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to really hate going to toddler groups?

(200 Posts)
MogadoredMemoo Tue 01-Mar-11 12:06:54

Am I some kind of freak because I can't stand them?

I Find it really hard to strike up conversations with other parents. I get all PFB over DD when anyone else's child snatches or pushes (even though she is actually my precious third born). The noise levels hurt my ears and I'm always the one who ends up sat doing the gluing with 10 other kids whilst their parents sit in the corner talking and drinking tea. By the time I get home I feel like I need 5 valium and a bottle of whisky

worraliberty Tue 01-Mar-11 12:08:00

Yep I hated them too! I still took my kids to them, but I couldn't wait to get home.

OffToNarnia Tue 01-Mar-11 12:08:56

I hate them too. I keep wanting to wipe other kids noses..

perfumedlife Tue 01-Mar-11 12:10:22

YANBU I loathed toddler group. I felt like a freak when mothers with newborns were talking about wanting another. I found it hard to cope with my only child, had health issues that were undiagnosed and just basically wanted to stay in the warm house and drink tea smile

Ds was too young to play with others too, and I certainly didn't enjoy the endless chat about other people's kids.

I went three times and jacked it in.

SunshineOnARainyDay Tue 01-Mar-11 12:11:14

Gosh yes, awful places - for the adults. I was the same as you and would always be the one sat playing with the other kids as DD was so clingy and all the other mothers would be sat chatting and I never got to drink my tea as I had all these little ones to entertain. When DS was born we stopped going altogether!

perfumedlife Tue 01-Mar-11 12:12:05

Oh yes Narnia, the other kids noses [shocked] Never wiped, gross.

I much preferred taking ds to the art galleries or sometimes we took a 1p flight to Paris for the day. Much more fun.

worraliberty Tue 01-Mar-11 12:12:16

Only time I ever caught nits was from a toddler group, sitting at the table making playdough shapes with other kids.

JaxTellersOldLady Tue 01-Mar-11 12:12:42

I struggled with toddler group with my first. I just thought that I had absolutely nothing in common with anyone - apart from having a baby!

I found a nice group when I had my DD a few years later, probably helped that by that time I knew more people.

YANBU to not like them.

JeremyVile Tue 01-Mar-11 12:13:11

Toddler groups are hideous.

Go out instead, plenty of other kids to mix with at the park/swimming pool etc.

worraliberty Tue 01-Mar-11 12:13:31

(sicks up a bit) Yep there were always snotty kids there with a pair of candles hanging out their nostrils!!

hmmm54 Tue 01-Mar-11 12:14:01

YANBU but it's good preparation for the horror that is the school playground. I find that much worse.

JeremyVile Tue 01-Mar-11 12:14:43

Daytrips to galleries in Paris instead of toddler group may be a little.... unsustainable? grin

GORGEOUSX Tue 01-Mar-11 12:14:44

YANBU. Dreadful places, full of toddlers and their vile parents. grin

MogadoredMemoo Tue 01-Mar-11 12:15:40

Phew! glad its not just me. I don't want to go any more but feel like I am depriving DD if I don't.

Oh god yes snotty kids! or there is always one with a stinking nappy.

DD is 17 months and drags me round the room. I spend half of the session sat amongst a load of toddlers and trying to dodge metal cars and wooden building blocks that are being thrown across the room.

TheProvincialLady Tue 01-Mar-11 12:16:19

They're ok as long as you have some actual friends there to talk to. Otherwise it is mind numbingly boring, making polite chat with people on a limited range of subjects. Mainly poo and milk for the under 1s, what they eat and when they nap for 1-2, and what marvellous accomplishments they have from 2+. Ugh.

MogadoredMemoo Tue 01-Mar-11 12:16:52

Day trips to galleries in Paris sounds much more appealing.

Rannaldini Tue 01-Mar-11 12:16:52

i never went as i thought dull

don't go

perfumedlife Tue 01-Mar-11 12:17:19

You get the idea though Jeremy, sometimes it was Brussels, just wherever was cheap.

Sometimes we stayed in and listened to you, you and me were separated at birth musically grin

RudeEnglishLady Tue 01-Mar-11 12:17:21


Its so draining.

DS is the youngest and although he can sit and play the bigger ones will stand on him / wipe snot on him / start dragging him about if I put him on the floor.

The other week a 3 year old slapped him because he wouldn't give her the toy he was holding. He's 7 months old

I only go because I think he enjoys watching the toddlers going crazy and I like the other Mums. I look forward to when he can fight back and not have to sit on my knee for 2 hours grin

MogadoredMemoo Tue 01-Mar-11 12:18:46

I don't really know anyone there so that does make it harder. I do try to have little chats but my brain just freezes and I have no idea what to say, so just end up sat that like a big billy no mates!

thumbwitch Tue 01-Mar-11 12:21:04

YANBU if you hate them, that's your prerogative.

However, I would be lost without both of the ones DS and I go to, they have been the only source of people I have met and who I talk to since moving here (Australia). I have made friends there and they have helped me find good hairdressers, dentists, shops for specialist stuff - plus I have people I can invite round and who will invite me round. Seein that DH has no friends left here (well, ok, 2 but we've only seen either of them twice in 1.5y) I would be a social recluse without mine.

I actually dislike DS's activity groups more (football, dance) as the parents there don't seem to want to talk to you at all unless you already know them from elsewhere - which I don't.

kreecherlivesupstairs Tue 01-Mar-11 12:22:28

YANBU at all. DD started going when we moved to Bangkok. I had nothing at all in common with the Thai nannies who were the main carers for the babies.
DD really seemed to enjoy it. I am such a good mum hmm

Laquitar Tue 01-Mar-11 12:23:11

You are not freak. Most of my friends and myself hated them too.

I enjoyed very much taking my dcs to the park sometimes with other mums/toddlers so they got social interaction, exercise plus fresh air. And i was getting nice walk and fresh air too. Even in the winter is fine if you wear gloves, hat etc. And it is free! When it was very cold or rainy we went to each other's house.

I guess these groups are good if you are very isolated and live in a tiny flat or you have no toys/books at all at home. But they are not compulsory.

thumbwitch Tue 01-Mar-11 12:23:44

MInd you - I have to say that the playgroups I go to here seem to be very different from the ones people in the UK tend to describe - all the parents look out for all the children and no child is allowed to get away with being mean to another without someone intervening. Proper "community" parenting - I like that.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop Tue 01-Mar-11 12:27:44

Memoo - the thing is, they aren't all created equally. Some are hidious and others are great - try some others, when you find a good one it's brilliant. Also, tell DD that Mummies aren't allowed to play with the toys at this one then she will learn to play by herself and near/with others while you enjoy some adult company and dress/undress the odd baby she brings you. Having to grub around on the floor for a couple of hours isn't much fun.

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