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to have incredibly low expectations of myself as a future parent?

(16 Posts)
purplepidjin Mon 30-May-11 16:16:30

I don't have DC's yet (hopefully in a couple of years)

I work with people with special needs. I have attended endless training courses on crisis management, dealt effectively with toddler-style tantrums from teenagers, preved endlessly that I can keep calm and use a low slow tone of voice, quenched silly behaviour with just "the look", used hundred's of strategies to promote positive behaviour...

I'm so going to be the world's shittest Mum, aren't I? Shouting, swearing, begging for a bottle glass of wine at 6pm, sending them to their room for hours, buying them fruitshoots and chocolate instead of dealing with the meltdown when I say no grin

Glitterknickaz Mon 30-May-11 16:18:06

grin

you'll be fab because you're a realist, you know that it may not go to plan and SN may arise....

BooyHoo Mon 30-May-11 16:18:21

nope, you will be on par with me then so both of us cant be the shittest!!

Snuppeline Mon 30-May-11 16:18:22

Yes you are going to be a very shitty mum indeed. But not to worry, you'll be in first class company here on MN. Nearly five pm thank god so have a glass of wine grin

worraliberty Mon 30-May-11 16:19:01

Depends really. Work and Parenthood are two very seperate things, even if you do work with other people's children.

COCKadoodledooo Mon 30-May-11 16:20:45

Lower expectations are definitely easier to attain grin

BooyHoo Mon 30-May-11 16:21:44

totally agree COCK grin

usualsuspect Mon 30-May-11 16:21:45

I think you will be a normal mum,just like me thousands of others

Latootle Mon 30-May-11 16:23:45

if you aim low thats where you'll reach. I'm sure you will be fine.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 30-May-11 16:26:55

No, you sound like a perfect mum.
I just went with the flow, and instinct,had many crap moments and I've got a brilliant 16 year old son.
Much as I love mumsnet, there's so much advice out there for young parents I'm surprised you can get through the day without feeling guilty.

LRDTheFeministDragon Mon 30-May-11 16:28:22

grin You and me both, purple.

But that's the thing I love about MN - knowing it actually doesn't really matter if I don't hand-knit my prospective babies every garment and play baby Mozart to them in the womb.

I feel much less scared about being a mum than I did before I found MN. In all seriousness, I was terrified I wouldn't be able to break away from my own mum's example, and I'd end up screaming at and hitting my kids because being a mum would make me lose my temper so I couldn't control myself. MN helped me realize that actually, there's no reason I would do that and no reason I'd ruin children's lives by not being perfect ... because you don't have to be perfect.

purplepidjin Mon 30-May-11 16:29:46

Ah yes, but I ought to win World's Best Mum prizes and give masterclasses to all the middle-class yummy mummy types. I've got all this training y'see...

It's totally different when it's 24/7 and, while it's not that I don't care about the people I work with, I can see myself finally learning to shout when I'm angry, instead of hiding in the loos for 5 minutes to cry grin

Orchidskeepdying Mon 30-May-11 17:03:58

I don't get it? Why would you decided that you are going to be the worst mum?

purplepidjin Mon 30-May-11 17:08:08

I haven't!!! It's more about other people's expectations of me - I reckon I'll just kinda get on with things like normal people everybody else

Orchidskeepdying Mon 30-May-11 17:22:03

OOO I just spotted the other thread and 'get it' hehe

You sound like you'll be fantastic!

purplepidjin Mon 30-May-11 19:36:44

The thread was inspired by that one, yes. But it is also a conversation I've had in RL so not completely a fred about a fred wink

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