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Sil's birthday gift - wwyd?

(64 Posts)
CeliaFate Sat 28-May-11 16:46:27

Posted in chat as well. It's her 50th soon. Dh thinks we should buy her a present. I do not. For my 40th (last year) I got ... nothing. Not even a card. She said she posted it, okay it could have got lost. But she claims she "forgot" it was my 40th. Okay. Like she forgot my 30th. I had a bunch of flowers.
It seems childish I know and I should take the high road, but I'm really pissed off at buying her a present when she can't be arsed with my birthday. (There is a LOT of history with sil so I admit I'm biased).

ShuffleBallChange Sat 28-May-11 16:49:29

I would take the high road and get her something lovely. Dont sink to her level although it is tempting. Make her feel guilty by getting her the biggest most fabulous pressie you can and take pride in the fact that you are far nicer than her grin

chirpchirp Sat 28-May-11 16:49:38

I say take the high road and get her a small gift. Is it your DH's sister or a siblings wife? If it's DH's sis get him to buy a gift and just stick your name on it too.

millie30 Sat 28-May-11 16:49:47

Why do you have to get her anything? If your DH wants to get her a present then he can do it surely?

IslaValargeone Sat 28-May-11 16:51:04

I would do the same as Shuffleball suggests. I feel your pain though.

SauvignonBlanche Sat 28-May-11 16:51:27

Don't sink to her level.

YellowDinosaur Sat 28-May-11 16:52:44

I wouldn't get her anything but I wouldn't stop dh getting her something either. Stay out of it - if he really wants to get her something he can sort it out himself

CeliaFate Sat 28-May-11 16:55:27

It's dh's brother's wife. Dh wouldn't have the first clue as to what to get. I'll end up getting it angry. You're right, I should rise above it. Grrrr....

grottielottie Sat 28-May-11 17:08:09

I would get her a wonderful and thoughtful present which would unfortunately get lost in the post.

ENormaSnob Sat 28-May-11 17:16:11

No I wouldn't get her anything.

ZombiePlan Sat 28-May-11 17:20:23

I'd give her a card. If you really feel like taking the moral high ground, pick up a bottle of wine for her next time you're in the supermarket. I certainly wouldn't bust a gut searching high and low for The Perfect Gift though, given that she can't even be arsed to write your burthdsy on her calendar...

ZombiePlan Sat 28-May-11 17:21:20

Just to point out that I can, in fact, spell 'birthday' correctly...
As you were.

SuePurblybilt Sat 28-May-11 17:24:00

Do you buy for your Dh's brother (her husband)? Because he forgot your birthdays all those times too presumably? Or do they buy seperate gifts?

horriblemotheragain Sat 28-May-11 17:24:23

no, i wouldn't bother. she obviously doesn't care about yours! i am still miffed with Dh's parents who said they'd write me a cheque for my birthday (which is what they usually do tbh) and i never got it. they did ring me on the day to say happy birthday, we'll send you some money to treat yourself. It never arrived. I'm sure it was an oversight but i was really looking forward to having some £ to spend on myself for a change...

Anyway, don't bother with the high road, if you're not friends with her, why send her a present?

exoticfruits Sat 28-May-11 17:25:16

I would leave it to DH to arrange (or not arrange)-no need to get involved.

SuePurblybilt Sat 28-May-11 17:25:32

Or even separate. Fingers not listening...

Haecceity Sat 28-May-11 17:26:11

So what if he wouldn't have a clue what to get?

I refuse to accept that there is something about having a penis that renders you incapable of being able to choose a gift for someone.

Tell him to go to the shops and choose something!

CeliaFate Sat 28-May-11 17:28:34

Sue her dh is useless at anything remotely domesticated - she buys all the cards and presents. He wouldn't have a clue if I'd received anything at all!

ajandjjmum Sat 28-May-11 17:31:32

I'd do something that clearly involved little effort. Flowers?
NB. I actually love getting flowers though! grin

diddl Sat 28-May-11 17:35:34

I don´t really "do" presents for adults & would probably only get something if there was some sort of party/get together organised.

She obviously doesn´t do presents for adults either, anywaygrin

CrapBag Sat 28-May-11 17:36:36

I wouldn't get her anything. Thats your DH's job. I don't buy for my SIL and nor would I.

SuePurblybilt Sat 28-May-11 17:41:06

But he's getting away with not remembering by not being domesticated and she's not? I just thought it a bit unfair that all the blame be directed at the female half of a couple both quite capable of entering Clintons Cards grin.

Anyway, I would either not bother or just get something like a bottle of wine. Or maybe suggest that as presents seem to be a bit hit and miss, you all make a decision not to buy for adults from now on?

Doha Sat 28-May-11 17:44:27

Bottle of cheap plonk from the supermarket and a standard card.( pity you forgot it was her 50th!!!)

Better than the nothing that she got you and not requiring too much effort.

PinotGrigiosKittens Sat 28-May-11 18:15:49

Get her a card and really really spit on the envelope seal smile

Gooseberrybushes Sat 28-May-11 18:17:25

Well this is easy. Don't buy her a present. If your husband wants to buy her a present you can't stop him.

Why are you even thinking about buying a present? It's not even "taking the high road". It's taking the mug road.

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