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To be hurt that my sister hasn't asked me to be a bridesmaid?

(20 Posts)
poshsinglemum Sat 15-Jan-11 19:13:21

I have tried to be friends with my sister but she isn't having it. I am looking foward to her wedding but one of my friends was surprised that I am not a bridesmaid. Is this a snub?

About 10 years ago I was seriously ill and had to be hospitalised due to my narcasistcic ex. I had a braekdown. She hasn't quite forgiven me for it.

StewieGriffinsMom Sat 15-Jan-11 19:15:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shakirasma Sat 15-Jan-11 19:16:01

YABU. As far as I know there is no etiquette that says sisters must be bridesmaid. Most wedding I have been to sister have just been guests.

hairyfairylights Sat 15-Jan-11 19:18:12

Yabu. Her choice.

thisisyesterday Sat 15-Jan-11 19:19:16

do you WANT to be a bridesmaid? to someone who hasn't "forgiven" you for being seriously ill???

i wouldn't.

hidingmytrueidentity Sat 15-Jan-11 19:21:40

Is she having other adult bridesmaids?

Tbh I think that adult family bridesmaids (well any adults really) are more than a bit naff.

They always look awful in some nightmare creation chosen so that they don't outshine the bride. They always seem uncomfortable and then worse they have to sit at the top table without their partners and children.

Just be grateful.

ilovemyhens Sat 15-Jan-11 19:22:02

It's her day, it's up to her who she has as bridesmaid.

poshsinglemum Sat 15-Jan-11 19:25:02

True and I am generally happy for her. I didn't even think about it until a friend was surprised. we are not close at all but things are better then they have been for ages so I won't let it ruin things.

I would rather wear my own choice of dress than a bridesmaid concoction. I think dd will be a flower girl and thst's good enough for me.

poshsinglemum Sat 15-Jan-11 19:25:26

I am excited about the wedding.

BluddyMoFo Sat 15-Jan-11 19:27:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluddyMoFo Sat 15-Jan-11 19:28:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hidingmytrueidentity Sat 15-Jan-11 19:30:21

Well of your daughter is being a flower girl then it is bestbthst you are not a bridesmaid as it may make her day less special. Your daughter will be the centre of attention and you can be the glamorous proud mum rather than the frumpy hassled bridesmaid. Her pictures will be adorable- you will put them in your house and not want to burn them as they also have you looking awful in a burgundy/gold/ mint green meringue/shepherdess dress.

herbietea Sat 15-Jan-11 19:30:49

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thisisyesterday Sat 15-Jan-11 19:32:00

if you didn't even think about it until your friend commented then there is nothing wrong!

i think it could be a snub, in some situations, esp if you were very close to your sister... but that isn't the case. you're building bridges and you're both happy with it and that's what matters

moshchops Sat 15-Jan-11 19:35:23

posh - she has invited you, thats all that counts.

canyou Sat 15-Jan-11 19:57:14

I was bridesmaid for one sis and will be again in a few months for my other sis tbh it was and is a lot of running around doing stuff and not being able to say no as it is a 'bridesmaids duty'. You will have a lovely day as a guest admiring your DD and wearing a beautiful, comfortable dress that makes you look fab.
Herbietea would you be able to do a special day with your sis spa or lunch or afternoon tea somewhere posh? My BF did this as her Sis was very ill and unable to attend the hen party, kitchen party, honeymoon party etc

GeneralissimoVonBobbington Sat 15-Jan-11 19:59:40

YANBU to be hurt - I was when my sister didn't ask me - but you would be unreasonable to tackle her about it.

As others have said, it's her day. My sister didn't ask me because she thought I wouldn't want to. I found this out after stupidly confessing how hurt I was to my Mum who then stuck her oar in as further ammunition tried to repair the damage hmm

Maybe that's why your sister hasn't asked you - or maybe she has lots of people she would like to ask but not the budget to pay for all their dresses?

MadamDeathstare Sat 15-Jan-11 20:04:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

herbietea Sat 15-Jan-11 20:18:38

Message withdrawn

canyou Sat 15-Jan-11 20:22:47

Do Herbietea I am considering doing it for my Sis who is getting married soon as It can be a girls only day for family esp as Mum will not be at the hen night and stressed by throwing a honeymoon party.

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