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to think that school gate politics is worse than school playground politics

(62 Posts)
rickymummy Mon 31-Jan-11 17:21:12

I am a 39 years old woman, and was pleased to have left playground politics behind many many years ago.

Now I find myself in a postion where one of the mums at school is "not talking" to me. No idea why, can't think of any reason why it started and, when I approached her and asked why, she just said she didn't want to talk about it.

As far as I am aware, there are three other mums she is also "not talking" to.

I am, of course, rising above it, and trying my hardest not avoid gossip etc, but I see her every day; she comes and talks to whoever I am chatting to but blanks me. Pulls her child away if our children try and walk together....

I know it's her and it shouldn't get to me, but I just needed an rant.

valiumredhead Mon 31-Jan-11 17:22:35

I quite miss the school playground.............. now I don't have to do it wink

AMumInScotland Mon 31-Jan-11 17:26:11

Poor you - at least she's "not talking" to other people too though, so it should be clear enough that she's the weirdo and you haven't actually done anything.

oldraver Mon 31-Jan-11 18:14:27

Blanking you, while not nice, is one thing but gatecrashing a conversation you're having and then blanking you is downright nasty. Could you not say " I think it very rude of you to ignore me" or ask in front of the other person what the problem is

HecateQueenOfWitches Mon 31-Jan-11 18:15:21

Laugh at her.

Openly laugh.

She deserves your contempt. Silly woman.

Gemsy83 Mon 31-Jan-11 18:17:01

I know a woman like this- she will also text me at random and say hello when it suits. I think she has proper personality issues though so try not to take it to heart.

AgentZigzag Mon 31-Jan-11 18:19:07

What can you do if she won't say what it is??

Sounds a bit random, usually the other person would tell you if you've offended them in some way.

But to totally blank you confused

It's why I steer clear of getting too chatty.

Sounds like it's better you know she's like this though, but it's her problem not yours.

JamieLeeCurtis Mon 31-Jan-11 18:20:17

I am very very much looking forward to mine going to Senior School

KateEring Mon 31-Jan-11 18:25:38

This kind of things drives me mad! So childish and usually unnecessary.

Have your dc mentioned anything that has gone on in the playground with her child that maybe upset her? (Not suggesting you ask them btw.)

Don't let her get to you and for the sake of your dc try to resist the temptation to burn bridges with her as hopefully it will blow over and whatever has offended her, she will forget.

AgentZigzag Mon 31-Jan-11 18:26:08

I hate this kind if shit though, like the OP says, it's bad enough when you're at school...hmm

grumpypants Mon 31-Jan-11 18:26:20

otoh, quite often people (esp school gate parents) become really annoying, and if they are just random parents i was prev a bit chatty with, i just avoid them. wouldn't worry - life's too short really.

KateEring Mon 31-Jan-11 18:26:35

Jamie - my thoughts exactly but the politics continue there as well.......!

JamieLeeCurtis Mon 31-Jan-11 18:28:43

Oh God, really? - I though you just shoved them out the door and only met other parents at parents evening

JamieLeeCurtis Mon 31-Jan-11 18:29:08


MattsBatt Mon 31-Jan-11 18:29:28

I completely agree with Hecate

I've only read a few threads today but I've agreed with everything Hecate has said on all of them!

Short of moving house and sending your kids to a different school, there's not much else you can do except ignore the situation. This woman sounds like a right bully actually - I mean, how passive aggressive IS it to crash someone else's conversation whilst ignoring one of the participants? What a foul woman.

I also loathe the playground politics ... turning up five minutes late is a useful tactic as you can just run in, grab your DCs and leave. You shouldn't have to miss out on chatting with the nicer mums though. Sigh.

maristella Mon 31-Jan-11 18:30:53

but with secondary school you don't have to hang around waiting at the gates! i was so relieved when DS started secondary. at his primary there was all sorts of unpleasantness at the school gates. it could be quite intimidating

HecateQueenOfWitches Mon 31-Jan-11 18:31:34

grin yeah, I'm on a roll.

Mondays are my Talk Sense days
Tuesdays are my Talk Shite days

And tbh, it just goes downhill from there...

JamieLeeCurtis Mon 31-Jan-11 18:31:38

Me too Matt. I have flitted about, agreeing with Hecate everywhere.

thunderbird69 Mon 31-Jan-11 18:33:10

I'v come across a lot of strange mums over the years. Ones who will say hello and talk one day and ignore another day. I think it's all about being in the right clique. Personally I'm cliqueless.

KateEring Mon 31-Jan-11 18:34:33


You have them blanking you at pick up from parties when their little darling no longer likes your little darling.

You have little power plays on who offers to share lifts to things. Competitive meetings for coffee/lunch etc. No matter how much you decide to avoid it all you get sucked in for sake of oiling the wheels of dc's relationships.


It's a jungle out there grin.

unfitmother Mon 31-Jan-11 18:34:52

God how pathetic! I can't bear the school gate.
I make DH do the school run. wink

MsKLo Mon 31-Jan-11 18:35:52

I agree with queen hectate too!

Laugh at her - better still, get tog with the other mums she isn't talking to and all laugh at her together!

JamieLeeCurtis Mon 31-Jan-11 18:36:14


MattsBatt Mon 31-Jan-11 18:36:52

Hi JamieLee and Hecate - I must remember to log on to MN tomorrow then grin

The whole mothers clique thing is just pathetic, and you can guarantee that the bossy/pushy/aggressive/cliquey mums are the ones who haven't changed one bit in the 10/20/30 years since they were at school.

The rest of us have, thankfully, grown up a bit wink

FrameyMcFrame Mon 31-Jan-11 18:37:54

Make a [point of smiling sweetly at her every day and saying 'Hi'.

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