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to tell a family friend that she's a bit out of touch, and her advice to her son is OTT?

(10 Posts)
simplebetty Fri 27-May-11 15:13:46

i've namechanged for this for privacy, but i'm not sure where to draw the line between "just nodding politely and smiling" when you think someone is giving bad advice OR just being honest when at a small gathering.

Basically: i've just come home from a birthday meal at my parents house for my mum. it was quite a large thing (20 ish people) and I helped out (invited a few of the neighbours, as a number of family members live too far to travel for the day). it was really nice, but there was one incident where i wasn't sure what to do.. how honest to be.

Mum's younger friend (about 15 years older than me), who we've known for years, has a son who graduated from uni in 2007 ish. he did accountancy or something and got a job, stayed at a large firm for a year, hated it, then took a job at a tiny (relatively speaking: 20-odd employees) company in a more business-ey job (I don't know what). 2 years later he's a bit bored with the company but not the job role, and he's interviewing to move on.

Mum's friend spent a good few minutes moaning about how her son will be seen as "fickle job changer" hmm since he's already moved from his first (good) job after a year, and then is going to move from his 2nd (in only a sort of related sector) just after 2 years. she repeatedly made the point to him, and you could tell he'd stopped listening.

i had to bite my tongue because i actualyl don't know the son at all, and i don't know my mum's friend too well either. but i sosoooooo wanted to (politely) point out that she has no idea about modern day working practices and that 2 jobs 3 years after being out of uni is not exactly job hopping.

but then i work in an industry where most of the jobs are on short term contracts, i myself have to renew every 6 months because it depends on funding so much (charity sector).

AIBU to point out to this woman that she might be wrong?

AIBU to think that 20 years of not working, she might not be the best person to be hassling her son about what potential employees might (or might not) think about his good or bad employment record?

OTheHugeManatee Fri 27-May-11 15:15:06

She's wrong. 2 years is a perfectly OK length of time to stay in a job these days.

Tee2072 Fri 27-May-11 15:18:34

She absolutely wrong but there is no way she would listen if you told her that.

My mom says the same thing to my brother all the time. We've told her over and over that she's wrong. She won't listen.

Neither will this woman.

Pandemoniaa Fri 27-May-11 15:20:27

Since people like this are unlikely to listen to commonsense, I've come to the conclusion that, for the sake of your own stress levels, you might as well let them bang on. They are clearly the world expert on everything.

harecare Fri 27-May-11 15:23:43

The son wasn't listening so who cares. Either let her go on and on or tell her what you think and open a discussion. It's too late now anyway as you won't see her so never mind eh?

pregnantpause Fri 27-May-11 15:25:09

Her son is clearly ignoring her advice, my advice is that you do so too. Some people are stuck in their ways.

EricNorthmansMistress Fri 27-May-11 15:31:07

She's wrong but the son will do what he wants.

GiddyPickle Fri 27-May-11 15:31:10

If she was advising him to ignore the warning signs of a stroke or brain tumour or something serious then it's O.K to step in otherwise, he's a bright bloke and can figure it out for himself.
Her advice is not correct but he wasn't taking her seriously and she wouldn't have thanked you for butting in so it's best left.

beesimo Fri 27-May-11 15:46:27

What she says to her son is between her and her son it is not you place to involve yourself in other peoples family discussions.

Close your face and don't be so cheeky

jeckadeck Fri 27-May-11 15:50:38

She is wrong if he's fresh out of uni but she won't thank you for intervening and the son has almost certainly figured this out on his own. Not a big enough deal to warrant the fact that you will be seen as a nosey parker if you get involved. Just leave it.

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