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(25 Posts)
mollymole Fri 25-Mar-11 10:24:41

aibu to expect people to know how to behave in public places -a few nights ago i went to a pub where the landlords were holding a special evening as they had been there for 25 years - they had a well know local entertainer who sings and he is very good - when we got there the singer was having a break and people were chatting - then the singer comes back on and the group of people at the side of me carried on chatting, but to make themselves heard to each other they were shouting loudly - I very nicely mentioned to them that I was there to hear the singer and not them & if they wished to talk why not move to another area of the premises - they were not rude but quite shocked that some one would mention this to them
and did not think their behaviour was unreasonable#
and whilst i am on this theme what is it about people in restaurants who have to let every one know, in loud shouty voices about their recent purchases, holidays, amazing gifted children etc in super loud voices - am i
the only one who finds this SO RUDE -

Birdsgottafly Fri 25-Mar-11 10:33:28

I agree with you when there are acts on or football in a pub!

I have noticed that people seem to be naturally talking alot louder than older generations. I don't know if this is because of constant background noise, music, television, console games etc. I am constantly telling my teenagers and their friends to lower their voices. I come from a loud family and have had to work on lowering my voice. I don't think that there is anything wrong with asking people to keep the noise down, in a polite way, i never realised how loud i was.

mayorquimby Fri 25-Mar-11 10:33:52

Agree with the sentiment but think the people in your specific scenario did absolutely nothing wrong. In a proper venue at a proper gig then yeah shut-up during the songs, but in a pub that happens to have somebody performing I'd expect people to carry on talking through the songs and do other things you wouldn't at a proper gig.

mollymole Fri 25-Mar-11 10:41:09

think you may have missed part of the point - it was a special evening to celebrate a 25 year anniversary - this pub does not have music normally and the act was a particular favourite of the landland and landlady

squeakytoy Fri 25-Mar-11 10:44:04

It is a public house though, so unless this was a private party, then they have every right to be able to have a conversation. It wasnt a piano recital where everyone sits in silence then politely claps, it was a pub gig wink

Katiepoes Fri 25-Mar-11 10:49:49

YABU. Chatting is always allowed in a pub, if they wanted entertainment that would be watched like at a concert then they should have had a private room/party. Double that for football - people who watch football in the pub and complain about others talking should get the sports channels at home.

Terpsichore Fri 25-Mar-11 10:50:30

OP, you aren't the only one. My own bugbear is people in cinemas who just spend the whole time talking to each other, right through the film. WTF? It's not your own living-room!

Trouble is, some people (mostly, it has to be said, younger people, ahem, mad bat alert) seemingly have no concept of maintaining a polite silence. Or that others might not be fascinated by their witless stream-of-consciousness.

I'll stop now grin

Awhiteelephantintheroom Fri 25-Mar-11 10:50:39

Loud people like those you've described in restaurants really annoy me; especially "loud parenting" types. I had the misfortune to be sitting near one of those recently in a restaurant and couldn't help but hear (because her voice was so bloody loud) how bright her daughter is and then she kept picking up items and saying "What letter does this begin with, Tamsin?", or asking her to count and saying "louder, we can't quite hear you".

And before anyone leaps on me, I don't mean parents just talking to their children, I mean those that are only talking to their children for the benefit of passers by and so that they can be heard by everyone.

mayorquimby Fri 25-Mar-11 10:51:34

No I got that point, but if were they doing it as a special night (tickets/private party) or did they just happen to have an entertainer on to mark the occassion and apart from that it was business as usual?
If they've just put on an entertainer and left the doors open to anyone then I can't see a problem with what the other customers did in the slightest.
It's a pub and pub entertainers will know that this means that a good portion of the people present will not be there to listen to them and may be actively annoyed by the presence of somebody with a microphone meaning they have to shout to be heard by their mates. That's why jobbing entertainers will always talk of having to win over a crowd.

If I go down to my pub tonight and there's a music act on (there normally is in one of the two that I tend to go to of a friday) I will not be sitting quietly to listen to them, they have been put on to add a sense of atmosphere to the pub and as entertainment and I think anyone to expect people to remain silent for a pub gig is pretty unreasonable.

mayorquimby Fri 25-Mar-11 10:53:16

"people who watch football in the pub and complain about others talking should get the sports channels at home."

Do people give out about this?
I don't think I have ever heard a single word of the commentary/crowd noise from a televised match in a crowded pub. It is by it's very nature ( a packed pub full of people drinking and watching sports that they care about) meant to be rowdy and noisy.

ShirleyKnot Fri 25-Mar-11 10:54:51

I agree with mayorquimby. And I am chortling at the irony of the SHOUTY CAPITAL LETTER TITLE.

ClaireDeLoon Fri 25-Mar-11 10:56:12

God I hate loud people in restaurants and bars. It's most often shrill 20 something women IME with piercing squealy laughter. A group of them all trying to out-talk and out-squeal each other - hell. Grumpy old woman that I am.

