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AIBU?

So huge party, DH stays in bed!

161 replies

QuackQuackSqueak · 29/05/2011 21:26

Had a huge BBQ (by huge I mean 70 people) at lunch time today. Special occassion so loads of decorations and entertainment to sort of for all the children that came too, games etc. I was making all the food so lots to do. I got up at 6.30 to get started on it all and DH says he wants his lay-in as normal. I couldn't believe it! I have been planning the party for weeks and have done absolutely everything for it! So I just left him to it as I had too much to do to be arguing!

So I got up and moved all the furniture around, blew up balloons, put decorations up (loads of them as it had a theme), vaccumed, got kids dressed and hair done and teeth brushed, gave them breakfast, started making the food etc all whilst looking after our children. My DH got up at 8.30 and made himself breakfast (I hadn't had time for any), sat down to eat it then went for a wash and to get dressed which was again something that I hadn't managed to do. He then cut the veggies and moved the garden furniture and put out some rubbish, so he did do some stuff but it seemed begrudging and a bit humpy. So was really behing schedule and didn't quite get everything done that needed to be but just about enough. Forgot a few bits of food and things and was really stressed. The whole time the guests were here I felt like I was playing catch up.

So I'm really pissed off! He knows this and said I should have got him up earlier and that he only wanted a little lay-in, not as long as he had but how was I supposed to know that! Feel really let down as we ususally do things as a team

OP posts:

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IveAhorseOutside · 29/05/2011 21:31

YABU. If you wanted him you should have woken him.

Georgimama · 29/05/2011 21:33

8.30 is hardly an unreasonable time to get up on a Sunday morning, if you have got people coming for lunch. I thought you were going to say he stayed in bed during the lunch party.

PinkWinged · 29/05/2011 21:34

YABU - you should both have got some stuff done the night before so it wasn't so stressful!

AnyFucker · 29/05/2011 21:35

eh ?

I would have just woken him up, and told him to get his arse in gear

don't be a martyr...it gets you precisely nowhere

Doha · 29/05/2011 21:35

YANBU he was being a selfish prick. he knew what had to be done but was happy for you to get up and do it while you he lay in bed.
TWAT he spoiled your enjoyment of the day. Hope you told him that.

HorseWhisperer · 29/05/2011 21:35

What is she? His mother? Ffs, she managed to wake herself up why could he not?

OP, bravo to you for organising everything - I am sure your guests appreciated it. Your DH behaved was a tool.

fivegomadindorset · 29/05/2011 21:35

YOu sould have got him up.

QuackQuackSqueak · 29/05/2011 21:36

Well when I got out of bed I said "are you getting up then" and he said "no! I want my lay-in!" (he always has a sunday lay-in), I said "are you kidding me?!" and he said "well it's a sunday". He sounded so stroppy I thought there was no way on earth he would get up if I went and asked him. As far as I was concerned he had made his feelings clear. Plus I'm not his bloody mother! He knew we had 70 people coming round in a few hours!

OP posts:

HorseWhisperer · 29/05/2011 21:36

your dh was a tool. Blast.

MrsCampbellBlack · 29/05/2011 21:37

Like Georgi - I assumed from your title he'd stayed in bed during the party so compared to that 8.30am doesn't seem that bad

However I do get why you're annoyed though but did it all go well and everyone have a good time?

70 is a lot to cater for on your own!

AnyFucker · 29/05/2011 21:37

so you are happy to be the work horse while he lays on his arse ?

ok, you have more problems than just this one bbq, don't you ?

fivegomadindorset · 29/05/2011 21:39

Did he want the 70 people over? Maybe he didn't and this was his way to protest.

QuackQuackSqueak · 29/05/2011 21:39

PinkWinged - I did some of the decorations the night before which he helped a bit with and we both did loads of cleaning the day before but it was 70 people! Shit loads to do!

Georgimama - It wasn't exactly people coming for lunch! It was 70 people coming to a party at 12 with food and entertainment for the children which we were doing (games and things).

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bibbitybobbityhat · 29/05/2011 21:40

Did you both agree you wanted to host this enormous party?

I would have been seething with my dh if he invited 70 people here on a Sunday and that in order to make it happen I would have to get up at 6.30am.

I cannot look at that from any angle and see that it would be a positive and enjoyable thing to do.

Pictish · 29/05/2011 21:40

I think 8.30 isn't so bad.

QuackQuackSqueak · 29/05/2011 21:42

fivegomadindorset Well we discussed it ages back and he obviously agreed to it (wouldn't have done it otherwise) but when he finally got up and I told him I was pissed off and felt let down his answer was something along the lines of "I didnt think we should be having the party anyway and it's costing too much" so of course I said that it was way too late to be saying that (this was an hour before people arrived) and was he just not going to help out of protest and because he thought it was too expensive!

OP posts:

redskyatnight · 29/05/2011 21:43

Did you mutually agree to host so many people? Did you discuss in advance who would be responsible for what? Did you get a lie in on Saturday :) ? Sounds like this was your project and DH probably thought that getting up at 8.30 was "good enough" .

ada07 · 29/05/2011 21:43

Also, think yr OP made it sound like he slept thro' the whole BBQ and you were up at the crack of dawn. Not the case. YABU.

QuackQuackSqueak · 29/05/2011 21:43

So got to go. Will be back!

OP posts:

QuackQuackSqueak · 29/05/2011 21:43

Oh and we had to get up at 6.30 anyway because of children being early risers!

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QuackQuackSqueak · 29/05/2011 21:43

That was supposed to be Sorry got to go!

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MonstaMunch · 29/05/2011 21:45

leave the barstard

:)

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Georgimama · 29/05/2011 21:45

You just sound really martyred about the whole thing, frankly, particularly the being "really stressed" and "playing catch up". It doesn't sound much fun for anyone involved.

QuackQuackSqueak · 29/05/2011 21:45

Well I wouldn't call it just my project seeing as it was a party for our childrens joint birthday!

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SarkyLady · 29/05/2011 21:46

On the one hand I'd be really pissed off to be dragged put of bed before 8.30 to help organise a party.

On the other hand I know that if either Dh or I asked the other to do this then we woulddo it.

Tbh if you find big parties this stressful then don't organise them. They are not compulsory :)

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