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AIBU?

Being sick of work and life in general and wanting some time alone without kids or DH

20 replies

SAL27 · 29/04/2011 01:07

Being sick of work and life in general and wanting some time alone without kids or DH???????????????

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A1980 · 29/04/2011 01:11

You can have my life if you like.

Split up with my DP when he didn't want to TTC anymore.

Alone every night staring at four walls after work.

It isn't all it's cracked up to be

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reinitindear · 29/04/2011 01:16

Or mine.
My XDP decided that life with my 11 yr old DD and his 8 month old DD wasn't enough to keep him with me and my wages came up £500mshort due to an admin error which can't be resolved till the 9th of May !

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WhiteBumOfTheMountain · 29/04/2011 01:22

That's settled then! YABU! [cgrin]

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reinitindear · 29/04/2011 01:39

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fifitrixibell · 29/04/2011 01:47

You're not getting much sympathy here are you OP? I sometimes feel like running away and I have the 'perfect' life, I just have no time to myself, and do nothing for myself. I find myself feeling jealous of my single childless friends because of their freedom and independence. BUT would I change anything about my life ? I wouldn't be without my DH and dcs for anything. That is what keeps me going.
YANBU to want a break every now and again - do you do anything that is just for you? Would that be possible? That might help a bit.

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SAL27 · 21/07/2011 09:56

have been so busy ! just logged in after months. Thanks guys for your comments.

Fifitrixibell you made me realise i don't do anything by myself except work, lol, i feel the same too wouldn't be without them either but will start doing something for myself now! start with reading the boots magazine!

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abcdangel · 21/07/2011 10:32

Ditto what fifi has said.

I wouldn't be without DDs, I am happily married and have a "nice" life. BUT my only "me" time is at work. I work part time, but I work school hours so as soon as I finish at work, I kick into mummy mode and am basically a taxi service/cook/tidy-upper/homework helper until bedtime.

As the DDs get older it's getting harder as their activities finish later, DH and I are lucky if we get an hour together at the end of the day (and I usually spend that ironing!)

That said, the DDs didn't ask to be born did they, and I know that in a few years time when they have flown the nest I will miss them like hell, so I try not to wish it away - though sometimes it does feel more like a case of survival than living!

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scottishmummy · 21/07/2011 10:49

make some time go out with your pals
your dh watch the kids
plan it on a regular basis.its essential to have time that you value and enjoy that isnt task orientated home stuff

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Deaddei · 21/07/2011 10:53

Dh and I sort of lead separate lives but come together occasionally.....
He plays loads of golf, sails, sport in general. He does lots with ds.
I love being on my own, reading, spas, just being quiet...also galleries etc which he hates.
I always had Saturday afternoons off from when dcs were 6 weeks old...it recharged me.
We are out together on Saturday night which will be nice!

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SAL27 · 21/07/2011 20:34

i work 4 full days, 9-7 don't know if that's considered part-time. lol
Have stressful job and constantly feeling guilty. Hard to be everything and keep a cool head. well it's nice to know it's not just me who likes being on my own occasionally!

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Cocoflower · 21/07/2011 20:37

Nothing wrong with it. To me its just doing something simple like coming on here or reading a magazine and Im happy.

Everyone needs their own headspace now and then.

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SAL27 · 21/07/2011 20:38

true

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blackeyedsusan · 21/07/2011 20:44

that sounds to be about 37 1/2 hours per week... what most people class as full time...

everyone needs time to themselves....you just have to fit it in according to your circumstances (which in my case is put one child in one room and the other in a second... which leaves one room left for me to have 5 minutes peace)

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LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 21/07/2011 20:54

Op me too!

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SAL27 · 21/07/2011 20:56

ME 3!

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SAL27 · 21/07/2011 20:57

i am so glad i returned to mums.net, everyones sooo nice!

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puddinghead · 21/07/2011 21:01

I found that I actually had to write it on the calendar - 'me at allotment 11-3', 'you cycling 10-2', or whatever for us to actually work out when we could do 'our stuff' otherwise I found I was grabbing odd half hours of time and feeling guilty about it and/or feeling resentful when dh was out for longer. When it's agreed and on the calendar, it's 'sorted' so to speak. These days it tends to be Saturdays are his and Sundays are mine and it's panned out quite nicely. Reiterate - plan it on the calendar.

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SAL27 · 21/07/2011 21:09

great idea

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alemci · 21/07/2011 21:14

it is really hard and I totally sympathise because I suspect you do 4 days in 'work' and then you start at home on the other 3.

I don't know how old your dcs are but it gets easier in some ways when they are older.

You feel like running away and starting over at times.

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SAL27 · 21/07/2011 23:01

yes it is really hard and i sometimes think what is this all for?? my son is 2 and daughter's 7, but started work straight after uni when son was 4 months old, at a law firm thinking would get good experience and a training contract ....still hanging on in there.

i'm scared of the kids getting older as feel that i will have missed out on their childhood and could have been 'there' more for them... but i guess this is all for them and i would probably go mad if was home 24/7-double-edged sword !

yes i do feel likerunning away.. somewhere hot-on holiday! i told my DH this and he just couldn't undertsnad why i felt like this