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when do I stop co-sleeping??

(22 Posts)
theowlandthepussycatwenttosea Sat 28-May-11 11:37:41

I am co-sleeping with a baby. But wondering when people stop - I have a friend who co-sleeps with a 5 yo. The child doesn't have his own bed yet. When does a child need their own bed. We are in a 1 bed flat so we do need to know when we should make arrangements.

TattyDevine Sat 28-May-11 11:40:35

As long as its at some point before they start rolling in drunk at 3am or having their boyfriend to stay over then I dont think it really matters grin

theowlandthepussycatwenttosea Sat 28-May-11 11:42:21

WOuld you say around 7 is ok then? THen we could put off moving for a while.

backwardpossom Sat 28-May-11 11:43:23

Whenever you like - there are no rules!

theowlandthepussycatwenttosea Sat 28-May-11 11:46:25

11 then??

porcamiseria Sat 28-May-11 11:48:17

you can always get a little bed that goes in your room...........but there is no rush to stop, cosleeping with mine but its going to have to stop soon! he is 9 months

FabbyChic Sat 28-May-11 11:49:19

I co-slept with mine until he was 3 then he shared a room with his older brother.

hairylights Sat 28-May-11 11:49:47

I think it's entirely up to you as a family. If the child begins to express his wish for his own bed, or if you start to want your own space as a couple then that's a cue. Certainly long before puberty, I'd say, when children become very body and privacy conscious.

Co-sleeping isn't for me but it's each families decision.

theowlandthepussycatwenttosea Sat 28-May-11 11:50:53

hmm.. thanks maybe not 11 then. Maybe 7 is better.

theowlandthepussycatwenttosea Sat 28-May-11 11:52:10

I certainly wouldn't continue until the child was old enough to start drinking or have girlfriends etc.

hairylights Sat 28-May-11 11:53:43

You need to be prepared for if the child wants to stop before 7 though. It's not necessarily all about when you want to stop.

issynoko Sat 28-May-11 11:54:23

DD is 7 and comes into our bed most nights. She shares with younger brother and sister and we are trying to get her to settle in her own bed now - have a new one due in the winter and need some room without her feeling banished! She does have a 'nest' in our room sometimes but is getting better at being taken back to her bed and tucked in. I have a friend who is a child psychologist and she said that she deals with a lot of teenagers who are still bed-sharing with parents aged 14, 15 and by then it causes big problems for them socially and psychologically. So somewhere between baby and adult!!!

theowlandthepussycatwenttosea Sat 28-May-11 12:09:32

thanks - 14 seems a bit old immo. i guess it also depends on the size of the child quite a lot.

BertieBotts Sat 28-May-11 12:12:26

I stopped when DS decided he hated duvets and kept pulling mine off in the middle of the night!

Tee2072 Sat 28-May-11 12:26:15

My 2 year old is currently transitioning into his own room. I say transitioning because he still ends up with me or my husband most nights.

Tonight, though, because he's ill, he'll be starting with me and staying with me so I can keep an eye on him.

There are no rules about this. Just got with the flow!

julienoshoes Sat 28-May-11 12:32:17

When our youngest was ready-she was about 12 BUT I needed more space before that-being squeezed between dd2 who scratched her excema on her arms, when she got to hot and dh who scratches his legs because his circulation condition makes them itch so, was just too muc!! So I go a foam put you up bed and lay it down next to my side of the bed, and dd2 slept there. She could reach out and touch me if she needed to, but I could sleep grin -such a relief! When dd2 decided she was actually ready to go into her own bed in a room shared with her sisiter (which had been ready for years) she could, knowing she could just come back to the put me up bed, if she got frightened in the night.

onlion Sat 28-May-11 12:32:42

Mine was 6 and a half

squeakytoy Sat 28-May-11 14:06:20

I have a friend who is a child psychologist and she said that she deals with a lot of teenagers who are still bed-sharing with parents aged 14, 15 and by then it causes big problems for them socially

Good god... I was more interested in co-sharing a bed with my boyfriend by the time I was 15!! grin

Checkmate Sat 28-May-11 14:09:04

I stopped when I stopped breastfeeding, with each of my DC, so they were around 18 months old. (Had no problems transferring them into a cot at that age).

issynoko Sat 28-May-11 14:11:12

Well quite! Clearly she is not dealing with the norm of co-sleepers but sliding scales...food for thought!

Squitten Sat 28-May-11 14:13:44

If you are putting the child down in their own bed to begin with and then only co-sleeping when they wake in the night, it naturally sorts itself out. We did that and our elder son is now 2.5, sleeps through (finally!) so no more co-sleeping.

yukoncher Sat 28-May-11 14:16:26

I co-slept with my son until aged 3, that felt natural and appropriate for us.

Many families in other countries all live in one room!

There's no rules!

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