to think that going back onto anti-depressants could be a positive thing.

[SunshineisSorry]

My anxiety is crippling me, ive been off medication for about six months, following about three years on citalopram.

Life is stressful, but its not as bad as it is for some - my anxiety is preventing me from dealing with it, its preventing me from dealing with anything. Its like i am in a constant state for "flight or fright" even when there isn't a problem right now.

Sometimes i just sit here and do nothing and hours will have passed. Im not depressed, just anxious.

The thing is, i dont want to be zombiefied again, i didnt think i was, but dp says i was - but now he is telling me to go back to the doctors again.

To be honest, the anxiety is sucking all the joy out of my life. I have problems yes, but doesn't everyone but i just elevate them to catastrophe and now sit and fret in case anything happens :(

My daughter deserves a functioning mother but i am not sure that medication is going to work for me. Ive just started doing some volunteer work in my old job, its good to get out of the house, but then i fret because im not earning any money but i am trying to keep going with this because i want to make myself more employable.

[Tee2072]

There are 100s of meds for anxiety and depression. Perhaps citalopram was the wrong one for you?

Go to your GP. Have a frank discussion about how you are feeling. Get some help.

[squeakytoy]

I suffered very badly with anxiety for many years and propanolol was very effective for me. I also think this forum is very good too.

www.uncommonforum.com/viewforum.php?f=7

[SunshineisSorry]

Yes, thankyou Tee, im going to - its the PHYSICAL feeling of anxiety that im getting 95% of the time that is sending me back to the doctors. I am worried though that this is a result of being on the medication in the first place. I was anxious and depressed when i went on it, but ive never felt this horrible physical anxiety, its beyond anything ive felt before, yet strangely i dont feel depressed. Sad, and robbed of my life, but not depressed.

[AnyFucker]

go see your GP, love

there may be better medication that is suited to your particular symptoms

[SunshineisSorry]

AF thanks, i feel such a let down being back here again - i just want to get on with my life and be happy and going back on meds is like admitting that im not.

[Rannaldini]

have you seen a therapist? NICE guidelines for anxiety are therapy

Gps are often not actually best qualified to deal with mental health issues and can think anxiety is depression and vice versa. This has a lot to do with the time needed to make an accurate stab at diagnosing the issues that you might have.
Ask for a referral to your mental health team and try to see a therapist

[WhoAteMySnickers]

No More Panic is a brilliant website. Have a look.

I've used the Paul McKenna Control Stress book and hypnosis CD for the past 3 months, I was completely sceptical at first but I can honestly say it has helped. I got it from Amazon for about a fiver. Definitely worth a try !!?

[AnyFucker]

it's better that you admit it though, SIS, and seek help

[SunshineisSorry]

Rannaldini, ive done counselling and it seemed to turn into a whinge fest, i think it helped me. But ive not moved on at all now i look back. I did go to the doctor a couple of months back, my GP wasnt there and i saw a male doctor who while he was very nice, was fucking useless - i was nearly hysterical and i begged for a psych refferal, was sent away with leaflets about how to control anxiety. Do i have to put myself under a train before they realise i need help? He told me that a psychiatrist wont be able to help me and would only offer counselling and meds and of course there is a 3-6 month wait for counselling. Told me to exercise, which i was, i was running like a mad woman and it helped alot, but i run so much i buggered my hip and now i cant run for the fecking bus without getting in bad pain for about a week :-/ too fecking anxious to go to the docs about it though - what a wreck.

[FabbyChic]

Maybe a different anti-d will help as opposed to nullifying everything.

Have you tried CBT that is supposed to be really good for anxiety issues, I found mine just went on their own though.

[JamieAgain]

IMO, the meds you are on should be to enable you to function well enough to set up the practical things you need to do to also help - IME volunteering is very very helpful, as is physical exercise.

To tackle anxiety symptoms, Cognitive Behavioural therapy is proven much more helpful than generic counselling.

(just seen Fabby mentions this too)

[JamieAgain]

OP - I don't think you should feel a failure. It's about seeing things have slipped and doing whatever it takes to get back on an even keel. Taking control - in whatever form that takes, is not a failure. Good luck

[Rannaldini]

From some of the things that you have said it sounds as though you have some depression hanging around as well and it might be as well for you to go back on anti depressants for a while
If you can try to see a CT
Very quickly she should be able to at least give you some ways to take you out of the panic cycle
Don;t be fobbed of by the GP. go back and get it sorted out.

