Help! So embarrassed.

[Queenofthekitchen]

I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I'm so embarrassed, so please don't laugh.

My wonderful (strict Catholic) MIL gave me a food processor for Christmas. I was so excited, I love to cook and there are so many recipes I've been longing to try.

I've been making something every other day, practically, it's great. Anyway, 2 evenings ago I was making something and DH walked in and saw me using it. I was telling him how wonderful it was and took the bowl off to scrape my mixture of soup into bowls ready to eat. He took one look at it and came and put his arm round me and asked if I'd try something. Now, before you call troll, he has a thing about kitchen implements. Lets just say I never knew there were so many uses for rolling pins and spatulas before I met him. It doesn't really float my boat but I love him and it's not as bad a fetish as some things so I try and indulge him occasionally.

Anyway, he pointed out to me that the drive shaft on the processor was really strong and he'd love to see me ride it . We have no dc's so have the house to ourselves and he was really keen so I did. It was very powerful! I was buzzing all evening. He loved it, says it was the sexiest thing ever (I had to keep my apron on). It was quite nice, I admit, although a bit too powerful, hence the buzzing.

Anyway, that's all fine but we went round to my PIL for supper last night and I took some of the leftover soup as we ran out the door (didn't really get round to eating much the night before), completely not thinking. I presented it to MIL and was gushing about the processor, when some very vivid memories from the night before popped into my head. My DH, who loves to wind people up said to his mother 'oh yes, the vibrations are very powerful.' I have never gone more red in my life. She made a catbum mouth and didn't say anything, but what if she guessed?! I'm so mortified.

Do you think I should refuse to use it again in that manner? It will disappoint DH dreadfully, but if he's going to crack jokes about it I'm going to be stubborn.

I know this all seems ridiculous, but I just know I'm going to go red every time I see my MIL now, and I've always wanted to make a good impression with her seeing as she's got such strict morals.

[tethersend]

"was gushing about the processor"

I bet you were.

Does his mother know?

I don't care if you are a troll, this shows unparalleled attention to detail.

[Kentmummy]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

[southeastastra]

is all i can manage

[EauRouge]

How about getting a hand blender and using that instead?

[RespectTheDoughnut]

Is it only me who thinks this'd be really painful? & also difficult... How do you lower yourself on to it? Isn't there a bowl in the way?

[EcoLady]

Really? And what kind of food processor works without having the lid properly fastened?

[Onetoomanycornettos]

I'm more worried about what you did with the rolling pin...

[PatFig]

what make is it?

[BitOfFun]

Haven't we done this one already?

[Deflatedballoonbelly]

What a fantastic post! LOVE THIS!

[Onetoomanycornettos]

I thought that was power tools?

[onepieceoflollipop]

"what if she guessed?"

Well, obviously I don't know your mil personally, but I imagine that if you looked a bit she first thought that popped into her head would not have been

"oooh, I bet dil was riding the food processor"

I don't believe you fwiw, but it was a mildly entertaining/amusing tale, and there isn't much on telly tonight.

[TattyDevine]

The best thing is the ROC microdermabrasion thingy, it sort of curves up, hits your G-spot a treat.

[thefurryone]

I've had a shit day, this has cheered me up no end

[NimpyWindowmash]

I have a bit of a thing for kitchen utensils (and I'm not joking) - if you get bored of your DH send him round here.

[LoopyLoopsIsNoLongerFestive]

Um...

[PatFig]

onepieceoflollipop
footbal is on ITV

Looks like I will be going down to London to watch my team play Arsenal in the next round

[Jodalina1]

hahaha so funny!!! Dont think she would have guessed however if you keep going red in front of her she will know something is wrong lol.

[Newgolddream]

Ive obviously been naive then, just using my kenwood for chopping and slicing

FWIW I dont believe you either, but youve got some imagination so should consider sending your "stories" into a porn mag or something lol.

[TragicallyHip]

And where do I get me one of these food processors??!

[Queenofthekitchen]

Respect, I took the bowl off. My fanjo isn't so big that it can accommodate a bowl, thank you very much.

Bitoffun... you mean others have tried it? I'd love to be put in touch with them to improve my technique. I mean if you like being whipped there are forums to discuss that sort of thing. Who am I supposed to turn to for help?

[Blatherskite]

Rolling pins

[HostOfPhantomListeners]

I don't know why you're all crying troll so readily.

It's like I was saying to dh just last night as he spanked me with a whisk, nobody takes anything at face value anymore.