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To take DD to Parent & Child Group?

(12 Posts)
NoseyNooNoo Sat 28-May-11 23:32:44

My DD is 4 yrs old. She was born in September so has just missed going to school. She goes to afternoon Nursery at the local Primary so when we go out in the morning she's wearing the Nursery top which has the same emblem as the Primary school.

Every single morning that we are out people ask me, quite aggressively sometimes, why she is not at school. We, and her younger brother, go to various parent and child groups. My daughter is the largest child but she is polite, helpful etc so I'm getting heartily sick of the continual comments.

I'm know I'd being 'over-sensitive' but AIBU to not want to be asked this every morning? I'm starting to feel that we're not welcome at groups and feel embarrassed when we're out elsewhere.

Is there a witty retort I can use?

TheSecondComing Sat 28-May-11 23:37:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Firawla Sat 28-May-11 23:41:20

I would just give them a funny look and say like er no, she does not go to school she is in nursery. People even ask this of my ds1, he is almost 3 so not even nursery age yet but people quite often say is he not in school? so I just say "no he is 2 yrs old hmm" and it shuts them up because there's nothing else they can really say to that, if they are not old enough. I suppose bit more difficult as your dd is in the uniform! but I would try not to let it bother you. As for the groups, if the people running it are fine for you to be there then I wouldn't worry, aren't these groups for up to 5 yrs anyway?? I will keep bringing my ds to groups when he is nursery for only half days, why should you keep your younger ds at home just because some people feel your 4 yr old child is too big to be in a group for under 5 yrs olds?? she is within the age range so it is fine!! I think its unfair on the younger ones if they are made to miss out for this reason, if your dd is happy to go its good for all of you

foreverondiet Sat 28-May-11 23:41:42

I think it depends on the comments. If they are toddler groups esp with a suggested 2-3 age range then fair enough, probably not appropriate to take her. If they are don't have suggested age range, and she is happy to attend just say she goes to nursery in the afternoons and don't get so sensitive.

CrystalQueen Sat 28-May-11 23:44:44

move to Scotland, the cut off date is different!

worraliberty Sat 28-May-11 23:48:12

You've admitted you're being over-sensitive so don't worry about a 'witty reply'

It's the end of May, the kids break up in July so this won't be a problem for more than a few weeks.

NoseyNooNoo Sat 28-May-11 23:52:58

I've just looked at the websites for these groups. None are 'baby' groups and most have a suggested age-range of 0-5. She enjoys them and I'm not sure I could think of 5 different things to do each week.

However, it's interesting that some people who've answered would perhaps think it inappropriate for her to attend.

I do just say that she goes to afternoon nursery but they often respond aas though I'm lying. It's just ridiculous.

Booandpops Sun 29-May-11 08:06:36

Sod the others. My dd attended playgroup till 4 as my Ds was 2,and we enjoyed them as a family. She was one of the oldest but well within her rights to be there! Now she is in school and my son is at nursery we don't do them as the always seem to be in the morning when He is at nursery but I still wouldn't hesitate if we had a free afternoon.
Now we tend to do playdates or I have to do more errands so it's not possible anyway.
Can you maybe go less and do different activities such as the park etc if it makes you annoyed. I'm amazed Yr pulled up on it so much as no one bats an eyelid round here.
However there were still 2 intakes when we were going so it was usual to see more big kids home. I disagree with this one intake malarky. They grow too quick anyway.
You do what u and Yr kids enjoy and stuff them.

SocialButterfly Sun 29-May-11 08:09:39

When my dd started school she only went part time, I went to a toddler group with my younger dd and took the older dd as well. There were about 4 other mums who brought their older children and they all played together. I think as long as they are respectful of the younger children and aren't running around knocking them all over then its no problem.

RockOnMrs Sun 29-May-11 08:11:35

I'm very impressed that your DD manages to keep her school top clean all morning before she goes to preschool in the afternoon grin

Why not just put her in a non-school top in the morning, then you won't get any comments? My DD will be starting school in September when she is 3 weeks away from her 5th birthday, and is very tall for her age, and I've never had a single negative comment - she only wears her pre-school uniform (like yours, it has the same logo as the school's) when she's actually at pre-school.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange Sun 29-May-11 08:17:33

Those groups are til age 5 for this exact reason. Thanks for the heads up I am expecting a sept baby!

I would probably say something like we thought this would be more fun! If your going to the same groups every week they'll soon realise anyway. But do not stop going.

Tarenath Sun 29-May-11 09:51:15

My ds is 4.5 and still attends P&C groups. He's been going to same group since he was 2 though and is well known. He also doesn't go to nursery and will not be going to school in September.

I did have some comments last september about him not attending nursery but I just told them it was our choice and we had our reasons. Noone ever questioned us continuing to attend the groups though. Maybe it's because the groups I go to are frequented by childminders so it's quite common for older children to attend.

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