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AIBU?

to want to be known as Ms. rather than Miss. on my passport?

49 replies

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 08/05/2011 12:46

I have been married 5 years and have chosen not to change my surname to my husband's. My parents gave me the name Doll Dagga Buzzbuzz at birth.

On our joint account I am Ms. DG.Buzzbuzz as I prefer to be known as Ms. but on my passport and driving licence I am still Miss. Doll Dagga Buzzbuzz.

My passport is now due for renewal and I want to be officially known as Ms. Buzzbuzz but my husband says I will have to send off my marriage certificate to prove I am not a Miss anymore Angry

I have typed the question into google and was advised that I can change my title from Miss. to Ms. by deed poll with a charge of £5 Angry

I thought oh fuck it I will remain a Miss. then I don't remember ever requesting to be addressed as Miss in the first place. I wouldn't care about the damn title but I don't want a load of hassle at the airport if my flight tickets do not exactly match the details on my passport. Isn't there an option of NO title? Could I just remain a Miss. to keep things simpler?

AIBU?

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squeakytoy · 08/05/2011 12:49

just make sure your tickets match your passport and that is all you need to do

I had been married 8 years before I changed my passport to my married name, simply because I was too tight to buy a new one until it was needed...

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worraliberty · 08/05/2011 12:50

If it's that important just pay the fiver.

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ChristinedePizan · 08/05/2011 12:54

You don't have to change your name by deedpoll if you want to be known as Ms rather than Miss! Your husband is talking out of his arse - Ms is a generic term.

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colditz · 08/05/2011 12:55

you choose your own title. I use Ms - have never been married.

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MotherMountainGoat · 08/05/2011 12:56

Um, I'm a bit confused by the question. I've just checked my passport (issued in 2004) and there is no title given at all - miss, ms, mrs or anything. I certainly didn't inform the passport office when I got married, as I too didn't change my name.

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dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 08/05/2011 12:59

There is a box on the renewal form requesting your title. So can I just cross the title Ms. on the new passport form without sending off my marriage cert?

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BogChicken · 08/05/2011 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aliceliddell · 08/05/2011 13:08

YANBU - because it is your name. The whole point of Ms is to keep your idetity irrelevant of which man you live with, father or husband or none. Men don't change from Master to Mister, why should we?

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dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 08/05/2011 13:09

My husband has already completed my form and crossed the title Mrs. as he prefers. I don't mind as long as there is no hassle at the airport. I'm going to book my tickets today and I have to choose a title. I would really prefer no title at all.

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BluddyMoFo · 08/05/2011 13:10

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KatieMiddleton · 08/05/2011 13:10

There's nothing showing on a UK passport for title. The stuff on the form will just help them mail it back to you.

And the dvla don't care either. I've been Ms since I got my provisional licence at 16yo.

You can call yourself any title you like. Someone I know uses "Lord" for airline tickets in the hope of an upgrade and "doctor" on his bank account just because he can.

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BluddyMoFo · 08/05/2011 13:10

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KatieMiddleton · 08/05/2011 13:11

Why is your husband going against your wishes? I'd nip that one in the bid asap.

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dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 08/05/2011 13:14

Oh! In that case KateMidleton I think I would prefer to be known as Baroness Buzzbuzz.

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MercurySoccer · 08/05/2011 13:31

Change the title on the form and initial the correction.

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GooGooMuck · 08/05/2011 13:36

Specsavers used to send me letters to Commander GooGooMuck Grin

I'm a bit Hmm at your Dh deciding your title for you.

If you don't want assumptions based on your title, then Ms. is for you. But Ms. does come with assumptions all of it's own :(

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Bloodymary · 08/05/2011 13:49

I have just looked at my passport and I have no title, neither does my little girl.

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E320 · 08/05/2011 13:50

I have just checked my passport. There is no indication of my marital status on it at all.

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LifeInTheSlowLane · 08/05/2011 13:52

If you check you will see that there is no title on your passport and it doesn't even say if you are married or not.

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proudfoot · 08/05/2011 14:05

I have no title on my passport but have always used Ms since I was 18 or 19 and am not married. It has never caused me any issues at all.

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squeakytoy · 08/05/2011 14:09

Perhaps your husband feels a bit upset that you dont want to be known as his wife. I can understand that.

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TrillianAstra · 08/05/2011 14:11

My passport doesn't have my title.

So presumably the Miss/Ms is only for when the passport office address post to you.

Your husband is talking out of his arse, there is not 'proof' that you are Ms not Miss. They are interchangeable. AFAIK you could go about calling yourself Mrs Maidenname if you like, it's only change of name that requires documentation.

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prettybird · 08/05/2011 14:12

As others have said, the whole point of "Ms" is that is gives no indication of marital status - either married or single

I used Ms from the age of 20 (ish) - and only got married when I was 37 (and kept my surname).

The passport itself shows no title (mine was issued in 2006).

I am shocked at your statement that your dh has already filled in the form and ticked the Mrs "as he prefers" HmmShock It's your name, your choice.

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dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 08/05/2011 14:40

If calling me Mrs. Buzzbuzz turns my Dh on I don't mind if he wants to call me that. He sometimes calls me Mrs. Marriedname but I call him Mr. Buzzbuzz back!

I have checked our passports and seen that the title is not displayed Smile Now I will book those airline tickets. Thanks for your advice everyone.

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mummytime · 08/05/2011 15:32

My title is displayed as an extra at the back (Doctor). Personally my DH would have started an enormous row if he'd called me Mrs. Mrs DH name is reserved to weed out double glazing salesman, and occasionally used by very elderly relatives - how much anger they cause depends on how elderly and how nice they are (I can be forgiving). My old college did call me Miss which DH hated, but made me feel like an actress or something.

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