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Its over and im lost at where to go from here?

(8 Posts)
bloomsinmay Sun 29-May-11 16:48:47

My relationship has broken down and now he's left, we have kids together and its been a long time coming.

I have asked him to move out,he has taken the kids out for the day, he then dropped them home and said I will be sofa hopping untill I can find something more permanent,he had a lift arranged and has now gone.

I want to cry and tbh it was me that said to leave,why do I feel so bad?.

StealthPolarBear Sun 29-May-11 16:51:53

do you have friends or family that can pop round to be with you? You need some support.
You poor thing sad But well done - this was obviously the right thing to do. In a years time you will be looking back glad you took the plunge. You could have been further in, knowing getting him to leave was the right thing to do but finding it even harder because you're another year down the line

blackeyedsusan Sun 29-May-11 16:53:15

not sure... felt similar when I made h leave.. i wanted it to work, even though i knew it wasn't working. it wears off after a bit...

bloomsinmay Sun 29-May-11 16:54:38

Yes I have family but dont want to call them really,he has not taken any clothes so I guess he will be coming back for them as he told me not to lock him out.

What a mess the dcs dont know anything and I dont know how to hide my feelings.

SunshineisSorry Sun 29-May-11 16:59:01

until YOU can find something more permament? Is that a typo or does he propose putting you and his children out of their home?

Of course you want to cry, but do try and stay strong in front of the kids, see if you can get a friend to come round this evening with a bottle of wine or just a box of teabags and have a good ol blub. You are the one who wants him gone, you must have your reasons for this, hold on to that it will keep you strong

bloomsinmay Sun 29-May-11 17:08:37

No its a typo Sunshine sorry,untill he finds something more permanent.

trixie123 Sun 29-May-11 18:53:32

of course you feel awful. regardless of who asked who to leave or how certain you are it is the right thing, its still incredibly sad and upsetting that something that you presumably thought was a permanent thing is over. I left my ex h entirely of my own free will and spent well over a year still feeling VERY emotional an upset about it. 5 years down the line and 2 kids with someone else I still feel sad that my marriage didn't work. You have to let yourself feel this and not mistake the sadness for doubt about your decision. Assuming you thought about it long and hard and had your reasons, they are still valid no matter how sad you feel. It is different in that you will have to keep contact with him wheras my ex and I do not see each other at all but it sounds as though it is pretty civilised so far. You have my sympathies for what will be a tough time but it WILL get better.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sun 29-May-11 19:07:32

When a relationship ends it's natural to grieve for what might have been, or to be moved by compassion for the other party especially if they''ve been displaced from their home, and you should give vent to your feelings as these are a part of the moving on process.

However, if he's asked you not to lock him out and he hasn't taken any clothes or other gear with him, I'd hazard a guess he's off to a pub with a mate and he'll either be back late tonight or sometime tomorrow.

I hope he's taken you seriously and that this is a permanent move for him, otherwise you may have to go through it all over again - and again.

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