[SunshineisSorry]

How do i make them understand that i need help though and not just another whinging mum who isnt coping - three people, two of whom i knew (not well but enough to pass the time with) have put themselves in front of a train since xmas, i went through a week where it took all my strength to stop myself from doing the same, even though i wasn't suicidal and am not - it was like "im going to do that, even though i dont want to" how can i tell them that, they will cart me off to the looney bin and i'll lose my DD. DP has told me to be very careful what i say in case i get DD taken away :(

[Kimberjem]

Hi sunshine, I also suffer from horrendous anxiety, been to my gp a number of times, also prescribed citalopram, fluoxetine etc etc nothing really worked, however, gp referred me to local psychiatric unit where I was recommended a number of courses of treatment and a particular hypnotherapist, who I cam see without doubt has done more good than any medication of traditional forms of therapy. it really has helped so so much. Don't know where you are based but if you pm me happy to give details. living with anxiety is he'll and since seeing her I have managed to do so many things I thought I never could. Btw, in RL I am perceived as an extremely confident woman so however much you feel on the inside I have realised people just don't get it and it doesn't show half as much as you think.

[Rannaldini]

First of all let me remind you that none of the advice posted on Mumsnet is professional advice. Some give personal experience of what has helped them and their advice is valid and well intentioned.


Okay, you need to write all of this down and then take it with you to the doctors.
You must tell the doctor that you have considered suicide.
Ask for a double appointment or at the end of shift. Ensure that you tell your doctor what you have said here.
Depression and anxiety are two different things but can present together. Either of these things can impact upon the other and that is why you need to have a proper chat with him and get a decent diagnosis.
If you get anti depressants it will take a few weeks for them to work. In the meanwhile insist that you see a CT. If there is a massive waiting list try to get a private appointment if you can afford it. Even one session will start to let you understand more about your illness.

[JamieAgain]

Sunshine. It's a real shame your DP said that. He's right in telling you to go back to the GP, as you mentioned in your OP, but there is no point not telling the GP the truth.
Do what Rannaldini says and tell the GP how bad you have been feeling. This is not about getting carted off and losing your DD, it's about getting the help you need right now. In the meantime, call the Samaritans if you are feeing desperate.

[hiddenhome]

I dealt with the zombification effects of Citalopram by taking it last thing at night.

There are also other SSRIs that you can try that don't have this effect.

[SunshineisSorry]

what is a CT?

[YellowDinosaur]

I will second the go back to your GP advice.

My dh suffers with depression and came off meds about a year ago as he felt they weren't really helping and he too felt zombified (and they were about the third type he had tried).

It took coming off them to see how much they actually were helping him and now he is much much better.

Of course your situation may be different and what works for one won't necessarily work for another but going and seeing your GP will do no harm. I reiterate that you will NOT be at risk of losing your dd for asking for help. 1 in 10 people sufferfrom depression at some time and they don't all have their children taken away - the country would grind to a halt if they did. It is always in the interests of social services to keep children with loving families where possible and this is clearly in the best interests of your dd. Asking for help is a vcery difficult but also positive thing to do.

Good luck x

[ada07]

I'd like to second what Rannaldini says about seeking help from your GP.

My 'internet opinion' is that this isn't a withdrawal effect from taking citalopram and you shouldn't blame the meds. The timescale is wrong.

[JamieAgain]

Sunshine - you asked about CT - I think Rannaldini is referring to a Cognitive Therapist. Different professionals can be trained in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural therapy) - counsellors, nurse counsellors or Clinical Psychologists. Depends on your GP surgery they might have therapists of one sort or another in the surgery itself, or, or they might refer on to the local Community Mental health team or Clinical Psychology Dept. Or there are private practitioners.

[SunshineisSorry]

ah right - i did ask about cbt but that is not available around here, cant afford private.

[ada07]

The NHS are trialling an online CBT programme - ask your GP for the details??

[SunshineisSorry]

I just wish my DP would be more understanding, i told him about the train thing, it wasn't so much that i felt suicidal but scared that something would take over me and i would just not be able to stop myself - his response - do it then trying to do harsh love probably, hes had enough. He is being very cold with me now i have told him im going back to the doctors, i think its because he thinks it will be like it was when i had PND. I am trying to avoid that, that is why im going back to the doctors. The cuddles I need are thin on the ground so i guess i have to get my comfort out of a packet