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AIBU?

to want to avoid this woman...

61 replies

lucylookout · 28/05/2011 17:54

Sorry in advance for this being a long one, but would like to know whether IABU or not.

Last year I had a termination at 20 weeks due to a lethal condition. Around three weeks later I had a play date with a woman I had met through NCT and her son, both 2 1/2. Half way through the play date she said, almost aggressively 'look, I feel really awkward about this but I'm pregnant, OK'. She said it in such a way that I felt guilty about my termination because it made her feel awkward about being pregnant . I started apologising to her and it was only after that I felt manipulated and thought actually, she's only 7 weeks, there's no reason why she had to make her announcement to me right now.

Then, I felt like she started hounding me a bit. Our sons seemed to get on and we had a few play dates but to be honest, her son was always pretty horrible to my son (as in picking up a large plastic and metal toy, holding it over his head and hurling it at my DS). She never intervened enough for my liking (another time we were in a park and her son started attacking an older boy, maybe 5 or 6. I looked at her expectantly to do something and she said 'oh no, I like to leave it to them to sort their own battles out, and that boys old enough to defend himself ). Anyway, I stopped having the play dates.

Then, she enrolled her son at the same nursery as mine (because mine went there). They have an odd relationship where they are friends, but her DS is always very aggressive towards mine. At one point my DS was coming home with a different injury every day, including a bite on his belly that was bruised and had broken the skin. She talked to me about her son's aggression one time and said she believed it was because he was 'an alpha male finding his way in society'.

So she kept asking to meet up for play dates and I really didn't want to, but felt guilty for refusing all the time and thought to myself 'she can't be that bad' and went for a coffee when the boys were in nursery (I could avoid her aggressive DS that way). By now her second ds has been born, a cutie. She asked me with a flick of her hand 'so, uh, how's your pregnancy thing going?' I said 'uh, well, I'm not, but I'm fine about it' and she said 'well, for people who are trying to conceive, I always say, just relax, but it's probably easy for me to say that because I conceive very easily and have straightforward pregnancies' She said more things along these lines too, but I won't bore you with them now.

After that I said 'never again' to myself and have avoided her at all costs. Except this afternoon I saw her at a mutual friend's son's bday party. I have an almost physical reaction when I see her. I feel shaky and emotional and want to cry and want to slap her all at the same time. Obviously, I must be projecting some of my feelings about the termination and the crap time I was having onto her because she always made me feel worse whenever I saw her around then, but come on, I'm not being that unreasonable to want to avoid her am I? She is also a self obsessed, insensitive cow.

Sorry, rant over. I don't blame you if you didn't get to the end of this!

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cornsilks · 28/05/2011 17:56

She sounds horrible. I would avoid her as well.