To want to throttle women who talk their kids in REALLY LOUD VOICES

[bbird1]

in public for no apparent reason. It's just bloody annoying. Just pipe down ffs!

[hairfullofsnakes]

hahaha! you are so right! there is a lot of that around! oh no, I am really going to notice it a lot more now and it will irritate me...

I hope I don't do it without realising...

oh no, I think I sometimes may do!

[TattyDevine]

Are the children called Tarquin and Jocasta?

I feel your pain.

[hairfullofsnakes]

probably called Porscia and Jaygo or something like that... [hmmm]

I am seriously worried that I do this sometimes now...

aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

[sticksuphigh]

I only do this when my kid is doing something naughty and I feel like I have to reprimand them publically for the benefit of the microphone,

"no, DD, DON'T touch the cakes"

When I really couldn't give the tiniest of shits if a donught gets covered in two year old snot.

Cover them up properly tesco you wankers.

[mynameisplonker]

Oh I know one of those.

Yes, pipe down is the one was of describing what I'm thinking when she's Over-Parenting in a Very Loud Manner.

"Shut the fuck up you overbearing crass cow" is another ...

[mynameisplonker]

way

[bbird1]

I am sure it is a form of attention seeking - LOOK AT ME AND MY POINTLESS SPROG. Seriously, it does my box in - as do those women who take their kids swimming and make stupid whooping and swishing noises in the water. Like the kid really gives a shit...

[mynameisplonker]

It's definitely an attention seeking thing with the one I know bbird.

Except it's more a case of LOOK AT WHAT A WONDERFUL PARENT I AM, than look at my sprog.

The amount of eye-rolling when she's about is quite amusing.

[Fernie3]

There used to be a woman living near me who we always used to meet going around the corner shop and she would be describing the taste etc of each food to her child (must have been around 3?) as in ohhh look there's a bar of chocolate that would be sweet wouldnt it? Or look some CRUNCHY crisps, this shop was near my daughters school and it was so noticeable that she was actually known around the school even though she didn't have a child at the school herself.

[googoomama]

I had a similar experience today in the supermarket, where the individual bread rolls were. Some bloody yummy mummy and her mother "Oh, darling, get two loose ones so the girls can munch on them on the way round. Not that one darling, those ones. Oops, SORRY, don't mean to be in your way...." etc etc. JUST GET 2 FECKNG ROLLS WILL YOU AND STOP TELLING EVERYONE WHY YOU ARE DOING IT. SOME OF US ARE ON OUR OWN WITH 2 KIDS AND WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS FECKING SUPERMARKET!!!!!
Sorry. I feel slightly better now. If a bit faint.

[Ariesgirl]

Do they do it AWFULLY loudly so that everyone can see how TREMENDOUSLY WELL they are engaging with their offspring, who will grow up to be EXCEPTIONALLY INTELLIGENT because they have had everything EXPLAINED to them?

[noid]

I think I have done this in Tesco.

"No, DS1, not the coffee with the gold lid. The people who make that sell baby milk powder to people in poor countries and tell them it will make their babies strong and clever, and the people don't have clean water to mix with the milk powder and their babies often get sick and sometimes die. Yes, it looks like Nest-luh, but we say Ness-lay. And they can't give their babies breastmilk because once they've stopped for a week or so, they can't start again. So we'll get different coffee."

[petisa]

I probably do this because I talk to my dds in a really loud voice everywhere.

[petisa]

Oh dear reading down this thread I do that in the pool OP

[UnsureRightNow]

I talk pretty much constantly to DD but she is 'high maintenance' and needs constant stimulation. If I stop she gets bored, asks twice as many questions and/or starts playing up.

Some kids need to be engaged more than others I suppose

[minieggfannomore]

"Some kids need to be engaged more than others I suppose"

Ha ha! Is that what they call stealth boasting?

[geminigirl]

I think I do this....my 3YO is so F@"*ing HEEDLESS!!!!! I feel as if I speak to him in capitals all the blooming time!

[geminigirl]

LOL @ Petsia.....I do it for my own enjoyment too...big kid me, for you too....wanna biccie?

[Northernlurker]

I talk to my children all the time, yes even the 4 year old. Exactly how mean spirited do you have to be to bitch about parents talking to tehir children

You'd have loved standing next to me at the school gate the other week. Dd and I had a lengthy conversation about marine wildlife and she explained to me that a whale shark is a filter feeder, then she told me what gills do. Of course she knows all this from Octonauts but don't let that stand in the way of your grumpiness.

[geminigirl]

Northernlurker!!! My 3yo was telling me in public last week about water shortage in India.....thought I was in a parallel universe until I asked him where did he learn about that and his answer was "Auntie Mabel" !! God Bless Auntie Mabel and Pippin R.I.P

[Checkmate]

I talk loudly because I have 4 DC aged 8 and under (soon to be 5 DC age 9 and under) and the noise levels at home are intense. I've just got used to having to have a loud volume.
I talk a lot (yes, even in the supermarket) because I've found that it keeps them all focussed on what we're doing and stops them getting bored (and then naughty). Me talking them all through choosing and weighing some loose fruit each might be irritating on the ear to other customers, but it works for us.

[magicmelons]

Drives me insane, by all means talk to your children but do not put on your teacher voice for all to hear. Mum at Ballet does this, what gives it away is the lack of eye contact between parent and child, mother tends to be gazing off into the distance like she is giving the Soliloquy from Hamlet.

[fearnelinen]

PLeeeeeeease stop bitching about this now. I have 3 times now been accused in public of 'performance parenting' (what a lovely turn of phrase, yes thanks other mothers for making that one up, how supportive of you) because I have to talk to DD in that loud, instructive voice.
She has SEN and struggles with comms and often we have to sign. It's not nice having to explain in the swimming pool changing rooms that I communicate with MY DD in that way for HER benefit and no-one elses. I could not give a shit whether other women think I am a good mum or not!
It still shocks me how many women out there think it is ok to judge someone about whom they know absolutely fuck all.