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How old should little boys be when they use the men's room instead of the Ladies' room with Mum?

(322 Posts)
missinglalaland Thu 26-May-11 17:50:29

I only have two girls, so I don't know the ins and outs of parenting boys. Sometimes I am surprised at the height and age of boys being steered into the "ladies" room by their mothers. Often with Fathers waiting outside!!! (Lazy gits.) I am thinking that in a place like a train station you should expect to see mum's being fairly protective, but I get a bit annoyed in places like National Trust toilets, when the boys seem embarrassed/interested.

What's the proper etiquette?

MoreBeta Thu 26-May-11 17:53:45

The rule we used with DSs was as follows:

DW on her own take boys into Ladies up to age 8 and send into Disabled thereafter.

Me on my own or with DW take boys into Gents.

Boys are not generally allowed in Ladies changing rooms after age 8 in sports clubs.

hanaka88 Thu 26-May-11 17:54:48

Depends on the child, SN or behaviour issues. But my brother is 10 and he goes alone... But I wait outside for him.

bluebobbin Thu 26-May-11 17:55:23

I think up to about 8. However, there are plenty of tall well built 8 year olds who look about 11.

ladysybil Thu 26-May-11 17:55:28

8 and over should not be in ladies changing rooms. that means either they use the mens, or the family uses family rooms or disabled ones.

hanaka88 Thu 26-May-11 17:56:17

Beta are your kids disabled? If not then why are they using the disabled toilets?

hanaka88 Thu 26-May-11 17:56:33

Beta are your kids disabled? If not then why are they using the disabled toilets?

MrSpoc Thu 26-May-11 17:57:02

age 8??? aint that a little old?

id take the boys into the gents as often as I could but when they get to about 5 there is no reason why they cant got in on their own if you are waiting outside.

LordOfTheFlies Thu 26-May-11 17:57:57

DS was about 8 with strict rules to go in,do his stuff,wash hands,out and talk to nobody.
If we went to mototway service stations I was maybe take him til ( yo, after that I'd wait outside the gents getting funny looks.(Maybe they thought I was a perv)blush

LordOfTheFlies Thu 26-May-11 17:58:57

take him til 9yo at motorways services (for crying out load,keyboard)

MrSpoc Thu 26-May-11 17:59:01

Beta yes why after aged 8 do you send them into disabled? why not just send them into the gents? or do you think that all men are pedo's???

betterwhenthesunshines Thu 26-May-11 17:59:13

I take my children to the disabled toilets too. I don't see the problem if there's nobody disabled who needs to use them and there's huge queue for the ladies confused It's just another loo.

2gorgeousboys Thu 26-May-11 18:00:06

DS2 is just 7 and if we are on our own I would take him into the Ladies with me. If DS1 or DH are with us then he goes into the Gents with them.

I worry less about taking him into toilets with me than swimming/sports changing rooms because he would not see anything more than fully clothed ladies entering a cubicle and coming out a couple of minutes later, where as a changing room may make people more conscious as there is a good chance of ladies in various states of undress. Whilst DS2 would not care less girls/ladies may be embarrassed!

mumblechum1 Thu 26-May-11 18:00:59

I'm laid back about most things so ds went alone from when he was about 7, however he went into a loo at LHR with his dad a minute behind him and a guy was wanking (hand down trousers) and talking to ds. He was q old, about 11.

DH steered ds out pdq!

LadyOfTheManor Thu 26-May-11 18:01:17

I would say about 8. Depends where it is. If it's a busy train station for example, I'd take him in with me. If it's somewhere like, Pizza Express, I'd send him in on his own and wait outside the door (and not at the table). Depends where we are, and if dh is with us.

LadyOfTheManor Thu 26-May-11 18:02:04

There is that terrible story of the 2 little lads (brothers about 7 and 9 I think) being raped in a Macdonalds while there dad waited by the main entrance for them to quickly run in and wee.

That thought haunts me.

squeakytoy Thu 26-May-11 18:02:10

what is the difference between National Trust and a railway station then??? grin

LadyOfTheManor Thu 26-May-11 18:03:51

There's only 2 toilets in most NT places?! (I am guessing).

edam Thu 26-May-11 18:05:17

OP, are you American? Just seems odd to say 'men's room'.

ds is 8 and quite tall for his age so we both feel awkward if I have to take him into Ladies with me. But in some circumstances, like main line London stations, I'm not happy about sending him to the Gents on his own.

heliumballoons Thu 26-May-11 18:05:29

My DS is 6yo. If its somewhere really busy and/or I need to go he comes in with me. If he needs to go he goes to the gents alone and I wait outside.

I would think by 8 I'd be happy to let him go in alone and then come outside and wait if I've gone into ladies. My next step is to get him to wait outside if I go in alone - when he's learnt to stand still nd not get drawn to things like a fly to paper. grin

4madboys Thu 26-May-11 18:17:50

depends on where we are, the eldest two 8 and 11 go on their own to the mens loos, tho occasionally if i am somehwere very and i dont know what the toilets are like etc then i will take the 8 yr old in with me, but generally yes once 8 yrs old they go into the mens.

6 and 3 yr old i take into the ladies.

LordOfTheFlies Thu 26-May-11 18:24:10

Mr Spoc would you really send a 5 yo into the mens alone?
Apart from the safety aspect a strange toilet would be quite daunting don't you think?

SockShitter Thu 26-May-11 18:25:20

I hate these threads because if someone feels that there is a safety issue they have fallen victim to " DM peedo hysteria". They then have to justify their actions to people constantly saying "Why whats going to happen?"

Why do some people get so stressed about other parents proteting their children? Why get shitty about it?

Choufleur Thu 26-May-11 18:27:28

DS goes with DH if he is with us or with me if not (DS is 5). He occasionally goes on his own into the men's if it is somewhere quiet. I'm not worried about all men being potential paedophiles more me having to go in if he yells for some random reason (like he can't undo the button on his trousers)

muffinflop Thu 26-May-11 18:28:27

Boys can't actually see through doors so why does it matter if they're in the ladies toilets?? I'd be more concerned at a girl in the mens with willies on show at the urinals!

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