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Guardian Soul Mates - would you?

(38 Posts)
theglove Fri 27-May-11 17:11:17

Almost everyone within my age range and area seemed nice, including someone I knew, weirdly.

However, as much as I'd like to I'd never feel able to post a picture online, precisely because of being recognised and then feeling humiliated.

Is it something others would feel quite natural, or is internet dating not a good idea?

Tambern Fri 27-May-11 17:24:20

I know the feeling. I liked Guardian Soul Mates, but also was worried about people I know recognising me. So I wrote a profile that reflected me, assured people I wasn't a total uggo, and said that if they liked what they'd read, to email me and I'd give them a picture. That way I could check first I didn't know them haha, and also know that they'd read my profile

BooBooGlass Fri 27-May-11 17:26:32

Go for it. I was convimced to try internet dating by my friend last year. I was horrified at the idea of people seeing my photo. But I met my dp, and my photo was only up for about 4 weeks in total. It's very easy to delete your profile if the idea really makes you cringe, but what do you have to lose by trying? I wouldn't look at anyone without a picture on their profile. I'd think they had something to hide.

xstitch Fri 27-May-11 17:28:10

I met my DP on an dating site. We are getting married this summer.

theglove Fri 27-May-11 17:32:55

That's a good idea, I hope you get replies.
There are quite a few without pictures, but many more with, so I'd tend to ignore the pictureless ones I'm afraid, but maybe I'm just lazysmile

I think it's the casual browser (like me) I'm worried about, someone being able to see a profile without registering.

theglove Fri 27-May-11 17:36:13

That's good xstitch and BooBoo, it's hearing stories like that that makes me want to do it!

Slanted Fri 27-May-11 17:43:31

But on Guardian Soul Mates there's the option to make your photos private, isn't there? At least, there was when I last used it, a few years ago. I kept them hidden, and only revealed them to particular people if I wanted to.

I met DH on that site. We were married last year and I'm currently sat here feeding our baby boy.

discobeaver Fri 27-May-11 17:45:14

There was that thread on here about the 80 year old granny and the 40 year old "toy boy" who met on Guardian soul mates.
He sounded a total grade A loon.
Not saying they're all like that mind . . .

PrincessJenga Fri 27-May-11 17:46:06

I also met DP online ( & we're getting married next year. I'd highly recommend it... BUT you must put a picture on! Most people (fickle as we are!) won't even look at the profile of anyone who doesn't.

My top advice is to pose some kind of question in your profile (then you'll be able to weedle out who's actually read it & who just sends the same opening gambit to everyone they message)

Once you're messaging people, meet them (somewhere public!) as quickly as possible. You can waste ages emailing people who appear great by email but you just don't click with in real life.

Enjoy it grin

minipie Fri 27-May-11 17:50:45

I think the stigma of internet dating is going, going, gone

IMO it makes total sense. Why limit yourself to a small pool of "friends of friends" when you could go man shopping consider many more alternatives via the internet?

I know people in RL who've met their OH (fiance in one case) on mysinglefriend, which I think is quite a good site because your friends "sell" you instead of you having to sell yourself. Picture needed mind you!

MissBetsyTrotwood Fri 27-May-11 17:52:53

My brother met his wife to be and mother of his child on Guardian Soul Mates. My late best friend met a fabulous guy on it, the month before she died. Go for it and enjoy yourself (all safety caveats applying, obviously!)

Atwaroverscrabble Fri 27-May-11 17:54:13

I put an ad in guardian soul mates but not the website, just the one in the guide 5 years ago... Met a few weirdos nut not as bad as Internet dating and eventually met dh, and now have dd who is 18 months.... Don't mention you are a parent in the ad though, it does attract some odd ones but mention you have kids early on!

theglove Fri 27-May-11 17:54:35

Slanted, if they do have that option that'd be great. I'll have a closer look.

I am actually getting quite excited about it reading this, maybe I'll actually do it!

It's such a small town though.

EggyAllenPoe Fri 27-May-11 17:54:45

my sister met her fiance on guardian soul mates,....

i don't see anything wrong with internet dating - much more likely to yield a result than just going to the pub...

Giselle99 Fri 27-May-11 18:15:52

Theglove- expanding on slanted's suggestion, once you make your pics private you can then select the men you like the sound of and make them one of your 'favourites' - this means they can now see your pics but others can't. It also lets them know you're semi-interested but you also don't care if most of your favourites do not get back to you as they have to be paid members to do this, and many are not. Also they may have just met someone and have put themselves off the market but still have a profile etc. You can have as many favourites as you want.

I know many people who have met their longterm partners there, so it really is worth a go.

OTheHugeManatee Fri 27-May-11 18:21:45

GSM has by far the best normal to weirdo ratio of any dating site I've come across. I met generally very nice people there, including the man I'm marrying next year.

emsyj Fri 27-May-11 18:32:10

I would do Internet dating in a heartbeat if I was single. Back in them olden days it wasn't as 'normal' as it is now and the Internet was still a bit new-fangled so it wasn't an option when I was looking, so I joined a sports club (for a sport I am not interested in) to meet men. Same thing IMO. It's just about widening your circle and meeting new people, then eventually you're bound to meet someone you click with.

slippingsoftlyaway Fri 27-May-11 18:37:15

I've had a good few months meeting men off the GSM website. Some were ok, some were definitely pretty weird, but I had some fun times. They were quite relaxed people, fairly open-minded sexually, often working in media.

I've used the Times dating website as well which had more solvent men on it but generally a bit more conventional, often working in finance or law. They introduced me to some lovely restaurants and hotels though wink.

MooncupGoddess Fri 27-May-11 18:39:44

Oh, go for it. The only people who will find you on it are people who are involved in/thinking about online dating themselves, so they can't exactly pour scorn on you!

I found a colleague on there last week, fortunately neither of our profiles are at all embarrassing so we just had a laugh about it.

CharlotteBronteSaurus Fri 27-May-11 18:42:48

aw, how nice to hear all these stories of Guardian Soul Mates couples smile
my close friend met her lovely DP of several years' standing through GSM

Mamateur Fri 27-May-11 18:43:21

I met DP (soon to be DH on there).

I think if you're going to do internet dating you need to embrace it. Nothing worse than someone saying, ooh I can't believe I'm on here blah blah.

2rebecca Fri 27-May-11 18:50:50

No, they're all down south.
Don't see why it's different to other dating sites though.

Adversecamber Fri 27-May-11 18:59:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

northernrock Fri 27-May-11 19:03:54

I've done it, put pic up and everything, so of course all my friends found me on it and critiqued my profile!
I think you have to be upfront and shameless about it.
If you don't feel embarassed, then others won't think it's embarassing.

I had some good dates and a relationship out of it and will prob be going back. Plus its really good for boosting your self confidence-I was feeling a right frumpy old moo but got lots of compliments and nice male attention.
Do it!

YellowDinosaur Fri 27-May-11 19:05:10

I met dh online (datingdirect) and we have been happily married for nearly 7 years and have 2 gorgeous sons.

PrincessJengas post and advice is absolutely spot on.

Go for it - you have nothing to lose. And if Guardian soul mates doesn't have the privacy option many other sites do so perhaps try one of them first?

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