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AIBU?

To be going on this trip...

20 replies

Pinkjenny · 27/05/2011 11:23

My best friend and I, along with our families have been planning our trip this weekend since Christmas. The original intention was to go camping, but because of the wind, we have had to change the plans a little, albeit we are still all spending the weekend away together.

So, the dilemma. Her 5yo dd is coming to the end of chickenpox, she is all crusted over and I am confident that she is no longer contagious, although she's still a little scabby. Her 2.5yo dd isn't displaying any symptoms as yet, although she may well be in the 'incubation' period and about to erupt with spots.

My 4yo dd has had chickenpox, but my 17mo ds hasn't had it yet. I have major anxiety issues over my dc's health, but I promised dh that if her younger dd wasn't showing any symptoms, we would still go.

But I feel that I am being irresponsible by putting ds at risk of chickenpox. Dh's rationale is that he could come into contact with anyone brewing the virus, at nursery, at playgroups etc.

But I'm still worried. Dd was so poorly when she had chickenpox, and I feel as if I am putting ds in the line of fire, so to speak.

I know he has to get it some time, I would just prefer he was a little older. Dd is looking forward to this trip so much, and I would feel awful (and neurotic) cancelling at this stage.

It'll be OK, won't it?

OP posts:

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ashamedandconfused · 27/05/2011 11:28

it is much much worse if you get chicken pox as an adult and your DH is right, you could pick it up anywhere - people are infectious when they only have mild cold symptoms and no spots.

my best friend and i hve 3 Dc each, many a time over the years we have cancelled weekends away at each others homes cos one of the kids was poorly/might be incubating CP etc etc
once we went to hers and DD came out in CP while we were there - there was no one with it in her nursery of my other DDs school class, we have no idea where she got it. DD1 caught it from her, and had it much much less severely. All my mates DC got it too

Pinkjenny · 27/05/2011 11:30

I actually feel physically sick at the prospect, which is obvs my anxiety issue, but you see, you did cancel the weekends etc, which makes me think that's what I should be doing, as a responsible parent.

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squeakytoy · 27/05/2011 11:31

Go, and enjoy yourself. If kids are going to get CP they will get it.... you really cant put things on hold "just in case". :)

worraliberty · 27/05/2011 11:33

How poorly was your DD when she had it?

CP isn't something you can really avoid. Your DH is right.

CurrySpice · 27/05/2011 11:33

Yes Jenny, it'll be OK. Just go and have a lovely time

ashamedandconfused · 27/05/2011 11:34

But I meant that to show that we did the WRONG thing cancelling weekends! On NONE of those cancelled occasionas did any of the DC come down with something they might have been incubating from school/nursery. and on the ONE time we went thinking we had nothing to worry about (friend had a newborn), DD came out in CP as soon as we arrived!

ashamedandconfused · 27/05/2011 11:37

what will you do when LO starts school/nursery - keep them home every time something contagious is doing the rounds?

seriously, CP is generally a very mild virus, the worst is over in about 4 days

its worth the risk, and they need to get it at some point!

MrSpoc · 27/05/2011 11:42

My 1 year old has just had chicken pots. It was nothing, he was a little groggy, slept more (bonus). the only downside was he was off his food for a while.

We even had friends asking for a Chicken pox party so their little ones could get it.

SoupDragon · 27/05/2011 11:45

The sibling is almost certainly contagious - DS2 went down with it 1 week after DS1 recovered.
IMO it is better to expose your DS whilst he is currently healthy and t a time when you know he has been exposed, giving you some degree of control over the situation.

razzlebathbone · 27/05/2011 11:47

I understand where you are coming from because your first child had it bad. I'm the same. My daughter had it so bad that I'm terrified of when my son gets it. She had to have steroids all round her nappy area as it was literally one huge blister, she had to be sedated because of the pain and discomfort, didn't sleep for almost three days. My GP said it was the worst case he had ever seen.

Pinkjenny · 27/05/2011 11:59

Dd was ill for ten days, she had spots absolutely everywhere, her temperature stayed up constantly for around four days. It was horrible. She was so agitated she was even biting herself. She caught it a week after she turned two.

Soup - this is what I'm worried about. And I'd rather he was a bit older.

ashamed - he is already at private nursery two days per week.

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SoupDragon · 27/05/2011 12:03

Being older can make it worse though. I don't think my friend who had it aged 16 was impressed at all.

I would rather knowingly expose my child when they are healthy than have it descend on them unexpectedly when they are perhaps more run down.

Pinkjenny · 27/05/2011 12:03

I know, Soup. My dd gave it to my cousin who was 22 at the time!

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Punkatheart · 27/05/2011 12:21

Enjoy yourself. Try to stop worrying. It's not infectious at this stage, surely?

I would be more worried about the wind, to be honest. Thank God you are not camping.

apprenticemum · 27/05/2011 12:31

Won't you look silly if you cancell the trip and six weeks later DS comes down with it from another source. Get the chicken pox out of the way and early in the year too. My dd got it a 2 during one of the hottest times of the year which made it terribly uncomfortable for her.

SoupDragon · 27/05/2011 12:38

Go.
He will get chicken pox sometime anyway. This way you can be prepared.
He won't remember it at all at this age.
He will be far less whingey than when he is older and realises illness is something to be milked
Chances are he won't get it unntil it is really inconvenient for you anyway.

Pandemoniaa · 27/05/2011 12:46

Go. The other child is almost certainly NOT contagious now but also, there's no guarantee that your ds would catch CP now anyway. I waited until I was 31 to get CP and my dcs (then aged 4 and 2) spent part of the week counting my spots. Neither of them caught it. Instead, they waited until they were 12 and 10 and ds1 one developed a full adult case and was really ill. ds2 just sailed through it after a slight temperature and a very few spots. Given the choice I'd have much preferred them to have caught it from me!

But if you cancel this holiday, what's to say that your ds isn't already incubating CP from everyday contacts in the real world? You've no idea whether another child at nursery, say, has already infected him.

Pinkjenny · 27/05/2011 12:54

Thank you all. I feel slightly much better.

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betterwhenthesunshines · 27/05/2011 12:56

Go. I was going to say make sure you take medicine etc but if your son gets it, it won't come out until you are all safely back home anyway.

harassedinherpants · 27/05/2011 13:01

I'd say go and hope that he gets it on your return!

I got it at 16 and was sooo ill it's not true. I remember it like it's yesterday. I was also still infectious at CSE/GCSE and had to take some exams whilst still feeling ill and in isolation. Plus not being able to revise properly.

My dad caught it too..... He was in bed for days, and he never gets ill.

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