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to feel sad that no one has ever loved me enough to marry me?

(20 Posts)
Caan Sat 21-May-11 22:49:12

normally I couldn't care less, but I've just watched a wedding on the telly and I feel a bit wistful.

worraliberty Sat 21-May-11 22:50:09

That's a big question really.

Have you had many long term relationships?

sunshineandbooks Sat 21-May-11 22:50:29

Judging by the posts in Relationships, try to think of it as a lucky escape instead wink

AgentZigzag Sat 21-May-11 22:51:15

Would it be crass to ask how old you are?

purplepaynepurplerain Sat 21-May-11 22:53:12

You could look at it the other way, i.e. you were not stupid enough to marry the wrong man.

It is not over yet, there is still time, to marry the right man for the right reasons, you never know whats around the corner.

bubblecoral Sat 21-May-11 22:58:30

Someone probably has, it's just that you didn't love them back.

And remember that behind every beautiful wedding, there are countless complaints about the guest list, seating arrangements, menu choices, gift list options, supplier hassles, the list is endless!

Caan Sat 21-May-11 22:58:39

I'm 41, 4 children all with the same dad and even he didn't want to marry me. I've had 3 serious relationships I suppose, was relatively young for the first two though.

Bumfuzzle Sat 21-May-11 23:01:29

oh pet sad it's not about loving you. there are people who just don't want to get married and it has nothing to do with how much they love someone. Don't think it's you.

Meglet Sat 21-May-11 23:01:44

I know what you mean. I've managed to get to 37 with two not very long term relationships (18mo and 4yrs) and that's it. I think I repel men hmm.

Better than marrying the wrong one and making an utter balls up of it though.

AgentZigzag Sat 21-May-11 23:01:45

Pah! 41, in the prime of life then <<hits 40 this year grin>>

Having 4 children with him sounds like he was seriously into you (and I don't mean it in that way grin) so you're hardly unlovable.

nijinsky Sat 21-May-11 23:02:47

Some of the nicest women I know are inexplicably single, while some of the nastiest, laziest and most unattractive are with lovely men. I don't get it sometimes. Perhaps a degree of cunning is required if you are not naturally lucky early on or something!

Caan Sat 21-May-11 23:10:19

he didn't love me either, I think he hated me eventually, I left him in the end and have been single ever since.

Bumfuzzle Sat 21-May-11 23:16:54

marriages can go the same way. look how many divorces there are.

I just don't want you to feel like there is something fundimentally unloveable about you. Everyone deserves and is worthy of love.

bubblecoral Sat 21-May-11 23:20:40

That's very true Nijinsky, I know of people the same. Some horrible horrible people seem to end up with lovely partners, while some gorgeous lovely people I know are eternally single. I have no idea what that's about!

Caan Sat 21-May-11 23:25:28

I think i'm just feeling lonely tonight, haven't spoken to anyone all day.

Pancakeflipper Sat 21-May-11 23:31:07

Come here Caan. Let's eat choccie digestives together. I have been with DP for over 10 yrs. Have a couple of kids. Not married. He did ask me in a romantic manner to live with him. I mistook that for possible marriage proposal. But with hindsight I think he meant 'pair up my socks, cook yummy food, host entertaining evenings for my friends and business clients oh and have my kids.'

I amuse myself by reading the Bridezilla threads. I'll never wed now. Not after reading those. Shudders.

Caan Sat 21-May-11 23:38:31

can we have wine with those biscuits?

Pancakeflipper Sat 21-May-11 23:39:52

Ooh yes. Just pouring.

Caan Sat 21-May-11 23:47:28

I've just about finished a bottle already

superv1xen Sun 05-Jun-11 17:20:36

do you know what, marriage SHOULD be about loving someone, but often it isn't. often people propose just because their OH wants them to or they feel they should (i know a few cases of this myself) in fact i married my ex because we had been together so long i felt we "ought to" and guess what, it ended inside a year grin and for what its worth i then met and married new DH and we are really happy.

so don't assume that no one has loved you "enough" it isn't always as black and white as that. i hope you feel a bit more positive today (and not too hungover haha)

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