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AIBU or is my neighbour?

(24 Posts)
DillyDaydreaming Wed 20-Apr-11 18:05:33

Help me with this one please. I was lucky enough to be housed by a HA in December due to my DS’s SN (ASD, ADHD, Dyspraxia and learning difficulties as a result). It’s a lovely 2 bed house with a garden and I feel so fortunate to have it.
When I moved in the housing officer said she wasn’t sure what my parking space was and to ask neighbours/other tenants. I did this and they directed me to a spot at the side of the house by my back gate. I should say here this is a double space in front of another neighbour’s house which is set back from my house. Other tenants told me that all previous tenants who have had this house had parked in this space.
On the day I collected the keys I parked there while I sorted out a few bits in preparation for the next day when the main stuff was coming. I had been there no longer than an hour when a note was pushed through the door. It was from the neighbour who has both spaces in front of her house. The note said both spaces were hers and I should park elsewhere. I moved the car straight away and found a different spot – it was a bit further away and during the ice and snow made it hard for DS who falls over easily. The spot next to my house remained empty and other tenants started muttering about it being my “spot” again.
I managed for a few weeks before a resident told me I had been using her parking space and should be parking at the side of my house. I pointed out that the tenant whose house this space was in front of had told me the double parking spot was hers – cue much gnashing of teeth about “the cheeky cow” and “nobody has two spaces”.
I rang the housing officer again who could barely conceal her irritation and told me to park “up the end on the left”. I moved the car there and managed a few weeks before another tenant said that those spaces were for the houses the other side of them who had no other parking.
I rang the housing officer again who with barely concealed irritation told me to “park on the road outside your house” and “I’ll send for the original plans but they will take weeks”.
This was two months ago I have parked outside my house ever since while the spot next to my back gate remains empty apart from one evening a week when a friend calls to the neighbour. Last weekend another vehicle hit my car during the night – no note left natch so I now have £100 to find in excess which I can ill afford. As the space (which everyone says should be using) is mostly unused I have now begun parking there. I knocked at my neighbours door to explain why but there was no reply (I am told she does not answer the door often) so I popped a note in explaining why I had parked there and also commented that other tenants were telling me this is where I should be parking. Nothing for two days and then a note (I was in and would have answered the door had she knocked but she seems to communicate in notes hmm). It basically said she had made a complaint to the HA as they had not given me a parking space. She also commented that both spots were hers as the developers told her this when she moved in. She is a HA tenant like me so I am a bit puzzled about an allocation of two parking spaces. No parking bays are numbered.
I just want to park my car when I get home from work or from the school – preferably in the same spot (or thereabouts) due to DS’s ASD and need for routine and safety. Have written to the HA now – hand delivered letter but a week later there has been no response – not even an acknowledgement of my letter.
So – AIBU in parking where every other tenant tells me I should be parking ie where all the other tenants of this house have parked. Or is my neighbour BU in expecting the space to be left empty for friends or relatives. For anyone working for a HA – is it likely two spaces would be allocated for two bed house? Just anxious to avoid doing the wrong thing – am trying to keep everyone happy but appear to be pissing them all off in the process.

If you've read to the end of this then thank you.

ivykaty44 Wed 20-Apr-11 18:09:32

I would put a note through the door and say you are more than welcoem to complain as the HA office says I must park in the spot and it is not your second spot - until you get your complaint seen to and verification that the second spot is yours and not mine as HA says I will need to park where I am told by HA officer.

mouseanon Wed 20-Apr-11 18:09:42

I think the HA ABU for not telling you where you should be parking. They must surely know!

FWIW I think it unlikely that anyone would get 2 spaces for a 2 bed house but you need to find out for sure from the HA. It is ridiculous that they can't give you the information.

JemAndTheHolograms Wed 20-Apr-11 18:11:12

TBH I'd just keep parking in the spot by your house. If she never uses it then why on earth is she getting her knickers in a twist about you using it, she's just being awkward! Ignore her and keep parking there.

K999 Wed 20-Apr-11 18:12:36

If the house comes with an allocated parking space it should be noted in the deeds and the HA should know this. If in doubt they cand check with the land registry.

Buddhastic Wed 20-Apr-11 18:13:20

I agree with mouseanon the HA need to sort this out.

ForeverNamechanging Wed 20-Apr-11 18:14:52

This is your HA responsibility go in and refuse to leave till its sorted.

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs Wed 20-Apr-11 18:15:09

Neighbour is unreasonable, just park there

cherrychoo Wed 20-Apr-11 18:17:07

are there any double yellas?

If not, park there, fuck um.


millie30 Wed 20-Apr-11 18:18:50

She's just trying her luck because you are new. What is the likelihood that she would be allocated two parking spaces, and you none? Just park there.

TidyDancer Wed 20-Apr-11 18:21:57

Have you tried speaking to the district council? Perhaps the planning department may be able to help you. Going to the Land Registry can be expensive I believe, but in all honesty, it sounds like the neighbour is taking the piss. She's probably always coveted that parking space and is chancing her luck now there's a new tenant who doesn't know how the neighbourhood is laid out.

