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To think getting through this 4m growth spurt/sleep regression is the hardest thing I have ever done?

(32 Posts)
Moulesfrites Fri 20-May-11 08:47:40

No exaggeration. I mean, the early weeks were hard but you kind of expect the exhaustion and steel yourself through it, but I have been absolutely floored by the tiredness caused by 17 week old ds waking every 2/3 hours at night for the past few weeks.

Last night it got even worse because I couldn't get myself beck to sleep in between him waking at 12 and 3! I was. So upset I had to go downstairs and cry in frustration at not being able to sleep. I also have a cold and so couldnt really breathe through my nose properly - I plugged in ds's karvol thing and couldn't even smell it!

I know I will face many more challenges as a parent but did anyone else find this really hard? I am determined to ebf but even dh had started to suggest a bottle to help ds sleep a bit longer, but I know I will regret doing this. Sorry, I had to rant and get this off my chest. Does anyone have any survival tips?

Mumofaflump Fri 20-May-11 08:58:08

Hey, very un-mumsnetty hugs coming your way.

DS is 21 weeks tomorrow and has literally just, in the last week started sleeping through. The 4 month mark was awful, clingy, grumpy, wouldn't sleep etc. One day though, I realised suddenly he was much happier.

You will get through it, one day soon you'll wake up at 7am and wonder why the baby hasn't called yet!

Sleep when you can, say sod it to the housework, put your feet up and rest.

SmethwickBelle Fri 20-May-11 09:04:41

I think you are right that once the newborn excitement and adrenaline has worn off things can suddenly seem overwhelming. Broken sleep sucks. You expect it... then if you don't have a perfect sleeper you realise you're stuck with it. It may pass but even if it doesn't you'll get much better at coping with the broken sleep.

I'm not convinced anything much remedies it other than time. I've used bottles and they're not a magic wand - if you are currently BF exclusively the formula may bugger about with the babes digestion and then you'll be wondering if its the constipation that's keeping them awake.... This was just my experience although I shifted over to bottles wholesale at this point as BF and expressing was just not working and having DH able to do some feeds was a sanity saver.

I never had a sleep regression as such with mine - they just both liked waking up a lot! My 18m old still beggars about on occasion but it isn't a big deal, I ignore him if he's chatting or griping, and can shove a few books and toys in the cot if he's woken stupidly early.

Sorry that was a ramble - but it will all even out in time, hang in there.

TadlowDogIncident Fri 20-May-11 09:07:07

YANBU - huge sympathy. I was literally wishing I could die between DS being 16 and 24 weeks, when he was waking every 2 hours to feed every night. He wouldn't nap for more than half an hour during the day either (and was feeding even more frequently then), so there was no question of me catching up on any sleep during the day. Plus DS was horrible at that stage - clingy, whingy, always either feeding or crying, so there were just no positives. It was much, much worse than the newborn stage - he actually slept more as a newborn.

DS wouldn't take a bottle (we tried everything: he never did), but I would definitely have been willing to let someone give him one! If you really want to EBF, could you express some milk so that your DH can give a bottle at one of the night feeds to give you a bit of a break?

Hang in there: our DS is now 9 months and for the last few nights has slept through from 7 p.m. to 6.30 a.m., and is now a pretty cheerful soul. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

ComradeJing Fri 20-May-11 09:08:05

YANBU. My DD is 4m too. It is WAY worse than newborn stuff.

<cries with tiredness>

WriterofDreams Fri 20-May-11 09:13:40

My DS is at around exactly the same stage. Sigh. He's never been a good sleeper but last night he woke at 10:30, 12, 3, 4:30 and 6. That's bad even for him.

It's only in the last month or so that I was starting to feel somewhat normal and now I'm back to that horrible fuggy haze of the newborn stage. It sucks. Bigtime. I even cried yesterday and that's not typical of me.

I bf but since DS was very little DH has been doing one formula feed a night and that has kept me going. Just knowing I'll get at least 4 hours sleep stops me from going right over the edge. The formula probably won't help him sleep any longer (it never did for my DS) but if your DH can give it to him then at least you can have that little bit longer in bed. At this stage it won't affect your supply at all. In fact it has never affected my supply even though I've done it right from the start.

thelittlefriend Fri 20-May-11 09:14:10

Stay strong - it honestly will pass. The only thing that might make you feel less tired is getting some rest in the day, but I know it's easier said than done. It won't feel as tough when you're colds gone either.

shmoz Fri 20-May-11 09:24:29

Feeling your pain OP, 4month sleep regression immediately followed by teething plus facial eczema thrown in.