Katiepoes Fri 25-Mar-11 10:56:43

I have. The local near my parents has a crowd that go watch the football/rugby/golf/fecking tiddlywinks, if you dare go to the bar or pass the screen to get to the loo or speak you get muttered at, told off, generally made feel like you are doing somthing innappropriate. The same crowd always bang on about the 'atmosphere' too. Idiots.

May I ask please how and adult speaking loudly in a bar to be heard over singing equates with loud parenting?

Birdsgottafly Fri 25-Mar-11 11:01:12

It depends on how many pubs are in the area. I have been on a night out with 'the girls', knowing that we are going to loud and we have walked into the pub to find a match is on, so we have gone elsewhere. If you want to carry on conversations pick where you are going to sit with thought for others, if theres an act on. But it is equally anoying when you are a regular somewhere and you get a complaint from someone who only drinks there on special occasions. They don't seem to apprectiate that its because of the regulars that the pub is still open.

mayorquimby Fri 25-Mar-11 11:03:03

That sounds like a shocking atmosphere.
I'd watch 99% of matches that I want to at home because I find it in general more enjoyable and I can pay better attention to the match. But if I do head tot he pub for a game it will inevitably be because it's a big game and one of my mates has said something along the lines of "will we head to the pub for this one wouldn't mind having a bit of atmosphere/buzz seeing as it's a big one." because it's obvious and expected that loads of people will be going down and the number of people shouting/milling about/drinking will mean that you get a noisy crowd adding a bit of atmosphere to the game.
I can not imagine people expecting others to be still or quiet during a match in a pub. You go because it's going to be noisy.

Birdsgottafly Fri 25-Mar-11 11:12:17

Watching a big match in a pub- people go to get caught up in the atmosphere, not to have a group of upto ten people plonk themselves infront of the televisions and scream with laughter (usually women). If you live in a place with a few pubs then it can be a matter of picking the pub depending on what you want from the night out. Regulars should be respected because pubs are closing all around the country. Its who brings in the money, gets the say.

mayorquimby Fri 25-Mar-11 11:16:17

We might be talking at cross-purposes here.
I assumed katiepoles was saying that the regulars were complaining about others who were watching the match talking/shouting at the screen or walking in front of others for a second while going to the bar to get another drinkk etc. while also watching the match iyswim.
The situation you've outlined I'd completely agree with, a group sitting in front of the screen and blocking it for everyone else are nothing short of sub-human scum and shouldn't be let any where near a pub.

NinkyNonker Fri 25-Mar-11 11:36:35

YABU. It was a pub, people go there to socialise. For me that involves conversing with people.

I very nicely mentioned to them that I was there to hear the singer and not them & if they wished to talk why not move to another area of the premises...not sure how you can say this nicely if said as phrased!

NinkyNonker Fri 25-Mar-11 11:38:36

But YANBU to your other examples of annoyances. These boasty people aren't really rude, just bloody irritating.

bibbitybobbityhat Fri 25-Mar-11 11:44:05


Was with my little family of four in a Pizza Express not long ago for a pre-pantomime meal at about 6pm.. There was an enormous extended family party (about 10 adults and 10 children) on the next table and they were all talking over each other and SHOUTING to be heard. To be fair, the adults were shouting and shrieking much louder than the children, with one woman who simply couldn't speak except at full volume.

It was really intrusive on everyone else in the place.

And then, dang me, if they didn't sit about two rows infront of us at the pantomime!


kreecherlivesupstairs Fri 25-Mar-11 12:26:13

OP I think YABU. A pub is a pub, if the landlords wanted to put on a turn to treat their regulars in a well ordered manner, they should have booked a hall.
I can be loud.

5Foot5 Fri 25-Mar-11 13:39:44

Not so sure about the pub situation you describe OP but in principle I do agree with you. Some people appear to have no self awareness or volume control. Or common courtesy to others around them.

Occasionally we got out for a meal with several other family members and one of my female relatives is like this. She talks at the top of her voice the whole time and I sometimes wonder what the people at the next table must be thinking if they went out for a quiet meal. Unfortunately she is the sort of person who would probably go absolutely ballistic if anyone suggested she keep her voice down a bit so it is probably better to grin and bear it.

Oh and loud, show-offy parenting of the type you describe has me grinding my teeth!

I have to admit I also get annoyed by people who go to school concerts or similar and do nothing to keep their offspring quiet during the performance. But I think I better don a hard hat and duck out now grin

helenverill Sun 24-Sep-17 01:15:51

I totally agree with you Molly Mole Im a musician and I have sung in a lot of pubs. It happens quite often that you get loud people talking over the music. It is horrible and offputting. I personally think it is very ignorant but a lot of people don't feel that way. I think any musician would agree with you. People with no experience of performing and who don't appreciate music don't understand They are right that pubs are for talking but what does it take to have your loud converstation in a different part of the pub ? If there is no other room then fair enough but if there is an other area move there.

ChardonnaysPrettySister Sun 24-Sep-17 01:27:00

A bit like shouting on an Internet forum...

CazzieCatsRock Sun 24-Sep-17 01:44:30

I'm a singer aswell and one of my fave songs is....


As is this thread!! 2011!!

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