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Selfish big sister

(16 Posts)
Mollydollydoll Sun 29-May-11 13:45:08

My first thread on here so be gentle with me.
My dad just called to see how I am and said my sister had called. She's going on holiday next week but she's not saved any money for spending money. She's asked my dad for the money. Now dads 74 so not flush.
I'm a bit pissed off shes asked him, sorry but if she can afford to go on holiday then she should afford the spending money. She was trying to make dad feel very guilty by saying well I can't go then. I'm disgusting she's making him feel bad as she left it too late to save.
AIBU thinking this?

Happymm Sun 29-May-11 13:47:23

YANBU-selfish cow. Surely she's at an age now whereby she knows she has to pay her own way? Has your dad bailed her out before?

outnumbered2to1 Sun 29-May-11 13:54:11

your sister has more cheek than a rhino and more neck than giraffe. Call her up and tell her to Feck off to herself for trying to guilt trip your poor dad

aldiwhore Sun 29-May-11 14:00:12

Tbh, your Dad shouldn't have involved you as its not your business, unless he's really not happy about the situation and was looking for advice, it sounds like he's stirring.

What my sister and brother do, I don't know about, my folks don't involve me... unless its something BIG and they don't know how to handle it.

YANBU for thinking she shouldn't ask. YWBU if you got involved and your Dad is BU for telling you.

I've asked my folks for random things in the past that my siblings could judge me on (my folks loaned me money to pay a tax bill as I'd spent it - stupid me - lesson learned) but my parents respect us all enough to deal with things descreetly.

I know your Dad's 74, but seeing as I respect the eldery as people in their own right, I cannot think why his age should make a difference.... if your sister is really taking the piss, then you do need to say something, but if your dad has given her the cash, then really its him that needs the talking to.

diddl Sun 29-May-11 14:04:31

She can ask-he doesn´t have to agree!

If he´s given her money & is pissed off about it, I´m afraid that´s his problem-no point in involving you.

lljkk Sun 29-May-11 14:07:33

I know it's tough but it's your dad's call if he wants to indulge her.

baboos Sun 29-May-11 14:15:46

I would be having words with her, had to do the same with one of my sisters last week..........asked my 80 year old dad to look after her 13 year old daughter for a school week, as "she just had to get away for a break". I told her she was a selfsh cow and that her and her XH should take responsibilty for their daughter and if one of them wasn't available then she shouldn't go.

She didn't like it, but hey ho....

CarryOnUpTheAIBU Sun 29-May-11 14:40:06

Did she give an excuse as to why she didn't save
And are you sure she just wasn't asking to borrow the money?

Honeybee79 Sun 29-May-11 14:48:11


ada07 Sun 29-May-11 14:54:08

Agree with diddl.

takethisonehereforastart Sun 29-May-11 16:27:11

At 74 he may be feeling a little vulnerable even though she is his daugher, so perhaps this was his way of asking for help or something. We don't always see it in our own parents but it could be the case that he is finding it hard to say no to her but doesn't feel able to ask you outright for help because he is still the parent.

Does your sister make a habit of demanding asking for money from him?

YANBU. Your sister was unreasonable to even ask.

smileANDwave2000 Sun 29-May-11 17:25:42

perhaps if they are very very close they tell each other everything my family are the same but it has caused problems as my sister used to be always asking for money when her and her dh are on 4 times my income and i know she never gives it back where as i rarely ask (ive 3 dcs) my sister has none if i asked it was a loan until next week and for a couple of quid when she asked it was for thousands with no chance of repayment and my mother was getting altzeimers and didnt have a cle what was going on then my sister took over her finances and closed my childrens account and put there money in her own back account as she had power of atorney over my mothers finances sad shes a differnt case tho as since mum died shes gone totally loopy and told my DCs she doesnt want to see them any more but then told the rest of the relatives i wont let her now shes divorcing her 5th husband and all alone , sorry i digress she is being unreasonable you are not all i can say is keep an eye on your dad as my sister then shipped mum off to a old peoples home ( her worst nightmare) and told them sh eas my mums carer and only daughter so i got more and more pushed out and i was the one living with my mum as she had hear and lung problems till i got married when i was 32 sister left at 17 , my heart aches telling about it

smileANDwave2000 Sun 29-May-11 17:27:30

should read heart and lungs blush

RunAwayWife Sun 29-May-11 17:43:36

YANBU she is being selfish

Adversecamber Sun 29-May-11 20:01:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

springydaffs Sun 29-May-11 21:11:03

Not sure this is your business tbh but I guess you know your sister. BUT sometimes family get the wrong end of the stick and really your dad shouldn't have told you but sorted it out himself. I'd keep my nose out if I were you.

Have you been to a lawyer about your sister 2000? Particularly eg your kids' money getting transferred into your sister's account - there will be a paper trail that is easy to follow.

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