DS is 6mo now, he's only waking every 2-3hrs now (as opposed to every 1-2hrs over the last 2 months) - a 3 hour sleep stint is such a bonus. We're going away soon and I fear that Ryanair will make me check myself into the hold owing to the size of the bags under my eyes shock

I haven't given in to the bottle either (despite friends & family banging on about it) - from what I've read/heard it doesn't always work, DS cot is next to my bed so I figure it's actually easier on me to keep bfing rather than faffing about with bottles in the middle of the night.

It will get better though, as the other posters have said its a case of hanging in there, sod the housework and sleep whenever you can.

SusiaX Fri 20-May-11 10:17:48

This sounds like my DS. He's EBF but teased me by sleeping through (7.30-6.30) from 16-18 weeks then started waking twice a night and still is at 25 weeks. I guess I should be grateful that it is only twice but he used to self settle and now just won't and most of the time only sleeps for 30-40 minutes at a time during the day. Most nights he won't settle back in his cot either so is in bed with us from about 3 or 4 o'clock.

I'm hoping that weaning may help but not overly optimistic. I waited until DD slept through before putting her in her own room at 30 weeks but may try kicking DS out to see if he sleeps better as we don't have blackout curtains in our room so the light mornings might be part of the problem – can you tell I'm clutching at straws?

If it's any consolation it doesn't last forever, DD is over 2 and sleeps from about 7.30-6.30 or sometimes later and at the moment has a nap after lunch for anything from 2 to over 3 hours and she would only go to sleep sucking my finger when she was a baby!

Zimm Fri 20-May-11 10:19:41

YANBU - My DD slept through until 4 months and then at 19 weeks on the dot it all went horribly wrong. 4 month olds are hard work - they want to do stuff but they can't, they tend to be dreadful nappers in addition to poor night time sleep. We're at 9 months here and just come through the 8/9 month sleep regression, she still doesn't sleep through but we are down to one night waking. but yeah, 4 months is really, really hard and worst than newborn stage IMHO.

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason Fri 20-May-11 10:20:15

YANBU, nightmare! But someone will be along in a minute to tell you that you don't know you're born, wait til you have teenagers... grin

No advice or help, but sending good thoughts.

nethunsreject Fri 20-May-11 10:22:27

Aw, it is bloody hard going.

Plus the relentlessness of parenthood hits about then.

I remember being in floods of tears with ds1 at this stage, and he was relatively easy! Ds2 is far harder going, but at least I know it will pass this time.

have some brew and a biscuit from me.

NewYorkBellini Tue 24-May-11 06:38:25

ummm, so when does it stop? i don't remember a 4 month sleep regression with ds as he was such a bad sleeper anyway he couldn't get any worse!

dd has been sleeping through for the last 2 weeks (9 until about 6) she is 16 weeks tomorrow and is now a night mare to get to sleep, has a full on melt down, no naps during the day and wake ups every hour at night sad

<sobs>

naturalbaby Sat 04-Jun-11 21:04:23

my baby is 18 weeks. 1 week down, how many more to go?!?
i'm too tired and exhausted to cry and my nearly 2yr old is leaping around his cot till 8:30/9pm every night as well.
my ears are ringing from the screaching. it went on for well over a month with ds1 and was horrendous, we started early weaning then ended up cc a month later. i really can't face going through all that again with 2 older toddlers to deal with on top of it.

kelly2525 Sat 04-Jun-11 21:16:57

God, I hope this doesnt sound boasty, I just wanted to say Ive got an 18 week old, and thankfully he`s a good sleeper, but I dont go to bed early, so his last feed is at midnight when im still up and he sleeps through until 7-8am, but I am well aware of the screeching, when hes awake he babbles REALLY loudly for hours which then turns into screeching/whingeing when hes tired and worn himself out.

He wants his dummy, but spits it out, then squeals for it to be put back in, 50 times!

