To think this about parents

[SunshineisSorry]

10 things that piss me off about parents and their children.

1. No, sorry, your pfb is not the centre of MY world and i have no desire to here about his new tooth/bf success or disaster/texture of its food etc ad nauseum.
   

1. Don't be bashing my ankles with your fecking phil and teds with a baby in the luggage compartment.
   

1. Do not please let your child come runnig up to my dog and put his face in my dogs face and scare the poor thing.
   

1. Having to sit at a table in a cafe after a family in which parents think its ok to have a table picnic and then just leave their shite behind for the staff to clear up
   

1. I am an adult, i do not want to have to rush what i say to you just so your child can tell you urgently that they have just found another stone/bit of paper/seen a bird
   

1. I dont want to have to smile sweetly while your children are being obnoxious and say things like, its nice to see them expressing themselves freely - it isn't, keep your brats under control in public
   

Oh.......fuck it, i cant think of ten.......im just no good at this sort of thing, feel free to add your own. Oh and please don't flame me, im joking innit.

[SunshineisSorry]

here = hear!! jeez

[MonstaMunch]

1. an entire minute by minute account of your conception, pregnancy and labour is not enthralling for anyone but you :)

[takethisonehereforastart]

Have you been reading the dog owner thread?

[MissPenteuth]

Your problem isn't with parents, it's with obnoxious/selfish/rude/inconsiderate people who may also happen to be parents.

[SunshineisSorry]

takethieonehereforastart - shhhhh

[LordOfTheFlies]

1. Just because you are too disorganised to get yourself out the house on time don't endanger my DCs lives by tearing down the road(very narrow ,cars both sides and on the corners) when we are trying to cross. If anything happens you'll be even later,won't you

[worraliberty]

8. I don't wish to sit in a cafe trying to eat, while your snotty toddler kneels back to front in its seat, leans over my shoulder and annoys the hell out of me...pointing to everything on my plate while you sit there chatting to your mates oblivious to it

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

1. Keep out of my space! At ALL times! If I want your DCs in it, I'll ask.

[MonstaMunch]

10. If you are gonna be precious about people talking to/looking at them, keep them in the house 24/7

[WoodRose]

9. Please take your used, unbagged nappies home with you. Do not put them on top of the overflowing bin in the park. Do not leave them where you happened to change your child.

[WoodRose]

Whoops, looks like I have been relegated to no.11!

[SunshineisSorry]

12 do not assume i want to bounce your child on my knee, look, he doesn't like it, hes heavy, ive done this, im enjoying not having to do this anymore - its your child, you bounce him

[MonstaMunch]

13. If you insist your precious ickle one can walk and talk at three months, dont be offended if i smirk and even LOL :)

[Bogeyface]

12. Just because YOU are happy to allow your untamed brats to run riot in any given situation, dont assume that I am too and encourage them to "go and play" with my children. If they are sitting quietly its because they either a) want to or b) have been asked to and can actually behave appropriately.
    
    this in particular to the parents of the brat that caused mayhem at the formal meal of a wedding we went to where I was so proud of my tribe for behaving really well, but the brat kept trying to pull them off their chairs to help her destroy the table decorations, whilst being ignored by her parents as they got pissed, natch

[Bogeyface]

Alright 14 then!

[theowlwhowasafraidofthedark]

You lot sound like miserable gits.
I love bouncing other people's children on my knee - providing I can hand them back of course...

[VFVF]

15. No I do not want to practise changing a nappy with your child. I'll pick it up soon enough when DC is born.

[SunshineisSorry]

You mean you wont be going on a parenting course VFVF shakes head

[hugeleyoutnumbered]

[jumpingjackhash]

VFVF - you beat me to that one! Why, oh WHY would I want to change someone else's kid's shitty nappy?

[DontCallMePeanut]

15. Oh whoopty fuck, PFB is sleeping through at 6 days old. It's a one fucking off, and you'll be posting on facebook at 2am tomorrow morning, asking where you went wrong.
    
    
16. Yes, it's nice you're proud of DC, (and PFB mums are worse for this) but please. Do you really have to clog my news feed with photo albums "charlie at 2 months" "Freddie at 10 years, 6 months"
    
    
17. I do NOT want to hear about your PFB's bowel movements. It doesn't matter HOW much I love you.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

16. Your babies are not your possessions, they're not toys and for you to feel smug about contributing to the human race, you have to teach them useful things, to be a good citizen, so that they are indeed a contribution to society, not a drain.

[Rapaccioli]

Please put your children in the garden or kitchen when I visit. I don't like them, I don't want them climbing all over me, slobbering on me and nor do I want bits of toddler hair or biscuit on my clothes. I'm a guest, you should be considerate of my needs and wants so lock your children in another room.

[DontCallMePeanut]

OK, 16, 17, 18...

Sorry, dear...

[SunshineisSorry]

17. Don't assume because i have children of my own, that i actually like children in general - i dont