I don't have DC's yet (hopefully in a couple of years)
I work with people with special needs. I have attended endless training courses on crisis management, dealt effectively with toddler-style tantrums from teenagers, preved endlessly that I can keep calm and use a low slow tone of voice, quenched silly behaviour with just "the look", used hundred's of strategies to promote positive behaviour...
I'm so going to be the world's shittest Mum, aren't I? Shouting, swearing, begging for a bottle glass of wine at 6pm, sending them to their room for hours, buying them fruitshoots and chocolate instead of dealing with the meltdown when I say no
No, you sound like a perfect mum. I just went with the flow, and instinct,had many crap moments and I've got a brilliant 16 year old son. Much as I love mumsnet, there's so much advice out there for young parents I'm surprised you can get through the day without feeling guilty.
But that's the thing I love about MN - knowing it actually doesn'treallymatter if I don't hand-knit my prospective babies every garment and play baby Mozart to them in the womb.
I feel much less scared about being a mum than I did before I found MN. In all seriousness, I was terrified I wouldn't be able to break away from my own mum's example, and I'd end up screaming at and hitting my kids because being a mum would make me lose my temper so I couldn't control myself. MN helped me realize that actually, there's no reason I would do that and no reason I'd ruin children's lives by not being perfect ... because you don't have to be perfect.
Ah yes, but I ought to win World's Best Mum prizes and give masterclasses to all the middle-class yummy mummy types. I've got all this training y'see...
It's totally different when it's 24/7 and, while it's not that I don't care about the people I work with, I can see myself finally learning to shout when I'm angry, instead of hiding in the loos for 5 minutes to cry