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To be upset with my sister about this?

(19 Posts)
Moulesfrites Tue 31-May-11 12:11:22

It was my ds's christening at the weekend, and I had asked my sister to do a reading. She agreed, but then the day before told me she didn't agree with the sentiments of the reading....it was too late to ask someone else to do it and her name was already in the order of service, so she did it anyway, here...

www.thedorothymaynurseryschool.org.uk/If-A-Child-Lives-With.doc

Her argument being that our parents read the times whereas she is a lefty hmm. I think is shows incredible naivety and arrogance on her part. Does she think it is just a fluke that our parents have had 3 children who have grown up to be responsible, loving, well rounded people when other people are disasters! I think I owe a great deal to my parents and in the past 4 months have been overawed by the sense of parental responsibility since having my ds. I think she is being narrow minded to think about this in terms of her political alleigances, whereas I think the reading is more to do with the bigger picture - love, patience, Honesty etc.

Should I say anything to her? I am quite worked up about is?

FoxyRevenger Tue 31-May-11 12:13:42

I'm not sure I understand what you are upset about? (genuinely)

She did the reading didn't she?

Is it that she doesn't agree with the content of the poem? Do you really care?

Sorry, just not sure I've got this straight.

AuntieMonica Tue 31-May-11 12:17:17

She did the reading, against her own objections, but you still want to take it up with her?

I think she was kind enough to put her own feelings aside (however skewed you think they may be, they are HERS) so you should leave it.

Moulesfrites Tue 31-May-11 12:18:42

Yes, she did the reading. I am upset that she doesn't think that parenting makes any difference to how a person turns out. It seems insulting to our own parents and also to my own attempts to bring up my ds.

millie30 Tue 31-May-11 12:19:12

Not sure why you're upset with her. She is entitled to her views and still did the reading because it was important to you.

DoMeDon Tue 31-May-11 12:20:32

YANBU to be upset. She showed bad timing to bring it up so late and the day wasn't about her. Her opinion is drivel but it is hers. I would state your case and leave it.

worraliberty Tue 31-May-11 12:21:09

To be fair parenting doesn't always make a difference to how someone turns out.

Some grow up to be responisble human beings because of their parenting and some despite it.

AuntieMonica Tue 31-May-11 12:21:32

Moules, honestly, you're overthinking this.

i have VERY differing ideas on parenting, from my parents and my 3 sisters. it's the one major taboo we've all agreed to never pick up on between us.

is your sister a parentoo?

AuntieMonica Tue 31-May-11 12:22:23

blush parentoo? is that like a kangaroo?

parent TOO!

Moulesfrites Tue 31-May-11 12:22:37

No shes not Monica

redexpat Tue 31-May-11 12:23:28

YANBU. I'm a lefty loud and proud and I don't see anything wrong with that. All sounds quite sensible to me.

FoxyRevenger Tue 31-May-11 12:25:10

Does it really really matter that you and her have differing views on parenting?

AuntieMonica Tue 31-May-11 12:27:02

<whispers> then i think you've found the reason why she has those ideas wink

if you thought enough of you sister to ask her to be a part of the christening, i'd put this one down to experience and move on

smile

FWIW, my (then) childless DSIS told another DSIS that child rearing was easy, like training a puppy - she has had a HUGE slice of humble pie and now we all laugh about it wink

Moulesfrites Tue 31-May-11 12:27:03

No, I suppose it doesn't. I just find her opinion that parenting doesn't matter hard to swallow.

EggyAllenPoe Tue 31-May-11 12:47:45

i don't see why being a lefty would stop you from liking that reading.

it's awesomely twee though...

Silver1 Tue 31-May-11 12:53:53

yanbu
But I would give it a day or two and you probably wont feel like saying anything, I have seen that poem before and it is a lovely verse, I am not sure how your sister managed to turn her gripe with your parents newspaper into an objection to reading that poem.
Her timing for her tantrum was pretty poor, does she have a lot of emotional stuff on at the moment?
As others have said, if and when she becomes a parent she will be eating ample pie.

KatieMiddleton Tue 31-May-11 13:20:31

In the nicest possible way you need to get a grip. You can't be upset about someone else's views. You can only control your own.

My own DSis has asked me to read something at her wedding that's not really my thing. Will suggest something else and then do whatever she wants.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Tue 31-May-11 13:43:12

Some of the 'disasters' you refer to may have had parents much like yours, but their attempts to imbue their offspring with similar values may have met with abject failure through no fault of their own.

The fact that you and your sister have sprung from the same loins but hold differing views of parenting may support the theory that nature is greater than nurture. Or it may simply be that you are overwhelmed by the enormity of bringing a new life into the world, and that this is a state she has yet to experience.

As has been pointed out, your sister put aside her feelings for the occasion which surely deserves your thanks and appreciation rather than your condemnation.

It seems to me that YABU, and over-sensitive and over-emotional. This is understandable given that you have recently given birth, but being unnecessarily judgemental of others can have unpleasant and long-lasting consequences.

EricNorthmansMistress Tue 31-May-11 14:09:18

I completely don't understand what you are upset about. Are you upset because she doesn't agree with the content of the reading? It's a bit weird to not agree with that, it's fairly common sense. But she's not a parent, and you are a sensitive new parent of a baby, so it's hardly surprising that you will have different views on parenting. Does she think her parents didn't shape her at all? Because she's left wing? Again, a bit naive but not something to be upset about.

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