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to be sick to death of having to put up with other people's dogs

(290 Posts)
WriterofDreams Tue 24-May-11 14:38:57

I am not a dog person. I think they're nice but I don't want to pet a dog or be anywhere near them really. This partly comes from being attacked by a dog as a young child.

This was never a problem when I lived in Ireland, where a dog is a subservient pet that is to be kept in line. In busy areas dogs are generally kept on a lead at all times and IME if a loose dog ever came up to me the owner always apologised and pulled the dog away. In the park where I used to go walking any dog that wasn't on a lead was taken away by the pound, whether the owner was close by or not. This was to protect the wildlife in the area.

Since moving to England I have come to hate dogs, not really through any fault of their own. There is a common near me where I often go walking with DS, who thankfully is still in a pram so I don't have to worry about him. On every single occasion, often more than once, a large dog has come up to me, often running. On a couple of occasions a dog has jumped up on me, scaring the absolute shit out of me. On practically every occasion the owner has either not been anywhere in the vicinity (as the dog has run far ahead of them) or has smiled indulgently and uttered the immortal phrase "he is very friendly!" before feebly calling the dog and offering no apology for the fact that dog invaded my space and scared me. On a few occasions I have been scared witless by dogs viciously fighting on the path.

AIBU to think the owners have a responsibility to keep their dogs close to them and not allow them to harrass other people?

Fimbo Tue 24-May-11 14:42:52

I do agree with you but this will open a whole can of worms. It is the owners fault. If you know the dog is liable to jump and run at people then fgs put it on a lead. We were in a park the other day where a puppy (I know, I know) came running at dd whilst she was on the tyre swing. Dd got a fright and I hate to think if it had been a younger child they could have fallen off and hurt themselves badly. The owner came over and said "she is only a puppy", I know that, the tyre swing was obvious, would it not have been sensible to put the puppy on the lead until they were passed?

coccyx Tue 24-May-11 14:44:39

YABU. dogs are great....get over your phobia

WriterofDreams Tue 24-May-11 14:46:17

I hope you're not serious coccyx. God how I hate the "he/she's only a puppy" line. In my experience puppies are the most unpredictable of the lot, and can give a nasty bite.

zukiecat Tue 24-May-11 14:48:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WriterofDreams Tue 24-May-11 14:50:00

It's not a phobia I have anyway - it's a genuine fear, given that my fear actually was proven to be justified when I was attacked. Even if I wasn't afraid of them I would still object to them jumping up on me and putting their muddy paws on my clothes.

mrsbunnthebaker Tue 24-May-11 14:50:11

you are being very unreasonable just by using the phrase "invading my space"


WriterofDreams Tue 24-May-11 14:51:02

So MrsBunn, I don't have the right to walk along the common without a dog coming right up to me and getting in my way?

Ragwort Tue 24-May-11 14:51:25

Totally agree with you, I hate being approached by dogs - worried that they might jump up at me or my child, or slobbered over. Also agree re: the indulgent 'he won't hurt you'.

samc007 Tue 24-May-11 14:53:30

I am a dog owner (2 lovely alsatians very friendly) but they are kept on leads when walking and only let off leads when we are sure no one else is around. If we see anyone else they go back on their leads. I think dog owners need to have responsibility for their pets and be aware not everyone likes dogs or wants to give them a fuss.

Quite often what appears to us humans as 'vicious fighting' is actually just the dogs playing, my two do this often and if I didn't know them I would assume they were trying to kill each other. I agree it can be frightening to witness if they're not your dogs and again they should be on their leads. I don't get why people think their dogs just 'have' to run free when other people are around. I trust my dogs completely but they are dogs and therefore not predictable and so I don't take unnecessary risks.

Yanbu to expect an apology for being jumped all over, yabu if you think all dog owners are going to keep their dogs on leads and be polite.

QueenCee Tue 24-May-11 14:54:17

I think YABU. Owners would not have their dogs off the lead if they were vicious so it would be very unlikely you would come to any harm.
People who dont like dogs though,never do themselves any favours. Ignore the dog totally. IME dog haters get all flappy and hysterical. My dog thinks this is the best game and will jump up! Ignore her and she ignores you. Some woman started jabbing a broom at her once and the dog loved it!!! Thinking it was a game she jumped up and barked to play.
You really shouldn't instill your phobia on your child... You should always be cautious of dogs but not afraid and it's not fair for your child to be scared of dogs because you're so anti.
It's a dog FFS, not a bloody grizzly bear!

aldiwhore Tue 24-May-11 14:54:32

I love dogs but many owners are mostly stupid (the ones you notice) and expect you to know whether you have cause to be afraid or not. YANBU.

