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Where has dds willy gone

(87 Posts)
mjloveswineoclock Fri 04-Feb-11 15:44:12

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MrSpoc Fri 04-Feb-11 15:47:43

i got fed up with my son (only 2.5) and said why does he never listen to me. Guess what he did. ran up to his mum and said.
Mummy i never listen to daddy.
we were in fits of laughter. (the bloody shit)

weedle Fri 04-Feb-11 15:49:24

A pigeon got it grin

Stopped my friends son dropping his pants on the highstreet. The girl's a gooddun!

mjloveswineoclock Fri 04-Feb-11 15:51:06

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GwynAndBearIt Fri 04-Feb-11 16:00:29

Not from a toddler but from a 4 year old, this one made me laugh and cry, after my lovely MIL passed away,

"don't worry about Nana, it must be lovely in heaven, no-one ever wants to come back do they?"

and then added..

"I bet they've got a great play area too.."

cobbledtogether Fri 04-Feb-11 16:01:11

DS never mentioned dd's willy as he had already been through that with me one day when I got out of the shower.

Mummy, where's your willy?

I don't have one because I'm a girl.

Mummy, you've got another bum instead.

Yes, I have a bottom.

Mummy, Can I stroke your hairy bum?

<saves that one up for when he's old enough to be really embarrassed...>

MrSpoc Fri 04-Feb-11 16:03:03

cobbledtogether - i have just pissed myself laughing at that. you should of told him it had teeth.

mjloveswineoclock Fri 04-Feb-11 16:04:56

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Bottleofbeer Fri 04-Feb-11 16:05:33

"Ahhh poor mummy's willy fell off".

MadameCastafiore Fri 04-Feb-11 16:05:38

DS (6) came in my bedroom this mornign horrified that DD has hair on her noonie.

I told him it was because she is growing up and will look like Mummy one day and he told me that she won;tbecause she hasn't god boobs!

Can;t wait for the day that he walks in looking horrified stating that she has boobs!

AlabasterQueen Fri 04-Feb-11 16:06:14

Cobbledtogether! That is hilarious!

BertieBotts Fri 04-Feb-11 16:06:21

I'm still breastfeeding DS who is 2.4. I've just gone on the pill though and have heard it can affect supply so I said to him (paraphrased) "One day the milk might run out and be all gone."

He replied "It's OK Mummy, I like dinosaurs" confused toddler logic grin

Ormirian Fri 04-Feb-11 16:07:33

DD was confused on this very issue many years ago. Having shared a bath with DS1 she used to try to wee standing up whilst holding onto her belly button. It was messy.

SeriousWispaHabit Fri 04-Feb-11 16:09:58

DD 2.6 - if you're a good girl and play nicely with me today, you can take me to toddler group tomorrow

Me - so if I just sit here and drink my tea, that's a winwin situation for me then isn't it?

DD <blank look>
I'm going to count to 3 and you need to play nicely or we can't go to toddler group tomorrow...

cobbledtogether Fri 04-Feb-11 16:10:30

Another one from my DS.

Sitting with DH watching TV when we hear this almighty scream of terror, followed by anguished crying and screaming. Never have we moved so fast in our lives upstairs to DS's room.

Run in there..

DS what's wrong? Are you hurt?

Mummy, mummy, I've broken my willy! <continued anguished howling.>

No sweetheart, you've just pulled the foreskin back.

tomhardyismydh Fri 04-Feb-11 16:16:09

normaly only get round to doing my bikini line when taking dd swimming.

but was having a very rare night out so thought I d have a little tidy up.

dd notices this and shouts hurrah we are going swimming, but mummy its bed time and the babysitter is coming, thats not fair I want to go swimming with you.

mjloveswineoclock Fri 04-Feb-11 16:18:18

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MrSpoc Fri 04-Feb-11 16:20:02

this thread is hilarious. next time my wife is shaving ill ask her if we are going swimming.

tomhardyismydh Fri 04-Feb-11 16:24:34

when dd was just 2 or maybe a little before she was obssesed with willies. she had gone a little quite sitting playing in the halway and was sat sread eagled head on floor between her legs like some contotionist giving herself a right old exam. raised her head and said I can see a little hole and guess what my willie is growing.

I explained it wasnt a willie but she wouldnt have it and procceded to streach it well beyond normal range, {ouch} see there it is mum.

PlentyOfParsnips Fri 04-Feb-11 16:24:39

DS (about 6) - what's for tea?

Me - sausages, new potatoes, peas and sweetcorn

DS - uuurrrggghhh! Not potatoes again! I'm really bored of potatoes, why do we always have to have potatoes? (we don't, by the way)

Me (doing something I swore I'd never do) - You should be grateful you have a lovely dinner every night! Do you think those poor children in (insert war-torn/drought-ravaged country here), who are lucky if they get just plain rice every day, say 'I'm bored of rice'? No they don't!

DS - yeah, but everybody likes rice!

tomhardyismydh Fri 04-Feb-11 16:27:15

remins me of a comment made other day by dd when I dished up our chicken, rice an d chappati dish.

Oh thanks mum this looks nice, just like what they have in poor countries.

waitwhat Fri 04-Feb-11 16:29:46

PlentyOfParsnips lol

We tried the same with ds1 adding if he continued to whine we would send his dinner to the starving kids he replied-
Your cooking's RUBBISH they would send it back and carry on starving!

I wanted to tell him off but his point was valid

OgreTripletsAreSoCute Fri 04-Feb-11 16:39:28

CobbledTogether how old was DS?

DD was about 3 when she said plaintively, while in the bath with DS "when is my willy going to grow?"

I will never forget the look of astonishment on DS's face when at a similar age he was absentmindedly playing with it one day and looked down, "mummy my willy is big!"

WinterLover Fri 04-Feb-11 16:43:09

Had trouble getting DSD 3 at the time to eat...

Me 'DSD we're not going to talk to you until you've eaten your tea'

DSD (as quick as lightening) 'but you just spoke to me'

Little sod, DP and FIL we're no use as they were wetting themselves!!

cobbledtogether Fri 04-Feb-11 17:37:30

Ogre he was not quite 3 when he came out with that little gem.

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