My mum has been going out with this man for about 7 years. I wasn't sure about him from the start. He's very stiff and military like and seems to think he's gods gift. He's also extreamly sexest and thinks that a woman should do everything for her usband, shouldn't work and should never be involved in buisness.
He is a complete control freak and keeps playing mind games with my mum. He'll tell her to go out with me and enjoy herself, then when she gets home, he'll scream and shout at her for going out! When she says but you told me to, he says "But you didn't have to did you?"
He looses his temper at the drop of a hat and screams and swears at her every day.
He's also seing another women. My mum knows about this and he doesn't try to hide the fact. He even compares her to mum saying how she'd never serve him a meal that wasn't 100% to his liking etc.
My mum moved with him to Australia to try to get him away from her and to have a fresh start, but he was still phoning her every day and even had a fling with someone else while he was over there.
mum tells me all the things he's said and done, and I'll listen and tell her it's not her fault, it's him! I just wish she'd listen to me and leave the bastard!
He's now started hitting her as well. She's had several bruses that she now admits was him.
She feels trapped because she now has no money. She's broke after having to move to Austrailia and back and giving up her very good job. She's now struggeling to find work and without im, she couldn't pay her mortgage and would have to sell her house.
She used to be such a bubbly, happy, lively person but recently she's changed. She's said she feels like all the fun and spirit has been sucked out of her. I agreed and said that he was the vaccume. She agreed with this.
I don't know what to do. I keep telling myself that it's her decision and that she'll only be treated as badly as se allows herself to be, but it's really hard! I see the spark being drained out of her and she can't or won't leave him. She's said that he isn't an asshole all the time and can be quite nice sometimes. she dosn't want to be on her own either and worries that she wouldn't find anyone else at her age. I think part of her doesn't want to loose him to this woman, that way she'll have won, and all her efforts will have been for nothing.
Is there anything I can say or do? I've been thinking about it for so long, and now it's reached the stage that he's hitting her, I really feel that I should try my hardedst to make her see sence. She probubly won't listen to me, but I have to try.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To desperatly want my mum to leave her abusive boyfriend.
12 replies
mummyloveslucy · 26/05/2011 20:06
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.