The more my little demon angel eats during the day the longer he sleeps at night, and luckily he seems to like all his vegetable and fruit purees, so far the only thing he hasnt liked is baby cauliflower cheese, which smells like sweaty socks, so cant blame him for that

7to25 Sat 04-Jun-11 21:53:29

I notice that Kelly is feeding her baby solids!
In the good old days we were told that when this sleep pattern altered to start feeding solids.Now we wait till six months. One of my children is huge 6'6" and when I offered a spoon of baby rice at 18 weeks, he nearly bit my hand off! he was starving!
There is actually no concrete evidence that "early" solid food does any harm.

kelly2525 Sat 04-Jun-11 22:08:53

He is on solids, and the health visitor was horrified, but if he had to wait until he was 6 months he would be eating the carpet.

Hes only getting fruit and veg purees and loves them, he started on baby rice at 12 weeks, and no doubt there will be many that think Im a bad Mother, but he was ready.

AnnieDanny Tue 21-Jun-11 15:52:12

Can I join in...another (first time) Mum shocked at the sudden change in sleeping patterns at 4 months - just when I 'd got used to only one night time feed, DS throws the routine out of the window.. How long does it last? Please don't tell me it always goes on for months and months...!? Thanks everyone for your posts...it's reassuring to find out it seems to be normal...

RitaMorgan Tue 21-Jun-11 16:02:09

Solids at 12 weeks is ridiculous. If you're going to wean before 6 months at least wait til 17 weeks.

My ds slept 8 hours a night from 8-18 weeks, then it all went tits up until about 5 months - eventually I limited nightfeeds to 2 a night and DP did the wakings in between, and he did start sleeping better.

MrsSnaplegs Tue 21-Jun-11 16:18:09

AnnieDanny - um my Ds is 6.5 months now and still wakes through the night several times - sorry to disappoint. It is hard especially as I am back at work but somehow you cope, I coped for 3 1/2 years with my DD who wouldn't sleep thorugh until she was 4. Obiously I don't want the same with DS but at the moment think he is too young to try and "train" him with CC or anything. I tried CC with DD and it didn't work for us, not sure what we will try with DS

naturalbaby Wed 22-Jun-11 14:57:27

i've lost track a bit, think baby will be 21weeks this week and we're just about over it! he suddenly started rolling around all over the place - the wonder weeks book was spot on.

we're just about back to the gina ford routine we were in before so got a few weeks off then will start weaning! i've started trying to cut down night feeds which seems to be slowly working as well.

been there done early-ish weaning with ds1 and it made no difference so even though i think he would happily get stuck in now, he's still happy enough during the day to wait a few more weeks. there is evidence that the digestive system and kidneys are not ready or able to deal very well with anything other than milk before 17 weeks, so the later you leave it the more prepared and developed the digestive system is.

ChopMonster Wed 22-Jun-11 16:51:08

YANBU. DS decided to start his growth spurt/sleep regression at 14 weeks. He's 17 weeks now and it's horrendous. He was going 10 hours before this! He dropped back down to a couple of wake ups last week but it's back to 4/5 now. I'm going insane. He's teething too and refusing to BF a lot during the day, although he is ok at night thankfully. Just to add to the fun, he's gone back to thinking that 5am is awake time.

I feel worse than I did in the newborn days. Christ, he was going 5 hours at night then! He'll happily go 6 hours in the day (screams the place down if I so much as offer the breast) but struggles to go more than 2 at night. confused

ChopMonster Wed 22-Jun-11 16:52:54

Oh I hope my DS starts rolling soon naturalbaby. He is trying desperately and growling a lot and just ends up back shuffling around the floor. He wants to be sat up too but falls to the side so he gets annoyed at that too!

LotteryWinnersOnAcid Wed 22-Jun-11 17:24:17

YANBU. DS is 5 months now and waking every 1-2 hours to feed, has been since just before 4 months and it feels like we have never had a break from the newborn stage. He has been EBF from 4 weeks and I wish he would take a bottle but he flat refuses, and even with co sleeping (mastered feeding lying on side) I can't get any bloody sleep as I'm too hot and can feel him gnawing on my boob. And can't even have a pint of gin to take the edge off! I feel your pain.

BuntyCollocks Wed 22-Jun-11 17:31:44

YANBU. My ds is 20 weeks, slept 11-8 up to 10 weeks from birth, then it all went tits up. Last night was horrendous: 11:30, 1:30, 4:30, 6:30, finally up at 7:30. I'm dying. Teach me to be a smug new mum.

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