I am not sure how to articulate this without offending people but I am 2 months pregnant and feeling horribly trapped and regretful. I am married and we wanted a child, although in hindsight I wonder how much thought we put into it. I previously had a miscarriage and I think my mindset was focussed on getting pregnant with little thought for what follows.
We're both older, in our mid thirties, and have a pretty great life. I happen to be in a career that I love and I earn a lot which I know is a privilege and I appreciate it. I have worked for years to get where I am in a cut throat industry and I am dreading the effect of maternity leave on my career. The net effect of all of that is that we lead pretty selfish lives and enjoy ourselves. I absolutely accept that any one reading this would be perfectly entitled to call me selfish and remind me that I made a choice and now I am stuck with it.
I'm constantly tired, constantly nauseous and constantly going to the loo. I know that any rational response would be that it's just pregnancy I amn't enjoying and when a child comes along that it'll all change. I don't know why, and I wish I didn't, but I only feel dread about a child coming and how life will change.
I'm posting this on the off chance someone else feels/felt the same and maybe their experience turned out ok.
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Really think I made a mistake getting pregnant
99 replies
userfame · 06/04/2011 19:17
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