Please let us know what happens!

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange Wed 20-Apr-11 18:22:22

Please park there and don't worry.

nokissymum Wed 20-Apr-11 18:23:24

Some people are just plain akward and selfish, danger is of your car being damaged if you park in the second spot, from the sounds of your neighbour she could be just the type.

I wouldnt have any piece of mind if i parked there. The HA really should come down and sort it out with both of you there. Thats there job.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl Wed 20-Apr-11 18:28:29

Even if the HA can't tell you exactly which parking space is yours, they should be able to confirm that no-one has been allocated two parking spaces - and armed with that information, you could park where your neighbours told you to park. As TidyDancer says, it sounds like she is trying her luck because you are new.

I hope you can get this sorted out.

ivykaty44 Wed 20-Apr-11 18:34:25

Let her do the work proving they have allocated her house two parking spaces - you park in one and let her do the running around to proove you can't.

I doubt with your ds and his extra needs you need to be running after this silly neighbour and her little notes, let her get in contact with HA and district council.

LadyThumb Wed 20-Apr-11 18:38:41

I agree with IvyKaty44. No HA allocates 2 parking spaces. Just a thought - does your son get DLA? If so, ask the HA to make it a disabled space for you. In the meantime, just park there and have nothing more to do with the 'lady'.

mamatomany Wed 20-Apr-11 18:43:26

nokisyymum i'd imagine somebody who communicates via notes to be the non confrontional type rather than the violent type.
Just park there OP what's the worse she's going to do, send you another note ?

DillyDaydreaming Wed 20-Apr-11 19:07:19

Yes - should say she is non-confrontational. I just say Hello when I see her, throw the childrens ball back etc. Even sent Xmas card and biscuits in at Xmas as "from new neighbour" etc.
Thanks all, have been feeling awkward about parking there but will just pull in now.

nokissymum Wed 20-Apr-11 23:38:18

Just because someone communicated via notes doesnt mean they are non confrontational. Her "note" writting may make her come across as a mild character, but its actually hiding a very nasty character that could go either way if they came face to face.

Plus the neighbour has managed for a long time now to prevent anyone parking in that spot, so her "note writting" seems very effective, or she has scared a few people, i'd say.

OP also mentioned her car being damaged a bit, but didnt know who did it ? anyway, OP is the best person to know wether she is confrontational or not, i havent met her, and can only judge by what i read.

cece Wed 20-Apr-11 23:53:01

I agree, try and get a dedicated Disabled space painted onto the road/area if you can.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs Wed 20-Apr-11 23:58:22

Keep parking there and do what Ivy said She's trying her luck!

DillyDaydreaming Thu 21-Apr-11 17:59:28

Yep - note writing is very passive aggressive stuff really. All previous tenants in this house parked there without comment. What has changed is that she now drives and wants the other spot for friends/relatives. Nobody comes apart from one evening a week and that was two nights ago when I was out - I parked elsewhere when I got back and moved the car the next day.

On a crappier note the HA have not responded to my complaint (supposed to acknowledge it in three days) so are now getting another one. Am copying some of DS's medical stuff for them.

My other neighbour says it was a black Fiesta which hit my car - it roared off before she could catch the number plate. So not my neighbour - tbh I don't think she would do that sort of thing. I am trying to keep things amicable and saying hello etc, asked about her cats (she has two indoor ones who she obviously adores), have thrown the childrens ball back a few times as well. I want to keep things okay as I will be living here for a long time and so might she as she has two boys to share the second bedroom.

pretentiouswasteoftime Sun 26-Jun-11 09:18:01

I am the OP under varying name grin

Well, had a letter two days ago from the HA to tell me both spaces are not allocated to any particular property and are on a first come, first served basis. My "odd" neighbour has had a letter telling her that this and reiterating that she is not permitted to ask anyone to move their car.

Makes her behaviour when I moved in even more odd tbh. I just could NOT have done this to someone.

I maintain a friendly "hello" but that's all. Don't think I will include her on my Xmas card list this year. Bloody hell, last year I gave her a tin of biscuits to apologise for parking in "her" parking space. hmm

biscuitmad Mon 27-Jun-11 01:14:10

I had a two bedroom flat with the HA and it came with two parking spaces. All of the spaces were marked by the door numbers of the flats. I had one neighbour who, prefered to keep her parking spaces free and used mine instead. It took three letters from the HA telling her that she wasnt allowed. I ended up blocking the car in for three days, then she stopped.

My advice is to put a letter through her door no notes, an official letter.


I have been instruction by the HA that my parking space is allocated to the side of my property. In future I will be using this space. It is unacceptable for me to park elsewere as I have young children.

Please direct any future complaints directly to the HA.

The HA want you for forward the official documents confirming the space is yours as they disagree with you.

As instructed by the HA all correspondence from yourself has been kept in file and any future notes will be kept.


This should make her shut up and get on with her life. All the other neighbours are happy with you parking so park their. Hate to say it but the staff at the ha are really slow at doing anything. You will get the paperwork eventually it just takes time.

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