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to think there are only so many photos of a rhododendron any one person needs?

(39 Posts)
Hassled Sun 29-May-11 10:20:43

I want to go to this Nat Trust place near us to see the rhododenrons - it's absolutely beautiful, gorgeous views, 80 different species etc. We always go this time of year, and every single bloody year (for at least 12 years) DH brings his camera and takes photos. Close up, not close up, very very close up, from far far away. It always ends up with me hissing "I'm not waiting for you any more" as the kids disappear into the middle distance, and we're always barely speaking as we return to the car.

And then, and then - nothing. He labels them on his laptop, he never prints them off, no one ever sees them again. Maybe he uses them as his porn-alternative - I have no idea.

This afternoon I am putting my foot down. I will smash the camera (and did I mention he spent £500 on the camera without consulting me - admittedly this was 8 years ago, but still) before it goes in the car. AIBU?

WhoAteMySnickers Sun 29-May-11 10:27:29

Hide the camera - quick!

Tbh a day of looking at rhododendrons is not my idea of a day out and taking photos of them seems equally as boring. If he's done this for the last 12 years then you know what you're letting yourself in for, therefore YABU.

MumblingRagDoll Sun 29-May-11 10:29:18

YABU to visit the same rhododendrons every year.

squeakytoy Sun 29-May-11 10:29:21

Walk on and leave him to it, and let him catch you up when he is ready.

flimflammery Sun 29-May-11 10:31:19

Haha that'a a great AIBU title!

Sheffield Park by any chance? If so, yes it is beautiful.

Tell him if he stops to take more than three photos, then you're leaving him there and going to the tea shop for a cake extravaganza and he's paying.

fluffles Sun 29-May-11 10:34:53

why do you get to gawp but he doesn't get to photograph?

imo photographing them makes the day a little bit more engaging, don't get me wrong, they're a lovely flower, but imo most lovely when you're on a hike or a bike ride or photographing not just dawdling and gawping.

YANBU in your question, he doens't need the pics, but YABU to expect him to enjoy dawdling around gawping at the flowers every year.

Hassled Sun 29-May-11 10:35:36

No, the camera's not coming. Hiding it will avoid unpleasantness, won't it?

diddl Sun 29-May-11 10:39:44


You know the saying "you can never be to rich or too thin"?

Haven´t you also heard "you can never have too many rhododendron pics"?grin

Cattleprod Sun 29-May-11 10:40:58

I bet there's some rhodedendron fetish site, and your DH is one of the respected big cheeses with all his rhodedendron porn. Alan Titchmarsh is probably involved!

Why isn't he taking photos of you and the DCs though? That's what normal people do, surely (even if there are rhodedendrons in the background).

purepurple Sun 29-May-11 10:41:28

Borrow his camera and take hundreds of close-ups of naked men. When he complains, tell him you need a new camera to enable you to really take your new hobby seriously.

Hassled Sun 29-May-11 10:43:08

Oh I'm not forcing him into this outing - on the contrary, he seems unduly keen. Maybe Cattleprod is right. One day that hard drive will be evidence.

And MumblingRagDoll - are they the same rhododenrons though, if they die back and regrow each year?

allhailtheaubergine Sun 29-May-11 10:46:13

My husband does this in aquariums.


But anyway, YABU - you can't change his rhododendron photography fetish, but you can change your reaction to it. Decide before you get there that that is what he's going to do, and make your own plan to enjoy the day. Arrange to meet him later in the tea room or something.

KurriKurri Sun 29-May-11 10:46:48

Sounds like my DH, - he likes to experience everything through a camera lens. I don't mind that much, he does take good pictures, but sometimes I wish we could just look at things and enjoy them.

Limit him to a ten minute photo session and then the camera goes away. Failing that do what DD and I do - just walk on without him and let him catch up.

(I will swap you your Rhododendron photos, for the 'fifteen hundred photos of an interesting caterpillar' collection grin)

GentleOtter Sun 29-May-11 10:48:45

Perhaps the rhododendrons bring out his inner bee. Close ups of stamens and everything. Very intimate.

Yanbu as rhohs do owt for 11 months of the year then they become mildly interesting, horticulturally.

Merrylegs Sun 29-May-11 10:51:32

Sheringham? TBF, they are vair stunning rhodes.

AwesomePan Sun 29-May-11 10:58:52

He sounds a very sweet, engaged, artistic and nature-loving man, and you are coming across as the mean, intolerant, restless old rat bag who is jealous of his internal equilibrium.

<<just keep him away from the azaleas - seriously sexy little things they be>>

ChairOfTheBored Sun 29-May-11 11:08:23

oooh, azaleas - they are naughty little minxes.

Hassled Sun 29-May-11 11:09:58

I am jealous of his internal equilibrium - you're quite right.
Maybe I need to get my own camera.

KurriKurri Sun 29-May-11 11:11:14

Can't hear the word azaleas without thinking of this grin

aldiwhore Sun 29-May-11 11:12:27

My DH is a photographer, its in his blood, I would be cruel to tell him he can't take photos... BUT we don't wait for him. He has his phone, he gives me a break as well, if we lose each other, I go find a cafe (he hates cafes, I adore them). It has taken about 13 years to get the balance right.

If we're on holiday, he HAS to take a few photos of his actual family every day (I would never touch his camera, I would break it) then he can take as many shots of pebbles and clouds as he likes. He also is expected to file the arty/boring shots separately from the family shots.

To be fair, some of his arty stuff is awesome, and he does sell a few so I can't complain. Now that our 'system' is in place I find I'm getting more interested!

OP YABU because your dh gets a lot of joy from taking photos, but YANBU as well... you simply need a system that allows you both to do what you want.

Hassled Sun 29-May-11 18:29:20

He didn't bring his camera! Huzzah!
Either he lurks on MN or he remembers the 2010 Hissy Fit, which means we have no 2011 rhododendrons in the photo collection whatsoever. Result.

EverythingInMiniature Sun 29-May-11 18:55:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flyingspaghettimonster Sun 29-May-11 18:56:29

He isn't called Peter is he? with a penchants for train spotting and a furry-flapped hat? whistles innocently

Hassled Sun 29-May-11 19:01:55

Not a Peter, no to the hat and no to the trains. Phew grin
He can identify any aircraft that flies overhead, though. Military or non - he's not fussy.

AwesomePan Sun 29-May-11 19:09:15

Poor man. Poor, oppressed man. Hope you're proud now.

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