I think too many owners expect other's to love their dogs as much as they do. I think too many owners are too defensive.

I don't have a dog now, but have always had one growing up and if you're responsible there's rarely an issue. Problems are always down to the owners, either not giving a shite about anyone else, or wearing rose tinted glasses in the belief that their dog is the ONLY dog who'd never ever bite or be too rough.

Good dog owners slip under the radar somewhat as they are responsible, and their incidents much less, but I do think they're still in the majority.

kerala Tue 24-May-11 14:54:46

I was bitten on the face as a child by a black lab and according to the owner it way my fault - never quite worked out how I was 4 years old at the time minding my own business in my own garden when the dog ran in and bit me hmm. So am with you OP!

zukiecat Tue 24-May-11 14:55:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itisnearlysummer Tue 24-May-11 14:56:05

"don't worry he won't bite..."

how many times has that been said by a dog owner right before it bit someone?

I don't dislike dogs (but they do smell and drag their arses along the carpet) and always thought I would have one when I was a grown up and I might still do one day.

However, I do dislike 'doggy people'. Not people who have dogs, who train and care for the animal living in their home.

But 'doggy people' really annoy me!

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 24-May-11 14:56:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MackerelOfFact Tue 24-May-11 14:57:44

YANBU to think think that people should keep their dogs under control or at least be apologetic if their dogs cause a nuisance, but YABU to think that dogs (or any other animals) are likely to be able to respect your personal space.

itisnearlysummer Tue 24-May-11 14:59:04

"I trust my dogs completely but they are dogs and therefore not predictable and so I don't take unnecessary risks."

samc007 now see this is the sort of dog owner i like!

Al0uiseG Tue 24-May-11 14:59:46

"This was never a problem when I lived in Ireland, where a dog is a subservient pet that is to be kept in line"

Or kept in a 4x4 cage forced to churn out litter after litter, never eat nutritionally sound food or run around freely. Animal cruelty and puppy farming are rife in Ireland so please don't hold it up as a paragon of dog treatment and behaviour.

samc007 Tue 24-May-11 14:59:52

Owners would not have their dogs off the lead if they were vicious so it would be very unlikely you would come to any harm

A dog doesn't have to be vicious to bite, it could have been frightened and reacted. As a dog owner you can't ever be 100% about how your dog will behave or how others reactions to your dog may cause it to react. And ime some owners don't care if their dog is vicious and they let it roam the street of my neighbours is such an owner and their dog attacked several other dogs in the street and people walking down the road. Not everyone has common sense or a conscience.

ChaoticAngelbitchfromhell Tue 24-May-11 15:00:16

YANBU I speak as a dog owner.

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 24-May-11 15:00:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

samc007 Tue 24-May-11 15:01:06

Thank you itsnearlysummer

WriterofDreams Tue 24-May-11 15:02:24

QueenCee, it is your attitude that pisses me off. You're making out it's my fault that the dog approaches me, rather than the fault of the owner who allows their dog to do it. I'm never "flappy and hysterical" in fact I do my best to ignore dogs but they still approach me. I am totally aware a dog isn't a grizzly bear confused but that doesn't mean I'm not afraid of them. I should, I think be able to walk on a public common without having to fend off dogs all the time.

I'm not instilling any phobia as I do not have a phobia. I have a genuine fear that doesn't interfere with my life. I am able to walk past dogs with no problem, I can even pet a dog if the owner is around and I'm given a chance to get to know the dog, it is strange dogs that I don't know that I have a problem with and their owners who don't apologise for the fact that their dog has got mud all over my clothes. The dog who attacked me was a beloved family pet (not mine) who chased me up the street without provocation and bit me.

Vallhala Tue 24-May-11 15:02:46

I feel the same about other people's children.

May I remind you, wrt your remark about dogs being "subservient pets" in Ireland, that the Irish have got one of the worst cruelty and abuse rates in Eurpoe, a disgraceful attitude about dogs overall and their laws on dog welfare haven't been changed or updated for well over 100 years. They also refuse to join the 21st century (and the rest of us) and sign the EU mandate on dog welfare.

Ireland is on the whole a fucking disgrace, despised by their own Animal Welfare nationals and it's people guilty of an enormous amount of dog abuse, dog "trafficking" to be abused and eaten in other countries, dog abandonment and puppy farming.

As a rational, responsible dog owner, I think YABU.

As someone who regularly used to rescue dogs from Ireland and get them into the safety of no kill rescue in the UK I think that anyone who gives Ireland as an example of good dog ownership and welfare practice is unspeakably unreasonable.

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