestions welcome? We've been through how stupid she has been, we just need to find a way to sort this?

MissVerinder Tue 31-May-11 15:48:02

Holy hell! See if the dentist will help her out with a payment plan? Or if it was meant to be a gift, call a solicitor? Poor thing, I really feel for her.

schobe Tue 31-May-11 15:48:34

He sounds lovely.

Turn up at an NHS dentist or A&E and plead poverty? Or wait until the temps start pinging off then turn up? Not sure that will do her much good tbh.

Not a lot she can do really - start saving I guess.

Alibabaandthe80nappies Tue 31-May-11 15:49:40

Jesus Christ confused What an utter arsehole!

I have no advice I'm sorry sad

SummerRain Tue 31-May-11 15:50:46

does she have a credit card at all? Not ideal to have to pay back all the interest and have the credit card maxed out but better than no teeth.

DirtyMartini Tue 31-May-11 15:52:42


BaronessOrczy Tue 31-May-11 15:53:53

OMG. Solicitor? Maybe the dentist will do a plan? Can she get a loan from the bank?

Am speechless. That's despicable behaviour on his part.

ShoutyHamster Tue 31-May-11 15:54:19


I assume ALL avenues of funding have been explored? Parents, any possibility of any secured loan?

How long was she with him and how much were they 'in' each others' lives? As in, does she know his parents/friends, can she shame him into honouring his commitment here through anyone else whose opinion is important to him?

Then there is the dentist - I take it the refusal to let her pay on finance is from them - the next avenue to explore might be to hope to persuade them to let her do this, somehow - she will be left disfigured - any hope of throwing herself on their mercy?

Bloody hell!!!

FlamingFannyDrawers Tue 31-May-11 15:55:01

Bloody Hell! What a cruel thing to do to someone. Wanker. I have no advice sorry. If her credit rating is poor I don't rate her chances. The only other option is borrowing it from family/friends but I don't imagine its going to be cheap.

I must say though if i ever wanted revenge on someone this is a great idea.

HolyFail Tue 31-May-11 15:55:28

She has no credit card, my first response was "Get a loan" but she has applied for 4 different loans today and been declined on all of them. I've told her to stop applying because a refusal also affects your credit history!

She has only been working for 2 months, so has no record of a regular income either (I can see why the credit companies have declined her tbh)

But having no teeth!!! Oh my goodness, this is awful for her.

I have suggested speaking to the private dentist - surely he has a duty of care towards her? Then perhaps she can give him a personal guarantee or something to pay over the next few months...

scurryfunge Tue 31-May-11 15:58:27

Can she get an advance at work?
Sell her car?

LordOfTheFlies Tue 31-May-11 16:02:11

One way or another the dentists will want their money because the expensive work (ie having the veneers made and all the prep work) has been done.
Also she's in the situation of no going back.

Either dental plan or bank manager, I would try the dental-plan first.Its in their interest to get their money.
Unfortunately unless she can prove he was going to pay I don't think theres any legal loopholes. Maybe thats why he paid cash.No number to trace.

HolyFail Tue 31-May-11 16:05:40

Good point LordOfTheFlies.

We will use that as our bargaining tool, the fact that they may have already done the work and they may as well be paid albeit later than first thought

I will be attending the dentist next week with her.

She is so naive, I cant believe this has happened!

FlamingFannyDrawers Tue 31-May-11 16:06:55

Poor girl, I really feel for her. I hope they let her set up a payment plan.

vmcd28 Tue 31-May-11 16:08:50

god, poor soul! Altho I wouldnt say she's necessarily been naive - unless theres a lot more to this than it seems

FlamingFannyDrawers Tue 31-May-11 16:11:36

I think if it were my friend i'd try and speak to the ex boyfriend and try and appeal to his kinder side (although sounds like he doesn't have one) Even if she arranges to pay him back monthly, its worth a try.

HolyFail Tue 31-May-11 16:12:08

vmcd28 - they've only been together a few months, and certainly not the sort of man I'd like my dd to be in contact with.

There is a lot more to the story, IMO he is a bully - and this is the last straw in a long line of odd behaviour!

Jaspants Tue 31-May-11 16:12:40

Poor woman! I think if the money isn't readily obtainable from anywhere else then Flaming's idea is probably the only option

CandiceMariePratt Tue 31-May-11 16:13:23

poor girl, that's awful for her, what a bastard

KatieWatie Tue 31-May-11 16:14:55

Good Grief, how awful!

I don't know if this will help but a few years ago I had expensive crowns fitted. I joined BUPA Dental just before it, and left soon after, but I managed to claim 25% of the costs of the crowns once I produced the receipts with no problems at all. I don't know if this will be too late for her though.

Does she have an overdraft facility she could extend? Any gold or other expensive stuff she can sell or pawn?

I think the first thing she needs to do though is sort out a payment plan with the dentist and get down the CAB as well.

babybarrister Tue 31-May-11 16:15:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HolyFail Tue 31-May-11 16:17:28

babybarrister - yes, good point!

darleneoconnor Tue 31-May-11 16:20:49

Who signed the contract with the dentist for the work?

TattyDevine Tue 31-May-11 16:22:45

Christ! How much money is it?

Bloody hell I'd be writing her a cheque, its only money, but I don't suppose you can stretch to it or you would have.

Not much help but big supportive vibes and please let us know what happens particularly if she has a victory!

springbokscantjump Tue 31-May-11 16:23:03

Oh jeez that is terrible. I'd second making an appt with the dentist and pleading for mercy. I'd go armed with her last two paychecks and her contract if it stipulates her salary. In addition, is there anyone who is willing to act as her guarantor (?sp)? Usually they like someone with a good credit score themselves and/or homeowner. She could then have the back up of the dentist knowing that if she didn't pay, they had recourse to someone else.

I am being spectacularly nosy, but exactly how much is it??

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