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to want to tell my friend to look in a mirror

(21 Posts)
shortround Fri 27-May-11 14:29:07

Having lunch with 4 girlfriends, youngest of the 4 (about to hit 30) informs me she doesnt like my hair as it is, AT ALL, and preferred it dark, as last year. Me ..Oh!!!

for info I am naturally dark, always bobbed, but started covering the greys with dark permanent colour, then realised i was doing it nearly every 2/3 weeks, and so sat in the hair dressers for hours, had it all stripped and now every 12/14 weeks have touch ups of light shades, I actually like my hair, currently growing it down from a sort of mid life crisis chop, so its folded behind my ears.

2nd friend sat in silence said nothing. 3rd friend just under awkward pressure replied, both styles are nice (NICE!!!! worst descriptive word ever) 4th said she did like current style, but preferred it dark!

should I be thrilled that i have friends that can be honest with me, and take thier critisicm boldly, or should i tell friends 1 & 4, to look in a mirror at thier failure attempts to have Catherine Middleton locks, before they comment on mine! inpaticular friend 2 in confidence told me she had mistake friend 1 to be about to turn 40 and not 30!, her hair is that bad!

(I came home from lunch and actually rang my dh in work, in a flap, and my Hair appointment is re-scheduled for this week)

GeekCool Fri 27-May-11 14:31:11

You sound like a lovely bunch!

Quiapeter Fri 27-May-11 14:31:40

To be honest I dont like your hair either !

BitOfFun Fri 27-May-11 14:32:02

It's hard to care, to be honest. Don't you have more interesting things to talk about when you are out with friends?

Haecceity Fri 27-May-11 14:35:05

Did you ask for her opinion on your hair or did she just decide to say it?

Because if you asked them what they thought, then fair enough. They told you.

If you were looking at the menus and she looked up and told you your hair was shit, then that's rude and you should have told her to shut up. "I like it and that's all that matters."

JanMorrow Fri 27-May-11 14:35:10

I think they were probably trying to be nice.. I wouldn't worry about it!

TattyDevine Fri 27-May-11 14:36:27

That sounds bad. If nothing else, it was unsolicited advice.

If its any consolation its nearly always more flattering and less ageing to come up a few shades as you grey and age. Not that you are probably old enough to worry about that yet but if you are growing it its good to get rid of the colour build up now because if you have long hair and colour build up then its very hard to remove.

As long as you have an end goal you are working towards that you like, then don't worry about what they say! Its such a subjective thing anyway - there will be many others who prefer it.

tallulahxhunny Fri 27-May-11 14:37:27

i think we need a pic to give a true answer :D

AnyF Fri 27-May-11 14:38:32

I think she doesn't like you

Never mind your hair

And you all sound as if you can't stand each other

what a lark

Thing is, I spend time with people I like. That's kinda meant to be how it works.

allhailtheaubergine Fri 27-May-11 14:39:12

It does sound like you have shit hair.

cannydoit Fri 27-May-11 14:39:22

ummmmm do you like your hair??? because if you do what the fuck does it matter? if it looks like shit then get it fixed if you like it then tell them you like it and move on. making your friends feel like shit in a defensive gesture will only make you look petty and well it would be petty. i like it when my friends are honest with me but in the same vain if i dont agree end of, we all like different thing. be a bit more secure in yourself and people wont be able to shot down your confidence in one sentence.

SuePurblybilt Fri 27-May-11 14:40:51

Have you thought about wigs? You could try for a group discount.

Pandemoniaa Fri 27-May-11 14:41:15

Like all these remarks, it's not what but how it is said. So if you were generally talking about hair, I can quite understand a friend saying "Actually, I liked your hair better when it was dark" and wouldn't be particularly upset at them expressing this opinion. If, on the other hand, the comment came quite out of the blue and out of context then I might have a "Hmmmmmmmm" moment. Don't change the colour or style to suit a friend though. Go with what you like.

shortround Fri 27-May-11 14:41:29

she said it as i blew my growing fringe out of my eyes and said to myself, (but obviously one of those comments that they all heard)

'I need my hair cut'

nethunsreject Fri 27-May-11 14:45:42

Are you in satc?

taylor74 Fri 27-May-11 15:06:53

If you like your Hair fuck what they say it's what YOU think that counts

shortround Fri 27-May-11 15:22:37

I do like my hair, but just maybe it is awful and i do need a wig? for info i dont actually think 1 &3 have bad attempts at Catherine Middleton hair, but that is how i currently feel after being given an opinion that i didnt ask for.

x

GiddyPickle Fri 27-May-11 15:28:01

You all sound as bad as each other. Why is this at all important and just how bad can hair get to age you 10 years (assuming none of you have a pudding bowl cut or blue rinse and perm!)?

I have sat and wracked my brains a bit about the state of my friends' hair without much success. I could tell you what colour hair they all had but that's about it. I honestly can barely remember what length they all wear it let alone have any opinions on the style. It really doesn't matter what they think of your or what you think of theirs surely.

AmazingBouncingFerret Fri 27-May-11 15:31:31

Next time she says something spit in her drink and tell her her shoes are shit.

discobeaver Fri 27-May-11 15:58:25

What BOF said.

Continuum Fri 27-May-11 18:00:44

Sounds like a bad sitcom! Your rescheduled hair appointment now has to result in something "wacky".

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