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(12 Posts)
Andrewofgg Fri 14-Jan-11 10:29:42

I want the views of an audience which is mostly female with young children because I am male and my son is grown up.

I have recently taken on a post at work which requires rota'd Saturdays, one in six, and I am the only one of the six with no dependents (parents long dead). One of the others, call her Sue, has twice phoned on Friday evening or early Saturday morning with a tale of woe about a sick child or a carer with a cold and will I help?

I have done but she is being difficult about agreeing an exchange date,

I now learn that my predecessor was a widower with no children and he did almost all the Saturdays, I think he liked the contact with people. But he is retired and I think Sue is taking the piss.

I intend to take her aside and tell her that my private life is as important as hers and she must now make reliable arrangements without involving me for her Saturdays. I will cancel the "debt" she now owes.

And the next time she is on DW and I (have I got that right?) will be on a train next stop Paris if she rings in the evening or already there in the morning and she will bloody well have to manage.


BooBooGlass Fri 14-Jan-11 10:30:33

YOu sound lovely and understanding hmm

ENormaSnob Fri 14-Jan-11 10:31:15


she is taking the piss

FabbyChic Fri 14-Jan-11 10:31:35

You are not being unreasonable if she is just using you as cover, which clearly she is.

Have arrangements next time so you cannot fill in for her.

ronx Fri 14-Jan-11 10:32:44


PaisleyLeaf Fri 14-Jan-11 10:32:59


I don't think you need to say too much about it or take her aside. Just, next time she asks, you're not available.
And the time after, and so on. Like you say she'll just have to manage.

JBellingham Fri 14-Jan-11 10:33:22

Just say no

coatgate Fri 14-Jan-11 10:33:27

She should take responsibility for her own working arrangements. It is always nice to help people out in an emergency, like the kind and understanding person I am sure you are, but if she has history then no, YANBU. Not having dependents should not make you the fall guy.

elephantjelly Fri 14-Jan-11 10:34:35


I would make her work off the debt

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake Fri 14-Jan-11 10:34:41

Surely it's up to your boss to arrange cover and not you.

If you're not available or don't want to be available then you could have said no.

To be honest it sounds a bit disparaging when you say "her tale of woe" - she can't get to work. And that is a separate issue than you choosing to do it.

Serendippy Fri 14-Jan-11 10:34:43


LowLevelWhiiingeing Fri 14-Jan-11 10:35:39

If you can help out, help.

If you don't want to or are unable to help, say no.

No need for a big drama, it's the nature of shift work.

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