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AIBU?

To think my neighbour is disgusting

51 replies

whatever17 · 25/05/2011 01:13

I live on a (very nice) council estate where the vast majority of people have been here for years and pass their houses on to their kids. It's really good and most people try hard to be good neighbours or at least "keep themselves to themselves" (a London phrase I think).

Anyway - about 3 doors away there is this gross woman. At first my DS2 used to play in the street with their kids (this was about 3 years ago). Then the kids started playing a lot a knock down ginger on my door. One day it was every minute for about 2 hours. They were only about 7 at the time. I opened the door for the 100th time and said, very nicely, I know it is you and I have been watching you through the peephole, I am quite tired of this now and if you do it again I will tell your Mummy. They did it again a minute later.

I then said, very nicely, I did warn you and now I am going to tell your Mum. I went to the door and said - "I am sure my kid is just as bad and it is 6 of one and half a dozen of the other but would you mind asking them not to do it any more today and please let me know if my kid is up to it too?"

I said this to the husband and he went ballistic. From then on there have been "evil eyes" in the street and if all of us go out to the ice cream van at the same time she visibly "protects" her kids from me.

A few days ago the ex-husband turned up in his van with a woman in the passenger seat. The gross woman (who I secrectly call Biffa Bacon) started screaming in the street - for about 30 minutes.

She said the most disgusting things in front of her kids. One thing was "every time you go down on him you taste me" - I felt like gagging. And it was so loud I couldn't avoid it.

At school today her DS (9) said to my DS2 (11) "why don't you go home and fuck your dog?"

I hate her. She is a prison warden and it just makes me shudder to think what she is up to in prison.

OP posts:

Report

HalfPastWine · 25/05/2011 01:21

For someone who's a prison warden she certainly has no people skills from the sound of it. She sounds a really hard and a horrible person.
That comment she came out with is really disgusting. Keep your fingers crossed she gets moved to another prison and has to move away!!!

BooyHoo · 25/05/2011 01:25

what do you mean it makes you shudder what she gets up to in prison? i dont understand that bit.

but yes she is vile. her poor dcs.

whatever17 · 25/05/2011 01:29

BooyHoo - I just feel sorry for the prisoners that she has a bunch of keys and power over people. I have no idea about her job or prisoners - I just think if she is that gross then how professional can she be?

OP posts:

BooyHoo · 25/05/2011 01:32

ah right yes i see what you mean. you can only hope that her colleagues are by the book and wont stand for her verbally abusing any of the inmates.

whatever17 · 25/05/2011 01:33

I also wondered if I was wrong to go to the door in the first place and complain about the knock down ginger.

Another neighbour complained to me last week about one of my kids and I apologised very, very much and sent my kid round to apologise too. And then made a point of waving and smiling next time I saw them.

I was deeply embarrassed and gave my kid a massive, massive telling off.

OP posts:

Mumofaflump · 25/05/2011 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Punkatheart · 25/05/2011 08:35

A prison warder? Good grief. She sounds as if she has no control or possibly mental issues. Either way, that is not the right job for her. Like you, I dread to think what she says to prisoners at work - or maybe she picks up her charming phraseology from there.

I think that reporting her may be counter-productive - it would not take her long to realise that it was you. But she is creating a public nuisance. I think you have to make a hard decision whether to report her. She cannot make your life a misery - shouting obscenities at your children. Not on.

BeamMysterious · 25/05/2011 08:42

Is this genuine? It sounds unbelievable.

I'm pretty sure I watched this scenario on Jeremy Kyle 19/05/2011

TattyDevine · 25/05/2011 08:49

You sound fine OP. That biffer woman sounds vile!!!

What a comment to make.

Gah.

Takes all kinds eh.

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 08:57

It was the husband who went balistic at the door when you knocked not the woman, i am not excusing it but it sounds as though they were going through a marrage break up, a very stressful time.

She may have depression following the break up. Yes, she is wrong for using such language in front of her children but knowing how she feels he shouldn't have had the OW in the van, perhaps. You cannot judge her totally on this, she just not be coping with her marrage ending. You don't know the version of events told to her by her now ex husband, so working full time in a stressful job and going through living in a bad marriage, she may have thought it easier to keep her children away from you.

Report the child using such language to the head. You cannnot judge how she may be in the workplace.

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 08:58

Lovely name you have for her btw, is that a nickname you give her based on appearance? Has this been said out load, ever to anyone?

tiredgranny · 25/05/2011 09:03

one of my friends is a prison officer went on night out with her n colleagues i have never met such a foul mouth bunch of people they were all drunk and ended up all taking tops of in nightclub it was always like this on night out so i et the friendship slip

Punkatheart · 25/05/2011 09:04

Sorry but a marriage break up and a stressful job does not excuse screaming abuse in the street. Ever. You are making the woman into a victim, rather than our OP - who is suddenly guilty by calling the woman 'gross' on a thread. Such anti-social behaviour IS gross. This sort of behaviour up and down the country makes people miserable, communities stressed and yes, helps populate shows like Jeremy Kyle.

Don't make excuses for vile behaviour.

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 09:10

But she hasn't screamed abuse at the OP, only at the ex H, not ideal but it does happen. There isn't an ongoing problem with the neighbour, the womans lost it once because her ex turned up for the DC's with a OW. She should have not done it but people lapse when stressed. There is no need to start a witch hunt, professionlly speaking.

Tiredgranny-i used to work in health, you will find such behaviour everywhere, doesn't mean they aren't in their jobs for the right reasons or that they don't do it well.

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 09:11

Why is the OP linking the ex H behaviour with this woman? she is not responsible.

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 09:13

punkaheart- if you re-read my post i didn't excuse the shouting of abuse, i said that it was probably easier to justy keep the children away fron the OP, what was wrong with that, exactly?

Pictish · 25/05/2011 09:18

Agree with Birdsgottafly.

And whoever suggested lodging complaint with her work??

Just...just...GAH! I read some nonsense on here.

whomovedmychocolate · 25/05/2011 09:20

She sounds like a chav, avoid her as much as possible and if she's in council housing you could report her. It may not be just you who is suffering. Your entire street probably heard her shouting.

TragicallyHip · 25/05/2011 09:22

She sounds like a charmer..

Butterbur · 25/05/2011 09:25

"The vast majority of people have been here for years and pass their houses on to their kids."

Really? How does that work then? Do the children of council house tenants not have to go on a waiting list, according to their points, like everybody else?

Pictish · 25/05/2011 09:26

So - the husband was the one who went crazy at the OP in the first incident...so not the woman's fault.

Then, he turned up with his fancy bit in tow, and the woman went mad.

I think her husband is the disgusting one here.

Not sure as a neighbour though, what the OPs concern is?

fifitot · 25/05/2011 09:31

I think it's quite legal for a council house to be taken over by the resident chldren, nothing wrong there afaik Butterbur.

BTW - horrid woman OP. I have worked in a prison and most people are very nice and normal, so that's not an issue really.

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whomovedmychocolate · 25/05/2011 09:43

It's called rights of succession. And yes it's legal but the council does need to agree to it.

Butterbur · 25/05/2011 09:45

It seems entirely wrong to me. Everybody should have to apply for a council house on the same basis.

Punkatheart · 25/05/2011 09:46

But her children, who are clearly picking up her language, ARE abusing the OP's children verbally. Would you like to live next to someone like this?

I just like a quiet life. Shouting and screaming in the street riles me.

There was recently a fantastic series on social housing and people who deal with complaints and applications. They were quick to respond to people making other people's lives a misery.

To me, it is about CONTROL. If I have a problem I discuss and yes, I may shout. But not in the street. Why would you do that?

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