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I know I am, but I need to vent....

(11 Posts)
starvinmarvin Sun 29-May-11 22:18:46

I've had a bit of a week, which resulted in me being rushed to hospital in an ambulance on Friday morning after passing out a few times (not alcohol related!!).

One of my DH's uni friends (not a particularly close friend) is up from London and my DH had arranged to go out with him a group of other uni friends over the weekend.

After I got home, I told my dh that it was okay to go out anyway, I went to my sister's and she looked after me. All fine. Then he went out on Saturday night and he's out again tonight. I have sanctioned this each time, but I just would have liked him to have said, no I'll stay in with you because you're still getting over your shock and I'll help put the DC to bed.....

I know I'm being unreasonable because I told him to go (and truth be told, I like my own company) but shouldn't he have been a bit more worried about me?!

I've also found out that all his uni friends who have kids only went out one night of the three!

Ahhhhhhhhh - I feel better now....

Vallhala Sun 29-May-11 22:22:28

YANBU for wanting some support and company.

YABU for not telling DH so because men are stupid and don't read between the lines not mindreaders.

But I'd be miffed too. I hope that you're completely recovered now and that this is the last you'll see of ill health.

barbie007 Sun 29-May-11 22:25:38

Hope you're feeling better. Sometimes men don't have a clue do they!

springydaffs Sun 29-May-11 22:27:57

What a gorgeous post Vallhala!

TheSecondComing Sun 29-May-11 22:28:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jeckadeck Sun 29-May-11 22:33:45

I know exactly what you mean. I sometimes feel unreasonable asking my DH not to go out (because he hasn't been out all week) and just bite my tongue and then end up feeling pissed off and doing all sorts of passive aggressive pissed off stuff the next day. Sometimes you do want someone to unilaterally just decide to stay with you. But I think valhalla is right -- you can't expect people (and men in particular) to read your mind and if you really wanted him to have stayed in you should have said.

DioneTheDiabolist Sun 29-May-11 22:36:41

Are you pissed off because he knew that you wanted him there and yet put you in a position whereby you either sanctioned his evenings out or felt like a bitch?

starvinmarvin Sun 29-May-11 22:39:24

Absolutely agree with all of you.

I think I just want to know he cares and is worried (he's being a bit blase about the whole thing)- not actually stay! In truth, he'd have driven me mad.

But I'll still do all the passive aggressive stuff.......smile

Goofymum Sun 29-May-11 22:40:23

YABU because if you say "it's OK to go out" men will think "yes, she said it's OK to go out". But you know this.
YANBU to hope that he would stay at home with you anyway. smile

Goofymum Sun 29-May-11 22:47:42

If he's anything like my husband he will be thinking, Oh, she seems OK and unphased by that event and he will therefore come across as blase. Of course we all know if it was the other way round and he had been in hospital .......

fairydoll Sun 29-May-11 22:48:26

YANBU but Valhalla is right.You have to spell things out for most men.If you say it is ok to do something, then they will take that at face value.

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